There are times when life can be so surreal, doubt becomes an easy afterthought. You don’t think, “Hey, this doesn’t really happen in real life” because what is real life anyway? What could it be but what’s here, right now, in this moment?
Last night, dinner was Teochew porridge with Henny and Nisa. A spontaneous affair, the best kind. No appointments, no hassle, no injured egos from coming too early or waiting too long. Light, bland and nourishing food; conversation somewhat spicier.
This is how you should start the weekend: not with a bang, but a slow pulse of life again after a week of deadlines and expectations. One could hum to the pace of us easing into a good time.
The conversation steers to my current, unexpected shift in direction. Nisa asks me why I am doing all these design work; weren’t I supposed to be writing. I was, I tell her, I am. It’s just that designing and illustrating is like getting off; it’s quick, it’s intense and you get immediate gratification. Writing a book is more like loving a woman; it takes a long time if you do it right; if it’s good, it could take lifetime.
Nisa looks at me and tells me that, in all the time she’s known me, this was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever said. I swear, these are her exact words. I don’t know why, but I smile and I am pleased.
Henny says I should write that down, it’s a good line. I don’t. I don’t need to. I know I’ll remember this.
The best part is this really happened. We did say these things, these beautiful sentiments. Like lines from a film.
Later, Henny asks why I was so worried about getting a book accepted by a publisher, why so worried no one would read it. If your stories are so noncommercial, why not write something that sells instead? Why not romance, she adds, with a naughty wink.
I am about to tell her that I don’t do romance when Nisa counters with a But he does. I mean, it’s not your typical romance; you have to be in the right mood to read it, he has a way with words, Kenny, it’s like the Before Sunrise/Before Sunset you lent me, it’s not Hollywood but you know they really feel it, they mean it. You just have to be in the right mood when you read it.
And I look at her, because just last month she was asking me how to read them, my stories, she was having difficulties understanding what I meant with certain passages. I had told her to interpret it anyway she wanted, once it’s in your hands, it’s in your hands. And now I see she has read them, she has read them all, and understood.
And I say to her, kitschy and awkwardly symmetrical as it may be, that this most certainly is the nicest thing you’ve said to me. And what I really mean is, Thank you for understanding, thank you for getting it.
Really, what more can any writer want?
42 Comments
Sigh… you are definitely a man of many talents. One day when you become fehmes, I can say “Wah he came to my blog” lidat hor?
Kenny, tks. you stopped by my blog. I downloaded your”Broken mornings”, hope you dont mind. I have not been reading blogs lately, so any of your books in the bookstand? Sorry if i blur blur..
FireHorse,
Wah, if I become fehmes, you can say whatever you want lah. I’ll be too busy grinning to myself to notice ma… Hahaha, seriously, where got?
Julie,
You’re back! Long time no hear from you! And of course, I don’t mind — it’s there for you to download and read. Do let me know what you think ya…
P.S. No books at the bookstands yet, but you’ll be the first to know if my books turn up there…
—
Hmmm,
Coincidentally I was introduced to movies Before Sunrise/before Sunset by my director (I was in his short film. in his entry to the BMW shorts awards- I hope he wins!) recently. He was enamored by it, and kept us as actors to try and replicate the level of subtle intensity the characters had for each other.
Riggghhhttttt … I just met the female actor just 1 hour before shotting began.
Apologies, I’ve diverted from your original thoughts in the blog.
Writing & comprehension.
Nah, now that sounds like a English textbook heading.
Actually, I have other questions.
Whats you rate for going freelance design and illustration? Sometimes I think I’m not charging enough, or perhaps not getting enough jobs. I’m rather uncertain and miffed about several things but it doesn’t hurt to ask if it settles my nerves.
As for you analogy about design and illustration being ‘quick, intense and immediately gratifying’ … I will agree to that in the context of commercial based design and illustration; much like copy writing and commercial writing.
Either description from the fast and dirty to loving and enduring, will apply to apply to creative outlet or art. The difference lies in its intent, practice and execution.
I guess, bluntly put- I’m feel demeaned and belittled by how my profession and passion can be devalued to ‘quick, intense and generally a quick get off’. My apologies if I sound curt and defensive because I am, and it does no one favours should I deny it.
I suppose I’ve said my piece now; long-assed as it may be.
I will offer you just as much wasted space on my blog for retribution if you so wish.
((hugs)) by the way.
Just coz your writing so delightfully huggable.
—
— darn it, no edit button.
— i need a new k-board, my damn keys are halfway stuck and some don’t work.
Heya G, just a quick note that I’ll get back to your comment(s) once I’m done with Lydia Teh’s interview at Borders, Berjaya Times Square. Got to run now…
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Oh I hope you have fun and all around good exp!
Lick her for me!!!
by the way, I’ll be out getting my new k-board and calling friends to see who wants to spend the day with me.
—
Wah you are right lah, Kenny. Very ‘Cheeem.’ Up there with ‘You complete me’ and ‘I love him for the man he is and I love him for the man he almost is.’
