There is a long line to happiness. It’s not straight nor is it easy. At times, feeling lost is every day, is every night, is something that feels not right but feels also if this isn’t right, there is no other right. It is vertigo that lasts for years and when change comes (and comes it does), when waking hours turn the veil back (and tear it away, away), here is the sound, the fury, of being alive.
It’s not a destination, she says, it’s this moment, it was that moment, do you understand? I didn’t, not before. Now films and books educate me, when before they only entertained, only disguised these shallow semblances of thought, of curiousity, of doubts. And so I listen and try to understand, I try the best I can.
And this is what I come up with. Live in the now. I had already said I want to make the most of my life, but I need to live more in the now, no more of the could be’s and the should have been’s. So what was the remedy? Children, I went to watch a live band.
Siva, me & Yuri @ Laundry
Or, to be precise, my old high school mate Yuri, whom I’ve not met in ten years, play his original compositions live at Laundry bar last night. Since our teen years, he’s gone and done his university degree like any other good Malaccan boy would do, got a great job in a large multinational and started a band with his friends. Well, maybe not that last one, though I’m sure we all wish we did that too.
Some of you may have heard of Frequency Cannon — they did the theme song for the local film Gol & Gincu — I discovered them years after I returned from Germany, being blur as usual and not all that hip with the music scene. (Another band member, Siva, was my classmate too, and used to be a personal trainer, so these circles we run in, they run ever the smaller, eh?) And then Yuri left his corporate career to become a full-time composer in a music studio. How cool is that?
Answer: Very.
Who wouldn’t want to get his dream job: doing exactly what he wants, his passion, his love? In fact, I met Peter Brown and wife at Laundry before the performance, and the lady expressed similar sentiments — how lucky they were to do what they love. Music, arts, whatever. Ah, yes. Whatever.
Shooting me, shooting you
And all my friends ask me why I don’t write or design or instruct at a gym as a full-time job. My answer usually goes something like: Do you have to do something just because you love it? Isn’t there a danger of losing that love if you have to do it to earn a living?
Which may be true, but not entirely. Look at Neil Gaiman, at Tori Amos, at Dave McKean. It can be done. People can live their dreams. So why don’t I do it? Well…
I’ll leave you all with a quote from a Washington Post story about how us humans may only value art if we can frame it within context (discovered via the inestimable Sharon Bakar); O how this made me smile:
If you love something but choose not to do it professionally, it’s not a waste. Because, you know, you still have it. You have it forever.
kenny, I still dont know whether i like what I am doing…perhaps I do but I am getting tired and somehow sometimes I feel I do not fit in anymore. But on other days, I feel, hey, world,here I come! Today is not one of those days.
passion and love make you do funny things. and yes, i would highly recommend live gigs as a way to live it out
Whoa, someone’s living it up in KL high society eh? Thanks for rubbing it in, Kenny. At least it gave me a taste of home as I sit here in the library at 3am and slave over some insignificant molecule that about 3 people in the world genuinely care about
Heh. But that final quote was fantastic. My idol Donald Trump’s first commandment is ‘Love what you do’. Medicine is not easy to love at times, but I think we know you don’t have that problem
Oh, by the way, Kenny, do you have an email address I can reach you at? Have a couple of questions to shoot at you, mate.
i always envy those who can do what they thoroughly enjoy as the work. come to think of it… when they enjoy it so much… it’s no longer work… right?
i have a friend in frequency cannon too… KuaChe.
Deep thoughts, Kenny. The practical and the ideal do not match, often. But I share your admiration at the brave souls who chuck the former to go for the latter, and find they can still stock up their fridge at the end of the day. We seek our own meanings, eh? And just to remind you: happiness is the journey not the destination. Thanks for the article.
Kak Teh,
I know what you mean, those days can come suddenly and stay too long, but I try my best to remember the good days when the sun is shining and I feel invincible. The road isn’t straight, as I’ve said, and it may not be altogether too pleasant either, but it’s the only road I have no matter how many turns and forks it may deliver.
I don’t think I’ve ever fit in, even now. Some of my friends wonder if I’ve turned into a bookaholic (duh! like, my whole life?) or a fitness freak or a designophile or what? All labels, all true and all not. Fitting in costs too much if it means I can’t be myself, and I do a good enough job of denial to need another helping hand.
