I Am Woman

I am woman.

I get up every day before the sun breaks through our win­dows. I make your break­fast and get you ready for school. I love you, my lit­tle dar­lings. I kiss my hubby good­bye as he leaves for work. You may not do your home­work. You may be rude to me. You may cheat on me with some­one else. You may beat me, you may do this daily. You all make me cry so badly. Still, I wait for you to return home every day. This is what I do. I am woman and I love you.

I am woman.

The news­pa­pers say I shouldn’t wear such short skirts and spaghetti straps. I will arouse the desire in men and they will want to rape me. I’m ask­ing for it, you see. My sis­ters who are mar­ried shy away from me; they cage their hus­bands like prized pigeons I would steal and devour whole. I am a slut, I am a hussy. Call me a whore, call me a ter­ma­gant. I am woman and I shall do as I please, but remem­ber this, I have feel­ings too, and I did not ask for this.

I am woman.

I am a shout in the dark. I will make you see what you would rather not. I want my vote, I want my seat in the bus. I have my rights, fair and for­ward as any­one else, and I know them. I will not allow them to dis­ap­pear from dis­use; I will exer­cise them before they are taken once more from me. I take noth­ing for granted. I am a voice, and I will not be silenced.

I am woman.

I believe in God. I believe in the Mother. I believe in noth­ing. I believe in believ­ing. That one day, this won’t be so hard. I won’t have to explain myself any­more. I won’t have to carry this weight all by myself. I won’t have to turn away from your cruel eyes and your easy judge­ments; I won’t have to stare you down like a lioness. I will walk down the street and lift my head up high and have your arms around me, like a lover, like a friend, like a peer who is both dif­fer­ent and equal and beloved for that. I will love myself.

I am woman, and this is cause enough for celebration.

Nisa, Henny & Ellyne

Nisa, Henny & Ellyne

Today’s blog is in sup­port of Inter­na­tional Women’s Day (March 8). Got the heads up from Dina Zaman (author of I Am Mus­lim), and I must stress it’s not just for women blog­gers — guys, if you are pro-women, do your bit too. Cel­e­brate this day and cel­e­brate the women in your life by append­ing the attached IWD logo and link­ing your blogsite to the IWD web­site at http://www.internationalwomensday.com.

Express your­self.

I am ded­i­cat­ing this day to three young women who, while they aren’t moth­ers yet, remind me of my mother in her stead­fast­ness and her love. (My mom’s the coolest, by the way.)

This is for Nisa, for your love of your brother, and your con­tri­bu­tion to the local com­mu­nity of care­givers of men­tally dis­abled chil­dren and young adults. This is for Henny, for work­ing so hard to improve the lives of your fam­ily, a stranger in a for­eign land turned the most dynamic busi­ness­woman I know. This is for Ellyne, for dar­ing to love, for liv­ing out your pas­sions every day like they mat­ter, which they do.

Every­thing I’ve said is true except for the first bit, of course. Maybe I’m not a woman. Maybe I’ve not walked a sin­gle step in your shoes. But I salute you, for what you do, every day of your life — you travel miles for who you are and the ones you love and the small great things you believe in. Your grace­ful mien, your strength and your quiet tears — you are woman, and I respect you today, and every day.

.

Photo Cred­its: The model used in my IWD design is the redoubtable Donatella Car­raglia; pho­to­graph taken by the supremely gifted Michael Aaron Stone. They make the sweet­est cou­ple ever.

78 Comments

  • And many apolo­gies to Dina Zaman for riff­ing off the title of her new book I Am Mus­lim for my own piece here.

    Believe it or not, it wasn’t inten­tional, but serendip­i­tous. I only realised it after the fact, but I don’t mind either way. It’s a great title. :)

  • lil ms d wrote:

    nice! very lovely post!

  • To thy of the sweet­est soul,

    Love, peace and lotsa joy unto you always always *hugs*

  • This is one of the nicest and sweet­est post i’ve read..Thank U for under­stand­ing that we’re born dif­fer­ent, Thank U for respect­ing us and Thank U for mak­ing today spe­cial for all women out there. i in turn salute you, my friend. ;o)

  • I love your post except have a prob­lem with the part where you say “you may beat me”…“I will wait for you” That I can­not accept, per­son­ally hav­ing worked with domes­tice vio­lence per­pe­tra­tors, it’s lay a fin­ger on me and you will never see me again. I hope you don’t mind but I feel really strongly about this, as I have co-run a court ordered domes­tic vio­lence men’s group before and there­fore have zero tol­er­ance for it. :o )
    Hav­ing said that, again I really do love this post and thank you for writ­ing it.

