Let me tell you something about my family.

No, not the one that’s my Dad and Mum, my Sis and her virulent brood whom I adore and dread all at the same time. This family isn’t one I was born into, not something I have to live with for better or for worse (though it has to be said blood always seems to be better when we are worse); no, this family is something I could choose.

Yet what choice is there when it all comes together like magic? I’ve known Jason and Henny for years as casual friends; probably Jason first from our Sunday excursions up Batu Caves and down again to the delicious reward of the best roti pisang in the whole Klang Valley. Henny at posh parties and mixers, a popular girl who knew how to dress and how to impress. I could get her to ease up and boogie.

And that’s all. We never really got tight. Like stars that never collided.

Family Portrait I: The Four in the raw.

Then came distance. Days of uncertainty. Travel and tension. As I got sucked more into my own desire to plow ahead at all costs, everything came crashing down around me. Again. Almost.

This time, I finally learned something. That being such a workaholic, perfectionist, extremist… not only was it going to get me no where, it was gonna hurt me bad. And so. Serendipity.

Came on New Year’s Eve. Potluck party at a friend’s house. Alcohol in abundance but I don’t remember taking a drop. Was I a designated driver? No, but perhaps I was grieving for a life that never came to pass, and now, when a brand new year was barely hours away, never seemed further.

Fun and games. Old friends and new. Taboo. (How competitive am I at even party games! And to become the “snowball” legend, even years later — don’t ask.) And a girl I asked to be my girlfriend for two hours till the new year, upon which we would break up. Counter-Cinderella.

Come midnight it will all begin anew. She was mad, erratic, random, everything I was not. Got really drunk, asked me what the pretty stuff in the sky were when we went out to see the fireworks. So. We broke up on New Year’s and became friends instead. From strangers to boyfriend/girlfriendhood to friends. All it took was two hours.

Things can change.

I started going out with Nisa more often, as friends, of course. She cooked for me, her now infamous “ex-boyfriend of two hours”. Later, that got tired but our friends never got tired of teasing us. But two can crumble, two can waste away, two can break up, like eggs, like friendships, like hours.

So add more to the mix. One day, it was Jason, Henny, Nisa and me. We would never recall how. It was like there would always be the Diva and the Datin and us two men “servicing” them, or more often than not, happily failing at the task.

A family is born. The family. My family.

Family Portrait II: We clean up but good…

So you can imagine what a terrible front we must present when a potential date or boyfriend/girlfriend of a family member comes a-knockin’ on the door. How to impress us? Would we be harsh? Any three of us could shame Randy, Paula and Simon into retirement, and as for the fourth’s object of affection? Well, let’s just say we don’t call it an interrogation for nothing.

It’s rare that anyone passes inspection. We have high standards. See, that’s the thing about families. It’s all about love at the end of day, isn’t it? That’s the only way families grow stronger and not cookie-crumble. The only way anyone could possibly hope to match that, to gain entry, is through, well, there’s that annoying, overused word again — love.

Won’t be long before it’d be my turn to introduce my baby, not to the sharks (at least I hope not), but the ones who care enough about me that they would want to see me happy and truly loved. And that I am. Even before they meet you, they can already tell. The slight lilt in my voice, our not-so-clandestine conversations popping up during car rides and rowdy meals, the gushy-mushiness I’m spreading around like a bad rash, my couldn’t-care-less-if-I-look-dumb-while-I-dream-of-you-while-my-drink-overflows…

… they’ve learned to live with it now, poor guys. (They have to, they don’t much choice. It’s me, as The Diva so eloquently puts it.) Nothing has changed, except everything, now that you’re in my life.

So, don’t worry, baby. My family will love you. They already know I do.