Let’s hold our hands together when we get tired and the days go long, for we will journey our different paths together. We may not fit in, but who wouldn’t appreciate a little companionship along the way?
Pat,
I’m not sure if I’m passionate enough about my passion but I’m okay with it. I’m not answerable to anyone but myself after all. By the same token, I’m responsible for me and the things I do, so.
Live music is something different alright, even the simplest strands can move you if the moment is right. I attended Tori Amos in concert in Munich in 2001, and I knew then, I could die happy. I even believed it for a couple of weeks, then realise it only whet my appetite for more — more live music and more Life!
How I wish I could play music or sing! Nothing can move me more than a perfect song — the subtle noise and the splash of quiverwords — if that isn’t magic, nothing is…
The Angry Medic,
Trust me, brother, when I say I can neither afford nor have the inclination to live or live it up in KL high society.
Seriously though, these are normal folks no matter what clothes they are clad in, how cool or uncool they are, what religion or politics they wear and wave round; it’s humbling to realise how human we all are.
And yeah, sometimes our loves aren’t easy to love, prickly things that they are, but we are foolish and innocent that way. Some would say God loves us this way; I certainly do and when I see folks with the courage to work on their dreams, I know we are worth saving as a race, as a people, as an idea.
Love Mr.Trump and his no-shit, no-prisoners attitude. He may be a media whore, but at least he’s honest about it. And as you’ve said, he loves what he does. Time we do the same, yes? (I’ve certainly spent too much time running in the opposite direction.)
P.S. Will email ya, no probs. Don’t shoot them too hard though.
Zewt,
I used to envy them all day, and I guess I still do. Only difference is that I want a piece of that action now. I want to know what it feels like to do something I enjoy, to create something I’m proud of, to affect someone else in a positive manner, the way I have been in the past and still do, lucky sod that I am.
And yes, sometimes they/we enjoy it so much it may not seem like work, but it is still hard work, it’s sweat and tears and creating from the heart, and this matters the most, the honesty that comes through all the layers of pretty and ugly.
That’s all I hear in my head these days, that refrain from Sufjan Steven’s Come On! Feel The Illinoise! { Part I: The World’s Columbian Exposition / Part II: Carl Sandburg Visits Me in a Dream } — “Are you writing from the heart? Are you writing from the heart?”
P.S. Not met him yet, but who doesn’t wanna meet a bloke called KuaChe? His name means seed, yo…
Eliza,
Agreed, they don’t match often. But I have found myself in the past falling into the trap of assuming that this is always so, and making the decision to chase the practical at the expense of the ideal, telling myself there will be time for it later.
Later doesn’t exist — it’s just one long excuse to forever.
And when I finally realised that, I decided to stop doing whatever I was doing (which amounted to nothing much than digging a deeper hole or a longer tunnel to no where, metaphors be damned) and take a break. Not to reflect or think or whatever. Just a break from everything.
Could I afford it? No, not from a financial point of view, but I’ve been down that road before and that’s a shortcut to dismay and disappointment.
What was true was that I couldn’t afford not to. That was when I understood this bit by Clarissa Vaughan in Michael Cunningham’s novel/Stephen Daldry’s film The Hours:
Aye, the journey it is, I have no doubts of that. It’s about stopping ever so often to smell the roses, the orchids, the children, the smog (which I did do in Prague, much to Donatella’s chagrin, after too much fresh air in Bavaria), the sounds of the city, the chaos, the lords by the streets, the fashion victims who pray they love you one day, the silence…
Hi Kenny,
*Do you have to do something just because you love it? Isn’t there a danger of losing that love if you have to do it to earn a living?*
Maybe, maybe not
I fell in love with music, fell out of love with it. Fell in love with dance, failed to live it up (because my parents didn’t want their son to be (quote:)some limp faggot with a professional degree in dance and not engineering or medicine).
And then I wrote, because I love to. Because nothing could stop me. Because it felt so right. Nothing’s ever felt this right, since dance–and this time, I am convinced that this is the love that I have long been looking for.
But yes, sometimes I feel like quitting–for various reasons–but like you said: something that feels not right but feels also if this isn’t right, there is no other right.
