KL Monorail, Kuala Lumpur: 5 months ago…
“Excuse me, do you speak English?”
Woken from my reverie on why public transport in the capital city was such an abysmal mess, I realised I was being addressed by a couple of tourists. A middle-aged couple, Americans, by their accent, perhaps even New York, though I couldn’t really be certain; I always sucked at geography.
“Yes,” I answered in all innocence and honesty.
“Could you tell us how to get to Must-Jeed Jam-Meek? We can’t figure out this confounded map.”
“Masjid Jamek? Sure,” I replied and then proceeded to demonstrate how it was a mere two stops away, in a straight line, just as their very simple and detailed tourist map clearly showed.
“Hell, that seems easy enough! Thank you, dear. Say, are you local? You don’t speak like a local. It’s almost as if English is your first language.”
“English is my first language. And yes, I’m Malaysian.”
“Really? You speak really well, dear.”
“Thanks. And may I ask, is English your first language?”
“Of course! What a question!”
They looked bemused.
“Oh, I don’t know. I would no more assume that a Caucasian would speak English as his first language than I would assume an Asian would not.”
They didn’t ask any more questions after that.
Odeonsplatz U-Bahn, Munich: 5 years ago…
She entered the train when it stopped at Odeonsplatz, at precisely17:40 as it was scheduled to. Subway trains in Germany always arrived on time, unless they did not (which meant they were early, and would wait till they were scheduled to depart).
I didn’t notice her at first, with the usual influx of passengers at this busy U-bahn station. Very soon though, I had to notice how, as everyone grabbed a seat, she remained standing even though there were plenty of seats free. She was in the centre of the carriage, but she did not lean against the pole, just held it. Her posture was straight and sure; she commanded attention.
She was also the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Imagine a younger, still sultry Sharon Stone mixed with the vulnerability of Brooke Shields. She had her blond locks tied back in a careless bun yet still she exuded glamour. And she was crying.
Well, not actually crying, only tears found tracks downwards across her cheeks. She stood emotionless but for the quiet weeping. I have never seen anyone cry in public quite like that before either. A quiet dignity and a quiet strength.
How do you comfort a stranger, when you can barely speak her language, when you are a stranger yourself in a country where most people don’t even socialise after work? I remember thinking, how much hurt she must be enduring to weep in public, in a country where emotions are mostly reined in.
Her beauty and her sadness, in an U-bahn filled with strangers, made me realise for the first time you didn’t have to be alone to be lonely. I wonder, is she still riding the subways somewhere, a silent weeping statue?
36 Comments
reminds me of the not so good ol days with ME when sometimes I have to put in some accent for - I don’t know for what reason exactly. LOL
“Oh, I don’t know. I would no more assume that a Caucasian would speak English as his first language than I would assume an Asian would not.”
oh, so very true! i wish i remember to say that every time someone told me i speak English well!
kinda harsh isnt mate? but then again, years ago i sill had ppl overseas asking me if malaysians had aircons and whether we were still staying on trees..
so did you ever go up to the girl?
@Monorail - goes to show that we are still being stereotyped…sigh…i had a similar experience while queueing to David in Florence. Since it was drizzling, i offered to shelter an old man He was stunned and proclaimed to his wife that i COULD speak english…haha! the mrs didnt know where kl was but the mr did. anyway, thought it was funny!
@the U-bahn - as helpless as you are, the only thing to do is to wish her happiness and pray for her.
cibol
Speaking of accents, I could write another whole post whining about how people around me claim I have an accent when I most assuredly do NOT. But. Enough bitching for now, methinks. Tis the season of love, no?
zona marie
Well, I was rather snarky that day… one too many encounters like this, I suppose. Thing is, I’m very friendly and helpful to most tourists anyway, but you’d think some of them would be more tactful with the things they say…
Then again, I’ve made many blunders of my own when travelling, such as using the informal form of German when asking directions from strangers on the street. (Hint: Use formal when you don’t know them. Like, really well. Like unless you’re sharing the same bed.
