Then & Now

What is it with memories?

They carry us through good times and not so good times. Are they just thoughts or do they mean some­thing more?

There are days I feel trapped by my mem­o­ries; the past — it’s not as for­giv­ing as we would like it to be. Is it the painful bits that grab us and won’t let go, or is it sim­ply the joy that don’t seem to remain?

Old friends

2001, Salzburg: Manuel, Gosia, Shan­non, me, Dona, Blue Mike, Fabio

I’ve been a bit under the weather of late (who am I kid­ding, let’s call it immense emo­tional dis­tress, and leave it at that). And my friends, they have ral­lied by my side, more than any­thing I would have expected.

It’s truly only in your dark­est hours that the light around you shines the bright­est. And I’ve been blessed with some incred­i­ble folks in my life.

Noth­ing beats the real­i­sa­tion that yes, in this life, we are alone. We are just us, by our­selves. We have to be, to forge an authen­tic iden­tity. But yet, we are never alone, not really, not unless we choose to be. There is so much love out there, no amount of pain or suf­fer­ing can dif­fuse it.

Then & Now

2001, on a train from Salzburg :: 2007, night lights in Kuala Lumpur

Thing is, peo­ple change. We all do. Even when we don’t. Feel­ings and idea and our bod­ies espe­cially. It’s aging and when we are for­tu­nate enough, it’s even a bit of grow­ing up we do.

I can think no exam­ple clearer than when my good friends Gosia and Manuel came over to Malaysia a few months ago for their hon­ey­moon. We’ve been friends for over five years, since first meet­ing them as stu­dents in Munich. This Italian-Polish cou­ple has shared so much of my life then, that just see­ing them again for the first time in half a decade, well, it was an explo­sion of memories.

Every­thing came back all at once, all the stu­pid things we did at 3:00 in the morn­ing, half-drunk and drag­ging “bor­rowed” bicy­cles around the city blocks, laugh­ing and danc­ing under a sum­mer sun, hours spent dream­ing and dis­cussing our futures, which had, sud­denly, with the rapid flight of time, has come to pass.

Mem­o­ries can be such beau­ti­ful things.

Then & Now

2002, in a tav­ern in Munich :: 2007, San Pedro Fes­ti­val in Malacca

But comes with time, comes change.

Gosia’s look­ing more gor­geous than ever. The glow of a new bride. Manuel’s put on a bit of weight, a healthy dose of belly fat fit for a hus­band. And me, I seem to have lost kilos with every month, but my smile is hap­pier. They were in love. And so was I.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned though: Change keeps chang­ing. It doesn’t stay still. It whirls out of your hands the moment you think you’ve got it all fig­ured out. And this is okay. This is Life. This is where the magic begins…

***

Next: The story of The Hon­ey­moon­ers begins with a spe­cial chap­ter from a guest blog­ger. My first guest blog­ger! I’m so excited I could… well, let’s not go into that here… ;)

11 Comments

  • Who is like the wise man? Who knows the expla­na­tion of things? Wis­dom bright­ens a man’s face and changes its hard appearance.

    Eccle­si­astes 8:1

  • some­times, past mem­o­ries can be really sweet but some are meant to be for­got­ten.… keep da sweet­est mem­o­ries and for­get bout da rest! by da way, very nice pic­tures… those pics remind me of my col­lege life, i missed my col­lege days so much :(

  • aiyo…ur post makes me real­izd tat lyf shud b live to its fullest even­tho it may has so many downs com­pared to the ups.. this is life aite? :)

  • imeau
    And wis­dom does come with time, with expe­ri­ence. From pain comes joy, comes dis­cov­ery of self and oth­ers, my dear… :)

    MeiyeN
    I’ll try to do exactly that: keep the sweet­est mem­o­ries and leave the rest to where it belongs — the past.

    *hugs*

    moja
    This is indeed Life, my friend, the very best of it. Go forth and pros­per, brother…

  • hey all the things we go through in life just proves to make us a bet­ter per­son… i think it’s there for a reason…

    hving said that… it’s not really a good idea to keep think­ing about it, but wen it does sur­face.. acknowl­edge it and let it flow through u thor­oughly.. remem­ber tues­days with mor­rie? (if u’ve read it… if not lemme know den i’ll bring it out dis week­end n show u dat pas­sage ya?)

    *hugs*… :)

  • It’s great to have friends from our past as well as present, they anchor us to our for­mer selves and remind us how far we have have come when we cel­e­brate the here and now together :)

  • asstha
    No, I’ve not read “Tues­days with Mor­rie” but I’d appre­ci­ate you show­ing me that pas­sage. And we must meet up some week­end… I’m hor­ri­bly bad at being reli­able at these sorta things, but promises…

    Msi­a­girl
    That’s beau­ti­ful, what you wrote, and so true too. I’m reread­ing this now and the truth in that rever­ber­ates in me. *hugs*

  • […] After­taste When­ever I eat out at our favourite kopi­tiam and the hawker man brings me my change, I rearrange my notes in the right order — ascend­ing, with the Agong’s face turned upwards. I do this now, uncon­sciously, auto­mat­i­cally, cos you’re not around to do it for me any­more. I used to find it so annoy­ing, but now… now I just miss it. […]

  • […] only the best parts of a rela­tion­ship renewed on the slow build­ing of fresh trust. It takes time, all good things do, I tell […]

  • shoot… jz realised i owe u dat pas­sage from tues­days wit mor­rie… =.=
    i hv hor­ri­ble memory…

  • @asstha: Oh gosh, this was THREE years ago? I totally for­got­ten about this… :P

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