Hey friend, the questions you ask are very important. We spend most of our lives working — I’m sure there is a statistic. Mr G and I believe passionately that we should do what we love and love we do. I am less A type than Mr G — he focused “bam!” on what he wanted to do and year on patient year, he has achieved it. Tapek to the man. However I am not like that, unless I know what I want — and I want many many things. And I can do many many things — all fairly competently, reliably and with integrity. So it is easy for me to simply fall into one thing and another and merely to love it as it comes. After a while of this — one starts asking questions like you have. I believe you can have what you want and change your own universe patient mind block by block, and I believe if you set out with faith on your journey, that the universe responds to the work you put into your dream. I might not be able to stock the fridge yet with what I do, but I am really happy on that path and the people I’ve met on the way, like you!
Lydia,
You are indeed fortunate to have it all — a family of four great kids, a supporting husband and a burgeoning career in writing. Ever the day you grow more lovely and attract more fans to your work.
But anyone who has read your second book, Life’s Like That, would know none of this came easy. A lot of perspiration and determination went into it, from writing courses to submitting stories to newspapers. Passion has a price, and rewards those who are willing to pay that price.
I’d say you have paid your dues to be where you are right now, Ms. Malaysian Bestseller — Honk! Honk!
kG,
Never quit, take a breather if you need to, find your own pace and own rhythm, but if you know this is the thing you want to do, then I believe you know you have no other choice, really.
However, realise that the real world is a realm of compromises and you may want to make some of these, not because you owe anyone anything but because it, too, is the right thing to do.
I followed my parents’ wishes and became an engineer. I didn’t stay one, that wasn’t part of the contract, and while they were initially disappointed, they too learned to accept that.
We don’t have to be the ones to give in all the time, but we do have to, sometimes. It’s not all that bad. Some of my worst decisions could have been avoided if only I had listened to the two persons who had my best interests at heart.
That’s the one true thing that will never change. Believe that.
(Doesn’t mean you have to give up your dreams, though. Never give up, never surrender. Galaxy Quest, anyone?)
Msiagirl,
Wow, what a wonderful personal philosphy you’re sharing with us! Thank you, dear, for being opening yourself up to us.
I guess I’m sorta like a mix of both Mr G and yourself — nearly everything I’ve set my eyes on, I’ve achieved, yet my interest and momentum do not usually last, perhaps because my eyes and heart wander like butterflies from one bloom to the next.
I keep questioning everything, including myself, on this journey, and while I don’t always get answers, the ones I do receive do surprise me everytime. Things are never as bad as they seem, and I’ve met enough good people to retain my faith in humanity, in goodness in this world.
No, I’m unable to stock my fridge fully with what I do either, not yet, but at least I can rely on the kind thoughts and support of friends like yourself to keep me warm during those cold, uncertain nights when my dreams look further away than usual.
I feel good!
Thanks babe. Wasn’t planning on giving up.
(Btw, am I Mr.G?)
Galaxyquest! YEAH! Kenny — that’s one of my faves too
Remember you have always achieved what you wanted before, even if it is for other people. Slowly ever slowly, we will identify what we want to achieve for ourselves. The problem is not achieving, ya? But allowing ourselves our own secret dreams, bringing them to the light and giving them permission to live. aiyah now I sound like a guru with beard…
YOU WENT FOR A TORI AMOS CONCERT??
i hate you already.
Kenny,
It’s your life, and no one can tell another person how to live it. I like changes cos I get tired of the same old thing. Changed jobs before too, and along the way, found a thing or two that I like to do. But now, didn’t have the time nor the good health to do it. *Sigh* But thank God, I am still able to move around.
i like that philosophy too
my taste of writing makes me realise what hard work it is and how i value it much more for not having to earn a living from it
develop what someone told me is a portfolio career
btw am trying to organise readings for 28th april (just waiting for confirmation of the venue) are you still okay to read? can you e-mail me ‘cos when mt hard disk crashed i lost everyone’s contacts!!
kG,
Good for you, then.
(And Mr. G is Msiagirl’s hubby. So many pseudonyms — I feel so uncool using my real name, haha.)