  • Fire­Horse, i do agree with u that men shudn’t lay a fin­ger on us..but how many women actu­ally have the courage to run away? some­one very very close to me is still with her hus­band mis­treats her because she has 3 kids to think about..it’s sad but its true..

  • Now why you gotta get all emo like that :’)
    *sayang Kenny* =P

  • I love the post~!

  • *soriee…miss out the ‘who’ between hus­band and mis­treats. heheh…*

  • lil ms d,
    Glad you like it. Like I said, I’m wor­ried about peo­ple mis­in­ter­pret­ing it, but if it’s okay with you, I know I’m not too far off the mark.

    Lil Pixie and kG,
    So sweet. Thanks.

    Fire­Horse and Spiffy,
    I don’t con­done spousal abuse at all, or indeed any form of vio­lence towards women. My mean­ing here is sim­ply that women can be so strong, that despite such ill treat­ment, they still go on, they still love. Kudos to you for your work with domes­tic vio­lence groups, Fire­Horse! :)

  • kenny, of course, I know you would never con­done DV. Sorry if my com­ment implied that. Never in a mil­lion years would I think some­one as sweet as kind as you would think that. I just meant that women shud not take any kind of vio­lence towards them. I also agree with Spiffy, that leav­ing such abu­sive rela­tion­ships might be eas­ier said than done. *Hugs* dear kenny. Ya I get what you mean by the woman being strong that way “to love against all odds” kind of thing.

  • Hey, Kenny — great piece of writ­ing and so very fem­i­nist of you! Fan­tas­tic to see such proud and poetic sup­port for Wom­ens Day!

  • PS. Re the domes­tic vio­lence issue, I’m read­ing Kenny’s take on it as satire and irony — ie a crit­i­cism of the men who think they have the right to abuse women — and as a defi­ance of those men. ie “you can do what you want to me but I will still stand up and fight and defy you”. Pow­er­ful stuff.

  • I just meant that women shud not take any kind of vio­lence towards them.

    Very true, Fire­Horse, and let’s hope today will go a long way into edu­cat­ing both par­ties on the issue. I’m proud to know some­one like you who feels so strongly on this issue as I do.

    Take my Mom for exam­ple. She may appear to be a typ­i­cal con­ser­v­a­tive Chi­nese house­wife, but she knows her rights. If any­one dares take a hand to her, well, they just might find them­selves miss­ing that hand. And both my par­ents made sure my sis and I knew this, that women deserve every bit of respect as men.

  • Hey, Yang-May!

    I appre­ci­ate your thoughts on my post here. Not sure if I’m a fem­i­nist though; I worry about “-ist” labels that seem to divide more than they unite. But as far as being proud of sup­port­ing women, I’m all the fem­i­nist you can have! ;)

    And your com­ments may have more weight than you may imag­ine. At times satire may just fly over the heads of the pop­u­lace; worse still, other times, it may not be satire at all. The weird­est things do hap­pen here…

  • Kenny-Wennyyy,I thank thee for this oh-so-sweet trib­ute to all women. Nothing’s sex­ier than a man who’s ves­ti­gially in touch with his fem­i­nine side. I take my hat off to you, sweet sir!

  • Aiyoh, and I thought this post was gonna be con­tro­ver­sial or sumthin’. Why is every­one call­ing me sweet? *shakes head in disbelief*

    And what do you mean by “ves­ti­gially in touch with his fem­i­nine side” — huh? ;)

  • kenny, sorry only got to read this today — touched down. eat, eat and eat!
    Yes, I am woman and this is cause enough for cel­e­bra­tion! Good one there!

  • enar arshad wrote:

    hi…its sweet and so are you for post­ing it.

  • ahh kenny… must have stolen the hearts of many women today huh… haha!

  • Yes, so sweet of you. Is there a Kenny Mah Club where I can sign up??? :o )

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye1

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye2

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye3

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye4

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye5

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye6

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye7

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye8

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye9

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye0

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye10

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye test

  • Kenny Mah Ying Fye Kenny Mah Ying Fye Kenny Mah Ying Fye

  • eyF GniY haM ynneK

  • i want my mommy

  • i want me mommy

  • mom­meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • This is redicu­lous. Please stop spam­ming my blog space here.

