That caught your attention, didn’t it? What would it be like being in bed with Lydia Teh, you wonder? Now, before you let your mind get away with you, let me clarify — we (the avowed fans of Lydia Teh; maybe I should start another fan club, eh?) think it would be a fab title for a television talkshow starring our very own Desperate Housewife.

This idea was actually mooted recently at Lydia’s final talk on her book tour. (I first met Lydia at her book talk at MPH Midvalley, about a month ago.) Imagine something Sharon Osbourne-ish; the Malaysian madame herself snug in a fluffy four-poster bed while interviewing her guests. But before she begins her new career, she’ll have to submit to some interrogation herself, conducted most humbly by me and witnessed by her legion of fans in Borders Bookstore, Berjaya Times Square.

The interviewer and Lydia Teh

Lydia, in a nutshell, what’s the book about?
Malaysians! (Ed: Big laughs all round.)

Why did you set out to write Honk! If You’re Malaysian?
It came as a sequel to Life’s Like That which is a compilation of published pieces, most of which had appeared in The Star. Eric Forbes, my editor suggested that I worked on a sequel as such stories are evergreen.

Did you purposely time it to be released this year?
No, but this year being Visit Malaysia Year and our 50th Merdeka, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

I notice there are more bad stuff about Malaysians than the good points. Does that mean we’re a bunch of, uhm, losers?
Definitely not. But bad is nicer to read about than good. We have our bad habits such as rubber time, bad driving, procrastination etc but we have our good points too. Malaysians are a generous bunch of people, when there’s a need to pass the hat around, we can always be counted on to chip in.

The book was released at the end of December. How’s the book doing so far?
Fantastic! It’s in the best-seller lists in bookshops. The week it was released, it was no. 1
amongst local books in MPH MidValley. (Check out Lydia’s blog for the listing.)

Lydia and her legion of fans

Can you share with us some of the promotional tools you’ve used to launch Honk! into the best-selling list?
Running contests on my blog such as the suggest-a-title contest and write-a-review contest. I got my kids to help out at book talks. Dress them up in red, wrap up their heads in bandanas, get them to honk at the mall, walk around with sandwich boards to promote the talk.
(Ed: Not to mention throwing mandarin oranges at audience members during CNY.)

I’m sure there are plenty of would-be writers out there; what advice do you have for them?
Cook a pot of glue in the kitchen, apply to posterior and write.

Here’s a question I love to ask everyone: Where do you get your ideas for stories?
They’re culled from everyday experiences.

And your favourite story?
No favourites. I like them all, but if I have to choose — We’re Malaysians-lah, We Don’t Kiss, None of Your Business, etc.

Finally, can you reveal a little about your upcoming projects?
Decisions, decisions… Novel? Parenting book? Compile the Eh Poh Nim stories in The Star? Aiya, don’t know-lah. (Ed: Perhaps she should consider the talk show idea, eh?)

How does one characterise Lydia’s writing? I believe her answer to my first question says it all: It’s all about being Malaysian. Her popularity is easily evidenced by a quick look at bookstores recently — I can’t find a single copy of Honk! as it’s completely sold out! (A second printing is on its way.)

Here’s a snippet from one of my favourite pieces in Honk! — Manglish Very Short One (something we read together at her book talk; I took the standard English part, she covered the Manglish translation):

English: Siva, you seemed to have lost some weight.
Manglish: Siva, you gone down oredi.

Lydia was generous enough to present me with a copy of her earlier book, Life’s Like That, and this has become my fast favourite. It’s my bedtime reading and has been the cause of reluctant insomnia as I find one chapter is never enough. Once I start reading about how she negotiates kids on errands, I must continue with her hilarious and poignant tales of the family “pet sematary” and so on.

Most of her stories are frank observations of Malaysian life and the humour that comes with it. Yet Lydia has a much more personal take on stories like A Letter to My Unborn Baby and Always with Me (about her grandfather, her Ah Kong) that’s touching without being overly sentimental. I leave you with an excerpt from the last piece in Life’s Like That — Confessions of a Book Addict:

It is difficult to find time for reading books these days. (But) I can’t resist a good yarn. Meals would be served late. Children’s whining ignored. Hubby’s grumbling shut off. Television would have lost its lure.

Nothing can beat a good book.

I couldn’t agree more.