Pat,
Don’t hate me… Let’s go to the next one together! We just need to get a corporate sponsor for our plane tickets, hotel, wine & dine…
Alice,
Couldn’t agree with you more. Sometimes though, it’s we ourselves who expect others to dictate the direction our lives should take. Perhaps we are all secretly masochists…
I am grateful for my health and ability to do what I can while I still can do it. I know things could have been very different. For example, I could be obese today and suffering from various weight-related maladies had I not pinched this problem in the butt when I was younger. (I’ve cruel schoolmates to thank for this, I suppose.)
And I believe we all have exactly the right amount of time to do what we need to do. If only we choose to do so, that is.
Bibliobibuli,
I like the sound of that — a portfolio career. Maybe I’m just not that disciplined enough, or maybe I’ve finally come to a place where I’m not stressed 24/7, but I don’t feel the burning need to write anymore. Or draw. Or paint.
I still want to, and I still do. But it’s no longer a life-or-death thing for me. I can accept that I may suck and people may tell me so. It’s strange saying this, for this is so not who I was just a couple years back. Time does change us, I guess.
Readings 28/4: Count me in! Now the next question is what should I read? Hmmm…
hey it says my comment back to you is awaiting moderation — is it lost?
kG — sorry you thought I might have meant you, though must have been worried i was getting a little personal
Maybe Kenny can read again on 26 May so i can see him read!
» There is a long line to happiness.
For me, there is a big difference between happiness and contentment. Happiness is fleeting, and often dependent on external forces. Contentment is forever, and comes from within, deep within.
Kenny,
It’s not bad to meet your high school mate after 10 years eh? I wonder if I can have a gathering with my high school mates after 10 years. I’ll try to make it.
Kenny — when I worked as a lawyer I really looked forward to the weekends for that 2 day break. I decided that when I no longer looked forward to weekends because Monday would turn up again then I would leave. I did leave. Luckily, I could afford to.
For a better simpler life. I recommend “Your Money or Your Life” by Joe Dominquez. It is the best book you’ll ever buy on financial independence, living a simpler life and doing what you love.
Msiagirl,
Ya, for some reason Wordpress swallowed up your comments but I managed to recover them, so no worries.
See, I knew you were cool, but now that I know you like GalaxyQuest too, I know this for sure!
I love how you put this: “… allowing ourselves our own secret dreams, bringing them to the light and giving them permission to live.”
Amen to that.
P.S. kG might be getting interesting ideas about you now, heh heh.
P.P.S. Read again? Adoi, first time also norchet, you wan second time di, ar?
Chet,
I like how you differentiate the two. I like to think of one as joy, and the other as contentment, both parts and whole of true happiness.
So, are we joyful? Are we content? Are we happy?
Why not? It boils down to a decision anyway, even in the depths of hurt, we can find strength to be happy, if we dig deep enough. I always try to hum a tune, for example, when I’m stuck in traffic, and it seems to work.
(Of course, I could just curse and flick the birdie to strangers as frazzled as me, but it would keep me in a foul mood even longer.)
Kok,
Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be planned. Sometimes you just happen to bump into them on the street or in a movie theatre (both of which has happened to me numerous times).
For some reason, we never meet them during the first couple of years post-graduation; most times, it’s a good ten years later. Maybe it’s the Universe’s way to giving us all a chance to grow into our own skin so that when we do meet up again, we’ll have something to talk about.
The one line I keep getting is “You lost so much weight!” (Variations include “You’re thin!” and “You’re not fat anymore!”)
Maybe ten years is just the right amount of time for a complete makeover…
Tunku Halim,
Thanks for your recommendation. Will look out for it. I do feel exactly the way you described right now. That two-day break is the highlight of my week, and I suspect for many others. There is only that much time to do all I want, though I believe it is exactly the right amount of time.
It’s Monday again now, and while I can’t turn back the clock to Friday evening again, I can revert to a weekend well-spent with friends and strangers doing all sorts of wonderful things. Living is my greatest love right now — not just breathing but really living.
—
Ok, suffice to say — in a nutshell, I’ve already answered this query for myself a long time ago.
I begin to live my life without regret or hesitation about .. ooh, a few years back.
I do theatre coz its fun, and I do performance poetry when I can and sing in a little bit even if I’m no good because it has to be done.
Not urgency not risk but simply to know I did .… withing context of safety and beyond the comforts of myself.
And still I slog on this office commercially based design work.
I want many things but I do want I know is just irrational hesitation and bare;y fear that questions myself.