  • And I am not “ves­ti­gially in touch with my fem­i­nine side”.

    I am female by birth. I went for a sex-change oper­a­tion 5 years ago.

    And I don’t know how to spell ridicule.

  • Zewt, i agree with u..Kenny sure stole and melted a lot of hearts yes­ter­day. heheh…;o)

  • Aiya, what’s with the spam­ming. You got stalker here, Kenny?! So sweet of you to write this. If only all the men in the world are like you.

  • it’s either kenny has a fan stalker or a hate stalker, Lydia. heheh…;o) we can only wish that all men are like him..sighh..

  • Gosh! Thought I come in and check on the com­ments and saw my id being used! Kenny, did you track it down with the ip address?

  • Wah Kenny, spam on women’s day!!

  • Hey Kenny — that’s an elo­quent and poetic piece of prose on women. Soci­etal con­dem­na­tion and prej­u­dice against sin­gle / divorced women (para 2) prob­a­bly leads to para (1) plus the expec­ta­tion on women to always be duti­ful, obe­di­ent, sub­servient, etc, esp to the hus­band and the impli­ca­tion that if there is some­thing wrong in the mar­riage, then it’s the woman’s fault. (Today’s case also high­lights that when a man has an affair, it’s the other woman’s fault more than his!).

    Lovely piece of writing.

  • Kenny: Care­ful now, sweet sir. You’ve got a weirdo stalk­ing you. You melted someone’s heart a bit too much with that post ;)

  • Just got the chance to read your post today. You are so sweet. Thank you for appre­ci­at­ing what I’m try­ing to do. I love you so much. *Hugs*.

  • Power to Kenny Mah’s mom!! This spam thing is con­fus­ing, was it you who said you went for the oper­a­tion 5 years ago?

  • Fire­Horse
    Yes, I was born female. No big deal.

    Nisa,
    Thanks. You are a sweetie too.

    wmv
    It is hard to track ip addresses that are behind a firewall.

  • If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are los­ing theirs and blam­ing it on you;
    If you can trust your­self when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubt­ing too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by wait­ing,
    Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or, being hated, don’t give way to hat­ing,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream — and not make dreams your mas­ter;
    If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with tri­umph and dis­as­ter
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spo­ken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to bro­ken,
    And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

    If you can make one heap of all your win­nings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your begin­nings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is noth­ing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings — nor lose the com­mon touch;
    If nei­ther foes nor lov­ing friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unfor­giv­ing minute
    With sixty sec­onds’ worth of dis­tance run -
    Yours is the Earth and every­thing that’s in it,
    And — which is more — you’ll be a Man my son!

    1

  • How many roads must a man walk down
    Before you call him a man?
    Yes, ‘n’ how many seas must a white dove sail
    Before she sleeps in the sand?
    Yes, ‘n’ how many times must the can­non balls fly
    Before they’re for­ever banned?
    The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
    The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

    How many times must a man look up
    Before he can see the sky?
    Yes, ‘n’ how many ears must one man have
    Before he can hear peo­ple cry?
    Yes, ‘n’ how many deaths will it take till he knows
    That too many peo­ple have died?
    The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
    The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

    How many years can a moun­tain exist
    Before it’s washed to the sea?
    Yes, ‘n’ how many years can some peo­ple exist
    Before they’re allowed to be free?
    Yes, ‘n’ how many times can a man turn his head,
    Pre­tend­ing he just doesn’t see?
    The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
    The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

  • Where have all the flow­ers gone?
    Long time pass­ing
    Where have all the flow­ers gone?
    Long time ago
    Where have all the flow­ers gone?
    Girls have picked them every one
    When will they ever learn?
    When will they ever learn?

    Where have all the young girls gone?
    Long time pass­ing
    Where have all the young girls gone?
    Long time ago
    Where have all the young girls gone?
    Taken hus­bands every one
    When will they ever learn?
    When will they ever learn?

    Where have all the young men gone?
    Long time pass­ing
    Where have all the young men gone?
    Long time ago
    Where have all the young men gone?
    Gone for sol­diers every one
    When will they ever learn?
    When will they ever learn?

    Where have all the sol­diers gone?
    Long time pass­ing
    Where have all the sol­diers gone?
    Long time ago
    Where have all the sol­diers gone?
    Gone to grave­yards every one
    When will they ever learn?
    When will they ever learn?

