Norman Rockwell’s Family Dinner
T’was the season to make merry and to feast on the best (and the beasts, if you’re a carnivore like me), to spend the warm and soft hours with your loved ones and to be content and at peace. T’was the season for family dinners, joyous reunions not very unlike a Norman Rockwell painting. A piece of picture-perfect perfection.
That is, of course, if you had a normal family to sup with. My normal family is back home in Malacca. I’m here in the big city, all alone. Well, almost all alone. I’ve a family here too, of misfits and miscreants, of lonely hearts and single friends, all of us far away from our flesh and our blood.
The Family. (I believe I may have mentioned our ragamuffin crew once or twice before. Ahem.)
Anyway, Nisa got it in her head that we would all sit down to a family dinner on Christmas Eve and she would cook it. Now this is alarming, not because she is a bad cook (far from it, she’s a genius in the kitchen) but simply because The Family doesn’t exactly have the best track record in organising dinners and parties. To put it kindly, to even suggest having one is to court Disaster. And O how we trembled!
But we are nothing if not staunchly loyal to fellow Family members, and so we are all behind her. Of course, the ‘all’ in this case kept shifting numbers. Firstly, it was just gonna be the usual suspects — Nisa, Henny, Jason and me. Except Jason wasn’t sure if he’d make it. Then we added Josh (cos Henny wanted to go for mass at his church after the dinner) and his giddy gal pal Marina (who just so happens to be my oldest friend of the entire bunch). Ellyne was unavailable. (Darn.) Then we added Alfred and Mun Wai. And then Mun Wai pulled out. Jason was still an unknown factor. Last minute, Nisa decided Alvin would entertain us with his witty repartee…
Confused yet? Me, I’m unsure of the final tally of the guestlist even now.
Then comes the actual preparation. Naturally, we offered to help but Nisa insisted she had it all under control. Besides, we were working while she was already on leave for the rest of the year. (Lucky, lucky lass.) Completely under control. Which meant, come Christmas Eve morn, she called me up to get the roast chicken. For if she got it, it’d be too early. Then Henny emailed me and asked me to get my favourite snacks. Alfred was gonna make mashed potatoes so I figured I’ll get this while shopping with him. And then a text message for lemons. Another one a few minutes later, this time for french loaves. Butter came next. And just as we were about to exit the hypermart: “Get me parsley. Or everything’s ruined.”
(The Family is nothing if not very drama.)
Any guess what happened next? Yup. Every hypermart within the vicinity ran out of damn parsley.
Arriving at Henny’s house later, with the rain accompanying us, I realised we weren’t a moment too soon. Nisa was now a near-complete wreck. (Not getting your parsley will do this to you.) The lamb stew was more of a lamb soup. There wasn’t any cutlery in sight. Alfred’s potatoes were taking forever to boil. Jason (who was coming after all, hooray!) was nowhere in sight and he was in charge of all the drinks and ice. And Henny, uhm, Henny was all dressed up and wondering why we haven’t signed the guestbook. Uhm, priorities, people.
Comes Damage Control Kenny to the rescue. (Yes, it’s my less-than-secret identity.)
Lamb soup turns to stew if one adds milk leftover from the mashed potatoes. Of which we set aside a portion of milk-free mash just in time, remembering somehow that Jason was lactose-intolerant. (Of course, this now meant he couldn’t have the stew, but surely you can’t expect me to keep track of where all the dairy products went, right?)
I got the plates out (seven in total, five in different designs and sizes from the other two, but we’re crazy this way) and found some cutlery (seven spoons, two forks and three knives; do the math yourself, folks).
At this point, I had Nisa calling “Kenny! I think the lamb stew is burning!” and Henny going “Kenny! Is the bruschetta ready?” and then Alfred went “Kenny! —” and I turned and went, “WHAT?”, to which he answered, “Nothing, just joining in.”
(Breathe, Kenny, breathe.)
Yes, dear readers, it was that sort of night. Family dinner fiddlesticks. Why couldn’t we have gone to McDonald’s instead?
Marina and Josh arrived after going on a fruitless parsley hunt (mixed metaphors much, no?) but loaded with good wine and good cheer. Jason miraculously appeared, with plenty of ice and drinks (and Nisa forced him to wash the dishes after, something I normally resigned myself to doing cos everyone else was too lazy to do it — it really was Christmas! for me!)
The food was perfect — crisp bruschetta with a garlic/tomato/onion salsa, the creamiest mushroom-and-ham mashed potatoes this side of Dublin, a verdant and well-marinated pasta salad, replacement roast chicken (turkeys are so last Christmas), an OJ-and-vodka punch for everyone, and what else did I miss?
Oh yeah. The lamb stew. I saved it. I burned it too. But most of the guests graciously confessed it was merely smokey and ladled it generously over their mash.
See, friends are those who not only ignore your mistakes, but celebrate it too. That and a strong dose of personal denial can cure anything. Even our Family dinner. It was almost a disaster. But not quite. Instead, it was the best fun we’ve had in ages, the imperfections making the night quite simply perfect.