I’ve gone for singing audition, knowing that I couldn’t be a any harsher on myself than them on me. (I dont even know if I could sing, but it was … there)
I tried theater out of the blue because there simply was an audition and I had the day free. (And look where i am now, I’m still surprised by the shock of others when i tell them I only discovered or watched stage theater when 2 months After i got the acting role)
I travel when I can as long as there’s still money in the bank.
I volunteer, I do what little I can to be here for friends and family.
So why can’t I do something that I love for a living?
Because there’s too much to love … too much for me to do.
Devotion is a tricky taskmaster and though I am unable to learn those grand lessons, I’ll certainly be an avid listener in the windows ledge.
Its even funnier to know …
I only started writing … and I do mean really writing (my first play and novel) about a year ago. To have it performed was a moment of divinity.
Its a strange feeling when others gasp at the fact I just begin.
But you never know.
And you know i just have to be slutty blonde for this part
?
—
I saw most of the musicians / performers on charity night a few months ago also at the laundry.
Is it wrong it want to bear Yuri’s children? Or simply want practice till I do
—
Its strange how we all slowly seem more connected … scarily so.
Maybe one day I will live up to be the slut I want to be.
I LOVE GalaxyQuest by the way!
(LOL) — Why the HECK is this even in here!” — weaver, the number of deathtraps that exist on the way to the core control room (LOL)!
Like Kok, I too, would wonder if I can meet up with my old classmates. I tried posting on the Klang forum from Lydia’s page, but so far no one has responded. Perhaps no one remember me. After all, I wasn’t all that popular. It will be be nice to meet up with my best friends though. Heard that one of them became a lawyer.
G,
Thanks for sharing, bro. I believe your experiences, while unique, has a touch of the familiar many of us have felt before.
And yes, you never really know what might happen till you try it. For you, it’s the theatre, for me, well, it’s almost everything this year — writing, blogging, design, literary events, BodyBalance, new job, everything is a new experience for me again. Fresh again if we look at them with fresh eyes.
Keep writing, and I’m sure we will love to read some of it when you are ready. As you said, you never know.
Lastly, I’m not sure if it’s wrong to want to bear Yuri’s little demons, just not sure if you have the, uhm, apparatus necessary for childbirth…
(Yuri, I did promise you I’d get you some new fans…
)
mrshbt,
Don’t be disappointed. Not everyone is as Internet-savvy as you and Lydia. Sometimes it’s better to stumble onto them by accident, start chatting and catching up in the middle of the streets, minutes pass, then hours before you realise you both have errands to run, exchange numbers, only to forget about each other later, or to have lost the receipts where you scribbled each other’s numbers on, or maybe you do meet up again, and again, and it’s friendship renewed and O why wasn’t it this good, this honest, when you were both younger?
But if none of these scenarios turn up, at least you’ll have memories of them in your heart, yes?
i don’t know what my dream job is,Kenny.. cuz like Msiagirl..i love doing a lot of things. but then again..if it’s somethin we love to do, then it wouldn’t be a job, right?
i’ve also learnt along the way to live life NOW, to not worry about my problems too much because i knoe they will settle themselves when the time comes, to choose to be happy rather than dissapointed,sad,angry.. i didn’t use to be like this tho, positive-minded me…heck no.
when i was younger..i had too much burden laid upon my shoulders that i nearly gave up on life. i had no one to go, no one who understood even if i told them..*my previous entries wud show all..* i was just kind-of waiting for life to eat me up and to make me dissapear from the face of the earth.it was one of my lowest point in life..
it’s truly a miracle that i managed to survive it all..till now i’m still amazed by it. ;o) so yeah, i may not be content with my life right now..but i’m happy with it. i look forward to everyday because i believe there are new things to learn every single day. i’m just grateful that i don’t dread going to work right now..
P/S: sorry, sorry..terlalu panjang punya comment…
“then again..if it’s somethin we love to do, then it wouldn’t be a job, right?”
Actually, yes. It’ll still be a job; it just won’t feel that way. Which is what I’m talking about. To get to the point where this distinction between passion and career doesn’t matter no more.
I am glad you have chosen to be more positive in your outlook; it’s a decision I made too. Looking back at some of my blog archives (with some years still missing and still waiting to be uploaded), I wonder who this angry person is.