    Where have all the grave­yards gone?
    Long time pass­ing
    Where have all the grave­yards gone?
    Long time ago
    Where have all the grave­yards gone?
    Cov­ered with flow­ers every one
    When will we ever learn?
    When will we ever learn?

  • Rows and floes of angel hair
    And ice cream cas­tles in the air
    And feather canyons evry­where
    Ive looked at clouds that way

    But now they only block the sun
    They rain and snow on evry­one
    So many things I would have done
    But clouds got in my way
    Ive looked at clouds from both sides now
    From up and down, and still some­how
    Its cloud illu­sions I recall
    I really dont know clouds at all

    Moons and junes and fer­ris wheels
    The dizzy danc­ing way you feel
    As evry fairy tale comes real
    Ive looked at love that way

    But now its just another show
    You leave em laugh­ing when you go
    And if you care, dont let them know
    Dont give your­self away

    Ive looked at love from both sides now
    From give and take, and still some­how
    Its loves illu­sions I recall
    I really dont know love at all

    Tears and fears and feel­ing proud
    To say I love you right out loud
    Dreams and schemes and cir­cus crowds
    Ive looked at life that way

    But now old friends are act­ing strange
    They shake their heads, they say Ive changed
    Well some­things lost, but some­things gained
    In liv­ing evry day

    Ive looked at life from both sides now
    From win and lose and still some­how
    Its lifes illu­sions I recall
    I really dont know life at all
    Ive looked at life from both sides now
    From up and down, and still some­how
    Its lifes illu­sions I recall
    I really dont know life at all

  • We shall over­come, we shall over­come,
    We shall over­come some day
    Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe we shall over­come some day

    We shall all be free, we shall all be free,
    We shall all be free some day
    Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe we shall over­come some day

    We shall live in peace, we shall live in peace,
    We shall live in peace some day
    Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe we shall over­come some day

  • For­give, sounds good
    For­get, I’m not sure I could
    They say time heals every­thing
    But I’m still waiting

    I’m through with doubt
    There’s noth­ing left for me to fig­ure out
    I’ve paid a price
    And I’ll keep paying

    I’m not ready to make nice
    I’m not ready to back down
    I’m still mad as hell and
    I don’t have time to go round and round and round
    It’s too late to make it right
    I prob­a­bly wouldn’t if I could
    ‘Cause I’m mad as hell
    Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

    I know you said
    Can’t you just get over it
    It turned my whole world around
    And I kind of like it

    I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
    With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
    It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
    Daugh­ter that she ought to hate a per­fect stranger
    And how in the world can the words that I said
    Send some­body so over the edge
    That they’d write me a let­ter
    Sayin’ that I bet­ter shut up and sing
    Or my life will be over

    I’m not ready to make nice
    I’m not ready to back down
    I’m still mad as hell and
    I don’t have time to go round and round and round
    It’s too late to make it right
    I prob­a­bly wouldn’t if I could
    ‘Cause I’m mad as hell
    Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

    I’m not ready to make nice
    I’m not ready to back down
    I’m still mad as hell and
    I don’t have time to go round and round and round
    It’s too late to make it right
    I prob­a­bly wouldn’t if I could
    ‘Cause I’m mad as hell
    Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

    For­give, sounds good
    For­get, I’m not sure I could
    They say time heals every­thing
    But I’m still waiting

  • I am an orphan on God’s high­way
    But I’ll share my trou­bles if you go my way
    I have no mother no father
    No sis­ter no brother
    I am an orphan girl

    I have had friend­ships pure and golden
    But the ties of kin­ship I have not known them
    I know no mother no father
    No sis­ter no brother
    I am an orphan girl

    But when He calls me I will be able
    To meet my fam­ily at God’s table
    I’ll meet my mother my father
    My sis­ter my brother
    No more orphan girl

    Blessed Sav­ior make me will­ing
    And walk beside me until I’m with them
    Be my mother my father
    My sis­ter my brother
    I am an orphan girl

  • When you walk through a storm
    Keep your chin up high
    And don’t be afraid of the dark.
    At he end of the storm
    Is a golden sky
    And the sweet sil­ver song of a lark.

    Walk on through the wind,
    Walk on through the rain,
    Tho’ your dreams be tossed and blown.Walk on, walk on
    With hope in your heart
    And you’ll never walk alone,
    You’ll never walk alone

  • Who­ever it is, please kindly stop SPAMMING now.

