Playing Monopoly can teach you a thing or two. Well, Monopoly, a large packet of Ngan Yin (Cap Tangan!) groundnuts and plenty of Polish vodka. Heh.
Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s rewind a little, shall we? Came the weekend and the Diva was bored out of her mind. So the first week of the brand spankin’ new year has almost passed us by. Are we still making resolutions or has that activity become a fresh history as well?
But it was too late in the night for those sort of questions and the Diva wanted her alcohol. And so I supplied, mixing the last of Manuel and Gosia’s wedding vodka with the Indonesian lemon concentrate Datin left from the last time The Family gathered at my abode. And the Diva wanted to play board games and we settled on Monopoly since we both know I’d whoop her ass at Pictionary (and how exactly do we play that with just the two of us?) and Trivial Pursuit just didn’t gel with a night of promised inebriation.
There we were, cracking open them groundnuts and cracking up the way we normally do, and I mentioned to her something Alfred had said to me the previous night, something casual that unnerved me more than I’d like to admit:
“Kenny, you don’t ask enough from other people.”
And this came after an earlier bit where he said sometime along the lines of me giving too much of myself away to everyone else. Now normally I’d brush something like this off as hogwash and buttermilk but he’s not the first to tell me this. That’s the problem. Nearly everyone I know who is close to me, whom I trust and love, has told me more or less the same thing.
So, what do I do? The only sensible thing I could do: put it upon the wise and loving laps of the Diva, a drunken sage after half a goblet of faux-limoncello.
Now, alcohol does wonders for palm-reading and colourful splays of cards (not Tarot, but Mono-property) but not so much for the answers you may want to hear. For, after pondering it a moment (meaning I had to nudge her awake from her booze-buzz), the Diva came back with the answer: “He’s right.”
He’s right? They’re right? What the what?
It just don’t make no sense to me. Here I was, a guy who self-admittedly was a bit of a self-absorbed, self-centred, selfish ass in his youth (who am I kiddin’, I was a major ass), and now you guys are telling me I am for all purposes and intentions — too NICE?
Figures. I’m one who believes totally in moderation and the middle path and all that sensible, uhm, sense — but darn it if it ain’t tough to execute. Somehow I’ve gone from one extreme to the other — I can still recall the sting of the Lady calling me Mother Teresa when I told her I was gonna still be friends with my Ex after the painful break-up and even planned to go out for a meal with my Ex and the guy my Ex is currently dating.
(And no, I still don’t see what the big deal is… I’m not Bruce Willis and they aren’t Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher… yet.)
What if they’re all of them right, though? What if I am focusing too much on the people around me, and not enough on myself? I’m no saint but now I fear I may well be a bit of a sap. Why else do I find myself exactly where I started, even after changing for the better? Everything new is old again. It all cycles, somehow. Where do we find the balance in our lives, that place where we both give and take enough?
Do we have to become SELF-centred in order to become centred?
34 Comments
I will give you my verdict abt whether you are being too nice, at the end of this year, the year where my resolution is to know you better
Deal?
There’s no ‘the right balance’, Kenny. There’s ‘I’ll do what’s best for me’ and ‘I’m too old to subject myself to other people’s whims’ and ‘Do I really want to spend time and effort on people who are not going to play a big role in my life (in future)?’
Think of your time, energy and emotion as very limited commodities - maybe that’s what your friends are saying?
Firehorse
Wow. I guess someone still has her resolutions… to get to know me better? A dangerous proposition… for you. But yes, deal!
Argus
Maybe… I love how you put it though: “I’m too old to subject myself to other people’s whims.”
But methinks you’re right about what my friends are saying…
Sometimes, yes. There is a point when you give too much of yourself and you end up hurting yourself. But one shouldn’t be so self centred as to think that the world revolves around him/her!
I’m glad you still have a friend in the-Ex and can even go for a meal with her latest beau. Perhaps one day I will have the same strength to do that with You-Know-Who?
the way i see it, a person is most comfortable being who they are. so wat if u’re being “too nice”? if u’re comfortable with that, tht’s all that matters. of course, the problem with being “too nice” is that u get taken advantage of most of the time, but u’re smart, and u learn fast, rite?
LOL, “danger” is my middle name, for you I am willing to risk it. Hehe i belip it will be quite a pleasurable experience for me
me no understand what is self-centered bcoming centered la..
1 question though..how can 2 ppl play monopoly??? so boring!! even with alcohol..although she does look very “high”..
Oh Kenny darling.. don’t sweat it too much. That’s what this thing called living is all about - swinging from one extreme to another before landing somewhere in the middle. Then as time passes, you realize that you’d need to readjust that “middle” yet again!
Enjoy the ride!
p/s yes, loved how Argus puts it too.
2 person monopoly? O.o
giving is taking…so, it’s always about taking. you give something in order to take something. consciously or sub-consciously, we “take” something from giving…it’s not being selfish but that’s how the human mind is trained (theoretically)…perhaps you find satisfaction and comfort in putting others ahead of yourself…which is a good thing, btw. that’s life, bro. at the end of the day, we just want to do things that make us happy.
so, carpe diem, i’d say!
Piggles
“Perhaps one day I will have the same strength to do that with You-Know-Who?”
Perhaps. But you don’t have to. Not really. Whatever feels right, you know, feels right. There’s some comfort in finally realising that there is only so much of ourselves we can change before we become a completely different person (which may be a good thing or an utter disaster).
Anyway, the idea here is not to become egoistic but more of focusing on oneself, on one’s one welfare and physical/financial/emotional upkeep first. Ain’t it so?
Jun
“the problem with being “too nice” is that u get taken advantage of most of the time, but u’re smart, and u learn fast, rite?”