So, yeah, we all have low points; that’s okay. What matters is that we are able to move on, and move on up (in terms of our general outlook on life), and this with the help of our loving family and a few damn good friends.
“i look forward to everyday because i believe there are new things to learn every single day.”
Good for you, spiffy!
So is Yuri playing in May?
Yes, he is. He’ll be playing with his band Frequency Cannon, details from his blog as follows:
Does this fit into your schedule?
ahhaha. i’m sure we can wangle out some fat cat to send us to a tori amos gig somewhere. connections!
muse was electrifying enough to last me another few more months
And I missed out on Muse! We really need to go to a concert together, Pat… we’ll show ‘em what FUN is… Yeah, move to the groove, yeah… uhm, yeah?
*slinks away slowly*
ahahahahh!! yeah, we’ll show ‘em
now if only the good bands would come. if they’ll ever.
life has never been so gloomy.
Dang! if it’s not on 26/27 May I can’t go
Maybe there’ll be something else that’s good.
It was great to see you after all these years, Kenny. As for living your dreams, well, we all try don’t we. I’ve always loved the way you write, since school days actually. And you still do it, so hey, who cares if you do it for a living or not, as long as you do it, yea?
The day we stop trying is the day we die our slow deaths, I think.
hahahahha… he used to be from my school… my junior actually. he probably doesnt know me by name… by look perhaps.
Hello, Kenny!
Thanks for your work, is very good, and have a good week.
David Santos
i so wish i could attend one of those blogger events (although im not quite sure if everyone is qualified)
Pat,
I think more and more good acts are coming to town, esp. if you compare the current bands with, like, ten years ago. But it doesn’t have to be gwailo bands or Hongkie toy-boys only, right? Let’s support our local bands! (I know you do, just saying it loud for everyone, ya.)
Gloomy? The weather’s certainly on the annoying end, starts raining in the evening the moment I want to leave office and go home. But in terms of Life in general, I hope things get sunshinier for ya… Yum cha with you one these days, maybe? I’ll cheer you up no end with stories of my silliness and incomparable idiocy…
Msiagirl,
I’m sure there will be something else more than decent (though Yuri old boy would prolly be disappointed not to garner a new fan), we’ll have a look round and see what we come up with.
The best part is that you’re coming during the weekend, so we’ll definitely have a better chance of catching some event or another, be it music, literary or even a political rally. Uhm, scratch the last one. Not big on that, is me. But something fun, I promise.
(If anything, it’ll be good practice for me when my favourite Italian-Polish couple fly into town for their honeymoon in June and I’ll have to ferry the lovebirds around, haha…)
Yuri,
Same here, man. I can’t believe ten years have passed us by, and damnit, you look exactly the same! I don’t remember what I used to write in school but I do remember the time we went for the HSLA English Games and how we just had fun, being completely irreverent. It was the one time during school when I wasn’t 100% competitive and man, did I enjoy it!
And I’m still doing it, aren’t I? Can’t believe that, actually, but hey, you’re still playing music too and making it, so I guess dreams can come true so long as we keep trying. A little bit of magic to get us through the hours of day, the years we spent on this little earth…
zewt,
Ah, I’m sure he’ll remember you, one of Malaysia’s Sexiest Male Bloggers, haha…
What a fantastic award to win!
David Santos,
Thanks for dropping by! Will visit your blog soon — I trust Ruby Ahmad’s recommendations completely.
sulee,
Yes, you can! Everyone is super-friendly; just need to break a little of the ice. You’d be surprised at some of the people you meet — some of the nicest ever! The blogosphere regulates itself so the weirdos get weeded out naturally…
I dont think there’s any here (not esp in Victoria) even though there is it wouldnt be as happening as those back home..
break a little ice eh? Borat accent will do? im good at that hahaha
sulee,
Well, you never know, so keep looking for events or just fun activities to join in. Doesn’t have to be blogger-related, after all. It only seems happening back here because I am looking out for them. In the past, when I wasn’t, it seemed as if KL was a really boring place!
Borat accent will do most wonderfully. Shall I call you Ms. Borat, then?
—
What!
Yuri was here and I missed him!
ARGHHHH!!! BUt I camped out all NITE!