G,
Lick her for you? I’m gonna assume that’s one massive typo. Otherwise…
But back to your questions:
1. Before Sunrise & Before Sunset are two of my favourite films, separately. Together, they are invincible. Romantic films the way romantic films should be, not all Hollywood-ishly perfect with a bow-tied happy ending. Anyone who hasn’t seen these films yet, go watch right now!
2. Rates do differ, I suppose. Most of my work that you can view right now is done gratis. The projects that are ongoing, well, let me speak to my agent… (I’m kiddin’!)
3. Well, it’s like that famous Eleanor Roosevelt quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” We have to find our pride in our work, even if we have to sometimes submit to our clients’ demands. I believe that’s why they pay us.
Just cos it’s quick don’t mean it ain’t good, bro.
Xeus,
Ahh, I think you are far more romantic than I am lah. Can remember all these lines some more… Is Jerry Maguire your favourite romantic film?
Kenny, is G talking about me? Must be typo in that word Lick. If not, must be a new way of greeting - from Timbuktoo ah?
Don’t forget to email me your stories. Thanks for a great job at Borders today. Will blog about it asap.
Kenny, I think the scriptwriting in Jerry Maguire is almost perfect. We can learn a lot from it. I wish I could write dialogue like that
My fave romantic film is You’ve Got Mail.
Lydia,
New way of greeting or not, I doubt licking people in public will catch on here in Malaysia. Dah le kissing tak boleh…
Broken Mornings is on the way to you. And it was my pleasure to interview you!
Xeus,
Cameron Crowe wrote/directed not only Jerry Maguire, but Almost Famous as well. Have you seen the latter? That’s my favourite music film.
Kenny, maybe you can write licking into your next script. I’m sure it’ll catch on as the next romantic nig thing, like holding hands in public and French kissing. I saw Almost Famous but can’t remember any memorable lines from it other than Penny Lane.
really, Kenny..ur sensitive side has slowly emerged, no? ;o)
oh…btw, u gotta borrow me the movie. =P
argghh!! my borrow and lend has strike again. i meant to say..u gotta lend me the movie. =P
p/s: sorie for spamming ur comments page! heheh..
Xeus,
Holding hands in public and French kissing is the “in” thing now, meh? Not here, methinks. Haven’t you read the first chapter in Lydia’s new book? “We’re Malaysians-lah, We Don’t Kiss.”
Spiffy,
No problems. I’ll pass both DVDs to you once I get Before Sunrise back from Nisa. You can’t watch Before Sunset before you watch Before Sunrise. Sunrise before Sunset, geddit? :p
As for grammar, we don’t do that here at Life for Beginners. You can borrow and lend me anything you want…
And what sensitive side? Sensitive skin got-lah…
And for you, Xeus, here’s an entire scene from Almost Famous, a phone conversation that more or less sums up the movie in less than romantic terms, but at the end, teaches us all something about our responsibility to our art and our lives:
Lester Bangs: Aw, man. You made friends with them. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong.
William Miller: Well, it was fun.
Lester Bangs: They make you feel cool. And hey. I met you. You are not cool.
William Miller: I know. Even when I thought I was, I knew I wasn’t.
Lester Bangs: That’s because we’re uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don’t have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we’re smarter.
William Miller: I can really see that now.
Lester Bangs: Yeah, great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love… and let’s face it, you got a big head start.
William Miller: I’m glad you were home.
Lester Bangs: I’m always home. I’m uncool.
William Miller: Me too!
Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world if what we share with someone else when we’re uncool.
William Miller: I feel better.
Lester Bangs: My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful.
Kenny
I said “beautiful” not sweet…
Really? I can swear you said “sweet” and we both know who has the near-perfect memory here. But then again, you do have perfect selective memory, so…
Anyway, “beautiful” is, well, even more beautiful, so I’m gonna go edit it now.
I have to confess I did not read all your stories. I only read 3: Happiness (because I always start reading book from the back), The Dancer and Almost. Comment I gave that night was based on the 3 stories I read. Will read the others when I’m traveling later. As I said you need to be in the mood.
So thinking of going on a holiday at the beach this year…Perhentian, Lang Tengah, . Nice… (This is Nisa changing topic again hahahaha….)
Well, then you chose pretty decent stories to start with; at least these are some of my favourites.
And what does that mean? If go Perhentian get mood to read another story? Then Lang Tengah, mood for another? Aiyoh, how many vacations lah you need then to read my whole book?
Don’t you love it when that happens? When you encounter lines in real life that you know belong in a film or a book. At least in your case they were nice lines; in my crazy world they’re mostly things like “why does my dissection cadaver smell like McDonalds?” and “The rectum…we don’t really use that here in Britain” (by a lecturer talking about routes of drug administration; don’t get any funny ideas).
And talking about public displays of affection, in our recent Malaysia Night play we made a sarcastic joke about the fact that you can’t hold hands in public in Malaysia. Before we realised that the Malaysian Ambassador was in the audience that night.
D’oh!