)
lotsofcravings
1 » Kinda harsh? Hey, no one ever accused me of being Mr. Nice Guy… (Well, actually several have, much to my discomfort, so this may be me rebelling, hahaha.)
I certainly remember going along with the living-on-trees bit when asked by some English soccer hooligans in Barcelona. I even described the different types of trees would denote social status…
(How did I know they were English soccer hooligans? They told me so themselves, that’s how… that and they almost beat up a Canadian backpacker whom I later met on the way to Paris, but that’s another story.)
You’ve gotta roll with it sometimes, bro, and just have fun with them. (If you can’t beat them, join them!)
2 » No, I never did go up to the girl. And never regretted it. It was a perfect moment, just like that. *wistful look*
Nic (KHKL)
1 » Did you check with him whether he really, really know where KL was? I had one Polish guy tell me once he did, which made me so happy until he added, “It’s the capital city of Singapore, right?”
Oy vey.
2 » Wasn’t exactly helpless, more of it wasn’t really any of my business. And I was distracted by the moment itself, too distracted to snap out of it and see if she needed any help, which, even if she did, wasn’t really the norm, in Germany anyway, to go up to a complete stranger and enquire.
But I did wish her happiness, or at least, simply not to be so sad anymore.
Indeed, it is so true…it is not advisable for us to go up a stranger and enquire if they need help, unless she is the one who initiate the conversation.
I had an experience…several years ago in a Church in Palo Alto, CA. Those were the days I am not yet a Christian, yet I am invited to go to a church service. She is sitting alone at the side and weeping in silence. Maybe, it is the same kind of situation where nobody should disturb anybody if they don’t know one another, especially in United State where they can simply bring you to court if you disturb their “privacy”.
However, there’s a prompting steering in my heart to go up to her, and I did. I didn’t ask anything but offer to give her a hug. She extended her hands and hold on to me for a while. As she weeps, gently she says…“thank you”. Then, she left the service and I never see her again. But, I always remember her and pray the best for her.
a snarky comment, but it’s the truth! i guess your tolerance level snaps when you’ve had one too many of them. then again, since they were americans… ^_~ hehe…
imeau
That’s so sweet of you, dear. Then again, I guess you’re not just my angel, but to others too.
I’ve no regrets not approaching that woman on the U-bahn, but I was also a very different then. The Kenny today, who knows? I might have gone over and asked if she was okay.
But I believe in “What is” not “What if” and that’s the only sane way to live a life. *hugs*
zona marie
Hehe, be careful now… it’s not just Americans or Caucasians… us Asians can be equally guilty of such stereotyping when travelling. But yeah, the look on their faces was priceless.
What a funny question they ask.. “do u speak English”…
Well we can’t blame them… Malaysia’s reputation is not as modern-like as what we assume to be… what more the name of our country would simply allow the tourists to mistaken it as a pure malay country with no english background. Can’t blame them. I am trying to move to Australia for a better standard of living there.
“I could write another whole post whining about how people around me claim I have an accent when I most assuredly do NOT”
i get this too!! LOL! and the “you speak english very well” comment from non-malaysians. i used to get annoyed but not anymore.
ha! love it! if you dont mind Im going to steal your line from now on
Nastasshea @ Nesh
I think the trick here is not to assume anything, whether it be tourists visiting our country or ourselves as visitors to other countries. Having said that, some knowledge about the land one is heading to does help, no?
Hmm, moving Down Under, eh? I’ll add you to the list of peeps to visit there then. (And isn’t this sooo Malaysian, just dropping by and crashing with friends or relatives abroad? Hehe.)
carrot
We just get used to it after some time, I guess. No point in getting jeezed off all the while, yeah?
nicolesulee
Steal it! Wrap it! With a cherry on top!
OHhhhh yyyeeeaahhh…..I am often quizzed about my capabilities in writing in English too. Sometimes they ask me again and again where I am from. One client spent weeks asking me if I was SURE I was born in Malaysia…..and I was “DDDUUHHHHHHH!!!! You want your article or not…let’s get on with life, friend!” and he replied, “OK OK OK….yeah, Malaysia….yeah….great. So….where did you say Malaysia was again?”