I don’t think I’ve ever been taken advantage of, though The Family may beg to differ. But I’m smart, and I learn fast? I think it’s a negative on both counts, dear.
But yeah, I think I’ll continue being who I am, since that’s someone I’ve been for awhile now. I’m kinda sentimental this way.
Firehorse
Hehe… “danger” is your middle name? Mine is “pleasurable experience”…
lotsofcravings and jason
Yeah, 2-person Monopoly! I don’t even like the game but playing it with the Diva can be very amusing… like trying to remember who owns which property and cursing each other and the Bank as we get closer and closer to bankruptcy.
The damn drunk woman won, of course.
ezura
Thanks, dear. You’re always such a brick.
And this seems to be one of them “middle-readjustment” periods again. O swell. Might as well enjoy the ride, as you put it.
Nic (KHKL)
“at the end of the day, we just want to do things that make us happy.”
You’re a wise man, bro. What are you drinking?
(Okay, so not everyone needs alcohol to gain some semblance of sagacity…)
—
Bah!
I’m still friends with all my ex’s … well the ones that will still keep contact with me.
*shrugs* but I won’t say I didnt at least try to be keep being friends even after the fact :p
It’s nice to see how they (ec’s) keep along the years after we’ve parted from a relationship and can still have a decent cup of coffee with ya.
—
Well, only when you start feeling tired of giving. That’ll be when to stop being nice :o)
G
It doesn’t have the end with the relationship, no.
wmw
Yes. I just wonder if I’ll be able to do that even then… Hmm.
I would say putting others ahead of yourself is… “selfless”. Sometimes, i just don’t understand. Being nice? sometimes i tried to be, but giving out doesn’t seem to work all the time. I had a friend who’s always selfless. Too self less i would say; most ppl said he’s just being stupid.
and.. i’m happy now 
anyway, I wouldn’t wanna be selfless, but I’ll still be nice
hahahahahah Kenny is always nice, am I right? I am right.
lucky indeed to be lapped by the gorgeous slanting diva , if upright can move more tall hills ( bsg included )
Christine
“Selfless” or “self less”? Dear, I think you’re confusing poor Joe even further than I am!
But I get your point… one can still being nice without giving too much of oneself away.
Big Boys Oven
Are you right? Sometimes I can be naughty too… hehe.
team bsg
Whoa. That’s, uhm, poetic. Like a Chinese verse. And like a Chinese verse, me no understand-o…
Claim you are too nice? Guess good friends are just looking out for u. As long as you are comfortable & happy, just be-lor. A bit of track, remember those old tearjerker movies where right is right wrong is wrong no action/character is ever grey? I always want to strangle those heroes, heroines aka crybabies.
How about some keropok, and KAKA? Hmmmm….if you don’t know what KAKA is, it should spell relief since it means you are not that old afterall :O
I think some pple become SELF-centered in order to find themSELVES! If not, they become lost without that “GPS” ?
very complicated post lol. for throwing the question to us, i guess you are not self centred after all and you care what people think but yeah, sometimes don’t have to care so much. what is the balance? well, when you feel good inside, that’s the answer loh. cheerios!
I know … you could be a learn to be a great househusband this year!
And I could learn to type slower so I don’t have to go back on every line and correct half the spellings in my words in the sentence!
(( random ))
Tummythoz
Life is all about the grey… there are so few black and white rules, and just when we think we’ve got it all figured out, something comes and bites us right back in the ass!
In fact, thinking about it, you can strangle them crybabies… and I’ll just bite their asses… nicely.
tigerfish
Ouch. I don’t know what KAKA is… must be some good ol’ fashioned yummilicious snack, eh?
GPS?
Yeah, I guess we all need that to find ourselves. Heh.
Foodielianne
And I’m getting there, dear… I’m all about feeling good inside.
G
I wish!
finally! i have been seeing your name everywhere but have no sense to drop by your blog-and boy am I glad I did.
Life is about change-or how we want change and adapt to change. Perhaps it’s time to ask yourself whether do u think that is right for u! =)
if all else fails, settle in with a good packet of ground nuts and breathe!! maybe it will become clearer! ;p
Most trying to think about how they can make a difference in their life, yet…they ignore the small daily differences they can make which, over time…add up to big differences that they often cannot foresee.
Everything you do is fine, so long you felt comfortable with them. Stereotype isn’t a compulsion ^_~
You hold the key to your own happiness.
Hey bro,
since you’ve been missing.
Just to let you know that I’ve moved my blog to a new place. once in a while I will still be at wordpress but most of the time at the new place. Just to let you know. Oh, ya. Come back real soon.
cheers,
cibol
A Life Less Ordinary
http://cibolution.com
Lol. I shall dub her as Aunty Diva!
Does she knows that you have her picture here. Note to Kenny: Next time invite me along for drunken Monopoly!! 
daphne
If all else fails, a packet of ground nuts? Sage advice that. Add a drunk Monopoly Girl to the mix, and plenty of alcohol, and methinks we have a party on our hands!
imeau
“You hold the key to your own happiness.”
And every day, I try to turn this key. One day I’ll find the lock that fits, dear. I believe this more than anything.
cibol
I love the name… Cibolution!
Atifi
Aunty Diva? O she is so killing you… You dead. You so dead, girl…
Monopoly is a game i love!!!
Actually, it doesn’t really matter what others think of us, whether we enjoy who we are and what we do is what matters most.
Cheerios!
Lol. She can’t kill me! I’m the lovable *coughcoughyeahrightcoughcough* girlfriend of that boy housemate of hers!
(who cooks too)
Jojo
Couldn’t agree more, and as you can read from my latest posts… I’m all about the Enjoy!
Atifi
Right… No comments.
Heya Kenny,
Try Supernuts Garlic flavored. Superb!
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