Great blog, by the way. I’ve added you to my links. Hope you don’t mind the heading I’ve given you
what more indeed?
hahhaha….okie okie. Sunrise before Sunset, right! =P
no, no..gotta practice that borrow and lend thingy..heheh..k ler, make an exeption at Life for Beginners..to be truly malaysian. ;o)
sensitive skin?? *tsk* *tsk*
The Angry Medic,
That’s hilarious! I’d take the nasty lines over the nice lines any day; like I said, I’m not a sweet guy at all, so this particular incident was odd at best. Still…
“The rectum…we don’t really use that here in Britain”
O a comeback to that would be too easy. Too easy. I can think of three at least. But won’t divulge them here for the sake of my British friends…
Thanks for linking to my blog. I’ve gone and had a look at yours and I love it! A bit technical/medical-specific sometimes, but funny. Me like funny. Linking you right back!
Xill-e-Ilahi,
Spiffy,
Yes, don’t forget Life for Beginners is 100% Made in Malaysia, ya. No import tax like that one. And like all good locally-produced products, skin manages to be quite thick and sensitive at the same time. Impossible? Not here. Malaysia Boleh!
Yes, Kenny. Malaysia Boleh! haahha…
ah. just dl-ed your book. i shalls read it whens i can.
you noticed the ‘kicking’ pun in my chuck norris post! haha
Oh goodie. Hope my doesn’t do bad things to your tummy. It has been known to cause cases of spontaneous indigestion.
And I notice all puns; the bad ones are particularly tasty…
Hi I’m new to blogging so I won’t know what I am doing half the time, I found your site through Fusion View, and I wanted to say I enjoyed it very much. Before Sunrise/Sunset is my favourite movie too (Alas!). I was thinking that I should try writing very short prose as I can’t seem to get enough energy to write for long! So looking forward to reading your book to see how you do it.
Hello there Msiagirl!
Welcome to the crazy world of blogging! Hope you have much fun here. What’s your blog url? I would like to visit it too.
And I’m always happy to meet another fan of Before Sunrise/Before Sunset. It’s a good gauge of the type of person we are…
As for my book, just download it in PDF format here. It’s called Broken Mornings. Enjoy…
Hello there, Msiagirl!
Welcome to the crazy world of blogging! Hope you have much fun here. What’s your blog url? I would like to visit it too.
And I’m always happy to meet another fan of Before Sunrise/Before Sunset. It’s a good gauge of the type of person we are…
As for my book, just download it in PDF format here. It’s called Broken Mornings. Hope you enjoy…
Hello there, Msiagirl!
Welcome to the crazy world of blogging! Hope you have much fun here. What’s your blog url? I would like to visit it too.
And I’m always happy to meet another fan of Before Sunrise/Before Sunset. It’s a good gauge of the type of person we are…
As for my book, just download it in PDF format here. It’s called Broken Mornings. Hope you enjoy it…
P.S. Don’t give up writing! Short prose is still prose!
Hello there, Msiagirl!
Welcome to the crazy world of blogging! Hope you have much fun here. What’s your blog url? I would like to visit it too.
And I’m always happy to meet another fan of Before Sunrise/Before Sunset. It’s a good gauge of the type of person we are…
As for my book, just download it in PDF format here. It’s called Broken Mornings. Hope you enjoy it…
P.S. Don’t give up writing! Short prose is still prose!
Dear Msiagirl,
Thanks for visiting Life for Beginners. I’m always glad to meet another lover of Before Sunrise/Before Sunset. Do keep at writing shorter prose, because it’s even more difficult to fit a good story within such limitations.
You can download my book Broken Mornings here. Hope you have a pleasant experience reading it; I’m not liable for any horrifying consequences ya…
I downloaded your book and read it, and my two favourite stories are Almost and Happiness, your prose there is tight and your description is disciplined which makes the imagery of these stories really stand out for me. Thanks for the inspiration - the design of your book is also very beautiful. (Don’t worry I’m not horrified-I can take it!, but impressed at what you are aiming to achieve.) Can you talk more about the title of the book? Did you choose it because your collection is a lot about loss and letting go?
I’m surprised how many people like Almost and Happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I like them too, but I always thought they were too moodsy/abstract for mass consumption. Guess this shows you how much a writer knows about his own writing.
I chose the title Broken Mornings from a passage in one of the stories, The Woman Who Throws Empty Bottles into the Sea. It reads:
This came to me during the initial proofreading and I was already wondering about a title that would sum up all the stories as far as one single thing could. Mornings are always a time of brightness and hope and beginnings, but they don’t always turn out that way. The way we want them to be. Sometimes, something fails, and we’re left with broken hopes, broken promises, broken lives — broken mornings.
And I wanted to end the collection with You Can’t Wait and Happiness where the former is the turning point, the shout-out to take back your life and pursue your passions, and of course, Happiness is just that. A simple moment of joy. Something none of the bad days and lonely nights that might follow can erase.
My hope for you is that you have many more moments of such happiness. Thank you for telling me about your writing and I will come back and read more of your blog again.
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