Family dinners. Maybe they ain’t so bad after all.
haha gosh u must be so glad that xmas is over!
not that i dont feel your pain but the way you put it is soo funny!!
i still have a big pot of soup sitting in the fridge left over from xmas dinner.
sounds like a very fun night… look on the bright side… though the stew was a bit burnt in the end, i am sure the thrill and the fellowship was worth it… no?
Merry Belated Christmas Kenny…
Lol! Definitely a dinner to remember. U voluntarily do d dishes? Hey, u will be a permanent guest if there’s any dinner parties at my place.
nicolesulee
Hehe, I love Xmas, but yeah, I am sorta glad all the fuss and foaming is over. (Though we’re heading to A Very Retro Xmas tonight with the foodbloggers, which will be super-duper FUN.)
If it’s any indication of the success of the party though, there were barely any leftovers, hehe.
zewt
It’s all about the Thrill and the Burnt Stew. Serious. Merry belated Xmas to you too, bro.
Tummythoz
Yeah, I do… I’m the only one who can be bothered to normally, and I’m too anal to leave them till the next day. Icks. So I get invited a lot because of this, haha.
It’ll be one dinner to remember. You had fun, hopefully. That is all that matters. Cheers to the new year!
Aah sounds like the dinner parties that I throw, except that the conversations happen with me and myself. No family mah.
cibol
O most assuredly fun was had, plenty of it, ho ho ho. New Year cheers, bro!
Lyrical Lemongrass
Well, my dear, it was one heckuva dinner party you threw last nite (together with PreciousPea & WMW), and nothing remotely even smelled like disaster lah…
And what do you mean no family? Got your real family, your foodbloggers, your makan gang @ work, and then there’s this lovable chap who just won the Most Flirtatious Blogger last nite… Ahem.
hahahah! nothing like a little bit of kitchen drama to spice up dinner ;p
Drop by to wish u hapi new year!!!!
teckiee
Kitchen drama? What makes you think the drama was limited only to the kitchen, dear?
FireHorse
Hapi Noo Ear to you too, dear!
*big hugs from kenny*
Eh… to avoid such problems for cooking, we usually ask everyone to ta pao something, so we could save time for cooking. To avoid too much washing up, we use paper plates and cups. Yes — we are parties veterans. We hardly have disasters in parties.
yr imperfect big family dinner was all fun and full-filling ?
need more of those !
happy new year !
Gina
Oh but there is nothing quite like cooking up special dishes on our own… adds a touch of something homey and festive, yes? And using proper china makes us feel like adults… almost. Hehe.
team bsg
It’s the imperfections that make them so very perfect… for me.
Definitely need more of those. Happy, happy new year!
Happy Holiday and Happy New Year.. Kenny..! thanks for dropping by my blog.
and leaving insightful comments.. 
Nice to meet you Kenny!
Wanna wish you… Happy New Year! Didn’t get to greet you this that night
ah… family gatherings are what I heart most! ;P
and… Congrats on your title! you earned it! haha.
Err.… put this into a movie! Can’t help thinking of Mr. Bean in one of his movies where he messed up the roast turkey.
Oh, Happy New Year 2008 to you!
Mama BoK
Insightful? My comments? You must have me confused with another Kenny Mah.
Christine
Did I earn my title? I still think it was a mistake… I’m so not the Most Flirtatious Blogger. The Most Shy Blogger got lah… Hahaha…
Alice
I would make a good Malaysian Mr. Bean, no? Hehe.
Happy Happy Happy New Year, ladies!
merry belated xmas, kenny!
despite the hecticness of everything, it sure sounded like you guys had a whole lot of fun!
“and then Alfred went “Kenny! —” and I turned and went, “WHAT?”, to which he answered, “Nothing, just joining in.”” — ROFLOL. that’s cute ^_^
well, “i’m lovin’ it” wouldn’t taste as wonderful as your bruschetta and mash, would it? a great dinner, i’d say…but what do i know, i’m not the cook. haha! great job, Kenny.
Zaty
We did have loads of fun. I think it was because of the hecticness and madness, rather than in spite of it.
My Family. They sure are cute. And major pains as well. But mostly cute.
Nic (KHKL)
Hehe, nothing beats home-cooked food, that’s for sure. Even when it gets slightly burnt (accidentally). Cos it’s made with LOVE and not-so-tender loudly chaos (TLC?)… hahaha.
But knock “I’m lovin’ it” … it’s the stuff my love life is made of, ahem.
And I’m sure you’re a great cook, if only we ever get a chance to sample your fare. When har? Hehe.
Glad to hear everything turned out well! All that madness is fun though!
Hi Kenny, this reminds me of Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City — perhaps you could finally turn some of your writings into a book about twenty-somethings in big city KL.…?
wokandspoon
Madness = Fun. Most definitely in my house, hahaha.
Yang-May Ooi
Hey, dear. Happy Lunar New Year to you… and thank you. That is one of the nicest compliments I’ve received ever. I doubt I’d ever stray near Maupin’s easy brilliance with his character’s conversations though…