  • enar arshad wrote:

    hi,
    i realised that being a woman u r born strong,life can throw all sorts of fruit at u and u will some­how made lemonades,jams,pickles.….etc.there will be war going on, a mother still worry about food, laun­dry and never give up hope.being a woman some­how u r resilient,courageous and will­ing to go the extra mile or km.

  • Actu­ally, I think it is a very coura­geous thing to do. I am just so glad you are part of my life.
    Hei, did you go to the Blog­gers Party, how wazzit? Hope you had a good time, got pic­tures?? :O) Have a great weekend!

  • Thanks, Fire­Horse.

    Being a trans­gen­dered per­son ain’t easy espe­cially in a con­ser­v­a­tive soci­ety like in Malaysia. It was much bet­ter when I was in Germany.

  • Hi Kenny, I found your blog through WMW. A great writer you are…I wish I can write like you. Thanks for writ­ing such a nice piece for March 8th. I was in Bei­jing on a busi­ness trip and had a half-day off…but in the US, they don’t even observe the day…go figure.

  • Kenny! I was refer­ring to your fem­i­nine emo­tional side!I didnt know that you had gone for the pro­ce­dure! But I believe that all men should be in touch with their fem­i­nine side and try to under­stand women bet­ter and the world would surely be a bet­ter place! The spam­ming is rather dis­tract­ing laa but what­ever it is your post is a great trib­ute to all women and I thank thee for that!

  • The Quiet Storm, Fire­Horse, enar arshad, and all read­ers of Kenny’s blog…

    the com­ments posted are NOT from Kenny. as far as y’all know, Kenny has his body bal­ance train­ing going on this week­end and has no time to reply to his comments.

    i’m extremely upset that some­body has decided to spam Kenny’s site and also to spread untruths about him..this has gone too far..>:o(

    Please stop all this nonsense!

  • Good Lord! This is really awful!When will he be com­ing back then

  • The Quiet Storm,
    i’m guess­ing he’s still rest­ing after his training..i don’t know when he’ll reply to his comments..probly today or tomorrow..*shrugs*

  • The real McCoy is back! For those won­der­ing which ones are spam com­ments, here’s a list so far:
    Com­ments # 22–45, 55–64, 67. [The spam­mer pre­tends to be wmw and me.]

    How do you tell the dif­fer­ence? The real me will not only have my url but also my photo next to the com­ment. The spam­mer can dupli­cate one but not both at the same time.

    Read the next post (My First Time…) for the whole story.

    Adoi, so drama… :D

  • […] home, thought of check­ing my email for a bit before start­ing my prac­tice and low and behold, I see a series of spam com­ments on my I Am Woman post. This spam­mer decided to hold the guise of wmw and myself, and alter­nate between pre­tend­ing to be […]

  • […] and lis­tened to my mad ram­blings, and I grew more con­fi­dent with each sen­tence. I read “I Am Woman” and two pieces from Bro­ken Morn­ings — “Is This Miss­ing You?” and […]

  • Here’s another one for you. I work past 12 mid­nite every­day. Some­times till 2. Some­times 3. My car’s the only one parked in the silent carpark. The guards turn off the lights at that hour, and it’s pitch dark­ness as I use my cell­phone light to guide my way to the car. The guards say it’s com­put­erised; they can’t do any­thing. My male bosses know of the sit­u­a­tion, but not once have they voiced their con­cern that I’m walk­ing to my car in my office com­plex alone in the dark. I’m not ask­ing for sym­pa­thy; after fight­ing so hard for equal rights, I sup­pose a woman shouldn’t com­plain about walk­ing alone in a dark carpark. But in the light of women’s lib­er­a­tion, human decency seems to have dis­ap­peared as men seek to pro­tect only those who appear ultra frail and weak. I am a woman. So I don’t have an ultra fem­i­nine fig­ure or the skin of a young rambu­tan, but I am no dif­fer­ent from any other per­son out there who wants to feel pro­tected. I sup­pose where I am right now, I will have to fig­ure out a way to help myself, but think of the other girl who may look like me, but is timid and afraid. Who will pro­tect her?

    I’m pissed off with those who think they’re cham­pi­oning our rights, but as it turns out, they’re just cham­pi­oning a cer­tain population’s rights. Def­i­nitely not mine.

    I’m gonna have a beer now.

  • Lyri­cal Lemon­grass,
    Hope you enjoyed that beer. I think I need one too myself…

  • I am woman too.
    **ps: NOT spam..

    Michelle

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