“No, I never did go up to the girl. And never regretted it. It was a perfect moment, just like that. *wistful look*”
Bull! Aw nuts, you should’ve said hello. Sometimes it’s all a person needs.
marsha
Malaysia is in Singapore, naturally. Or was it Thailand?
madcap machinist
No, no regrets. It was a perfect moment, like from the movies.
Five years later though, back in KL, I did say hello. And it was all I needed.
hi how-d’ye-do! 1st time stopover here - found good English penning.Shit! am just try to patch up my broken ABC.
*nods at Joe’s comment* …other than the do “you live on trees” part.. they always think that Malaysia is part of Singapore. “You mean Malaysia is a country?” And when I say yes, they will ask “Where?” North of Singapore. “But isn’t that Thailand?” *sigh*
picatho
How-dee-do-dee, pardner! Welcome to “Life for Beginners”!
teckiee
You mean Malaysia is a country?” And when I say yes, they will ask “Where?” North of Singapore. “But isn’t that Thailand?”
Oh gosh, I laughed so loud reading that I think my neighbours had an orgasm from the fright. (Headlines the next morning: “Blog Comments Cause Copulation!”)
No, Kenny, you definitely do NOT have an accent. No sirree.
Kenny,
Luckily no Caucasians go to you and ask, “Encik, kamu cakap Malay kah tidak?” hahaha!
Lyrical Lemongrass
That’s what I’m saying! No one gets it but you, dear! They…
… waitaminute …
You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?
Kok
Hahaha… if they did, I sure pengsan one…
Nice post… like how you connected the two events.
:LOL:
Kenny… You do speak with a bit of accent…
Sharanya
Thanks, dear! Hey, you’ve got a new blog address! Cool. Hope you’ve been holding up well. *hugs*
asstha
I am so ignoring that. *sticks tongue out*
Eh.. I beh tahan people with accent one leh! Hahahahha! Once , a friend just got back from Scotland; she had been there for only 6 months and came back with a heavy Scottish accent - kena tiau from me ok! Hahahhaha!
gina
Hehe, I’ve got a friend who affects a Irish accent unintentionally every time she tries to put on her Indian accent… don’t ask me how she screwed it up so badly, hahaha…
Yeah — time for a fresh start. Do update your links.
Sharanya
Consider the link updated. Merry Xmas and Happy Hols, dear.
Hahaha…I used to get that all the time on the BTS stations in Thailand. Was actually thinking of getting a part time job as a Lost Tourist ‘helper’…Heheheh
unkaleong
Haha, maybe we can both apply now to be KL’s Two Official Lost Tourist Helpers… better than Santa’s Little Helper, no?
first stumble into your blog, assuredly not the last. =)
your exchange with this foreign couple is one that i personally have experienced too many times to count. and perhaps it may come across a touch snarky and defensive, but puhleeease! i’ve lived in canada all my life, and it just.isn’t.fair that i should be questioned on “where am i *really* from”, and not be able to ask the same of the asker.
P.
Hahaha… I know what you mean. I had the same problem when I was living in Europe. People kept mistaking me if I was from Japan or Korea or Vietnam or whatever Asian country that they could think of at the time.
Oh well… if we can’t beat them, just join them (like I did).
Thanks for dropping by!
Another great reading!
I was clicking away at cibol’s blogroll and glad I did! Sure will be back from time to time to your blog 
I’ve been told that I speak English well too many times by foreigners, and it’s easier to take it as a compliment than to be annoyed. Truthfully, I write better than actually speak the language! Hehe
About living up in the trees thingy, heck, I was asked the same question by a fellow Malaysian in Johor, sad but true! “Orang Sabah tinggal kat atas pokok eh?” My answer? “Ya, tapi tak guna tangga, guna lif!” And he was actually dumbstruck by the “fact”! *rolls eyes*
-MB-
Thanks for dropping by!
I love your answer with the lift! HILARIOUS.
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