Ok, ok.
So I may not have the necessary equipment for the task, but it doesn’t mean I cant stop trying to get impregnated the natural way
___
Sha la la la la
G,
What have I done? Created a monster here. I should get hold of Yuri and get you guys to meet up, if only to see what ensues. Betcha it’d be my most scandalous blog ever. O I am evil…
Izimat, my name eh HORAT!!!! call me horat!
Horat it is, then. All hail the HORAT!!
(Is it just me, or do I cause my readers irreversible soul damage? O whatever sells the patty cakes sells the patty cakes…)
Irreversible soul damage suggests the possiblity of futile reversing.
but, what if — i wish not to reverse.
What if this is evolution?
—
O.o
Why, of course I’d behave myself if I were to meet up with Yuri.
Is this meeting clothes optional?
—
>.
Boy, you are simply incorrigible, G-man. But we like ya like that. Like a badass Oscar Wilde.
haha… well, i didnt really win it, was just part of the nomination.
anyway, good point on us being the propblem when we are in awe of ppl who can speak the gwai-lo ways… never thought of that.
Zewt,
You know what they say, right? Being nominated is as good as winning. I’ve got a feeling you’d get some award or another pretty soon…
As for my comment on your accents post, yeah well, let’s just say I mingle with both sides of the equation and know well enough what both sides think of each other, whether they’d admit it or not. But this is what makes us Malaysian, right? The good and the bad and the O-so-ugly! Hahaha…
Was that a compliment I spied …
Oh, you do know how to liquify a mans ego to milky white goodness …
Well, I’m off for my opening night tonight.
( sigh ) — ah, plebeians actors …
Dontcha know it!
And break a leg… or two… or three…
Dear Kenny: you got all poetic on me…don’t lah, or you’ll send me into one of my mellow moods.
I am glad you’ve sorted out your priorities and have actually defined and pinned down what it is that you love to do, and would do, even if you don’t get paid for it. There’s a lot of people out there who still haven’t got that part of themselves very clear and I think it’s all right when you don’t realise it, but when you start searching for something more and don’t find it in the present life you lead, that’s when some soul-searching is due and the answers can be quite tough to stomach. Does that make sense?
Anyway, one very wise octegenerian once revelaed his secret to a long, fulfilling life: Love what you do.
Easier said than done but not impossible, I like to think.
Eliza D,
Mana ada poetic? Me, I don’t have a single poetic bone in me body. Please don’t get all mellow and melancholic because of me…
I wouldn’t say I’ve completely sorted out my priorities — I believe that is something ongoing and ever-changing as we age and mature — but I do have a good feel for what’s important to me, right now at least. So, what you say does make a great deal of sense to me.
Love what I do? Yes, please!
dreams… n dream jobs…interesting write-up n so close to the heart…
something i feel a lot of ppl tend to fall into the loop of settling for something they don’t really enjoy THAT much but pay higher as opposed to something they enjoy but pay less.
must be something to do with lifesytle and status in this day and age.
we jz prefer to stay in our comfort zone and embrace it as we already know the good and bad so we know wat to expect but goin into a totally new zone with so much uncertainty scares us to a certain extent.
i for one am part of the above. i know i’m best suited in an environment wer my talking can make money (as in sales, marketing, pr,etc.) but i’d rather stay at a boring desk job which does nothing to stimulate me/my mind for that matter because i KNOW i can do the job and i know wat the expectations are… and at the end of the day, put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.
hopefully one day i (or anyone who falls into dis particular category) can excape this and do something that feeds our souls and mind as opposed to our mouth.
congrats on being those few who actually enjoy wat u do
as always… jz my two cents worth
Dear asstha,
Thank you for sharing this with us. It’s tough to decide sometimes whether to go for what we love vs. what pays us well. Sometimes we don’t have this choice when we have mouths to feed.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have a day job (which is okay, but still a job, yeah) despite frolicking with all my passions week in and week out.
The one thing I learned from the past five years when all I did was pursue $$$ and an idea of an early retirement is this — what’s it for?
Lost sight of the whole point, I did.
Now, it doesn’t matter, for I am indulging myself daily or weekly or monthly in things that feed my mind, my soul and my body. It’s not always easy, but loads better than before.
You get to meet tons of great people this way, for one.
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