‘Couple on the Beach’ by Bianca de Blok
Valentine’s isn’t about chocolates or sweet wine or red roses. Valentine’s isn’t about expensive restaurants that you’d have to make a reservation a year in advance simply to get a table (and this with “connections”).
Valentine’s isn’t about greeting cards — pink, cute and marshmallowy. Valentine’s isn’t about wearing a pair of couple T-shirts, with witty slogans or romantic proclamations.
Valentine’s is being back in your hometown for Chinese New Year, and finding out your parents have gone out for a date and won’t be back till way past midnight, so you stay up till 3am and wait for them like the disapproving son you are. Valentine’s is about wondering if you should give your Mom and Dad a curfew, or simply to remind them to use protection.
Valentine’s is reading a poem your friend wrote for her lover, when she is an ocean away from him, and there has been so much drama and difficulties but none of these matters, really, does it? Neither politicians nor passports can deny their passion, their wonders, their music, and finally, even the distance may melt.
Valentine’s is having dinner with your Ex and the New Beau, and realising it’s the most relaxed you’ve been after a long, mad week at work. He is funny, cute, witty, interesting, and most of all, good for your Ex. They glow together, and some of it rubs off on you. You are hopeful for them, and also, happily, for yourself. Love grows and love survives, in ways both astonishing and generous.
Valentine’s is chatting with your friends, listening to them, and have them lend an ear too. This is not simply communication, is sharing and caring enough to connect, to counsel and comfort, and be counselled and comforted in return. You tell them to take their time, and not to hurry, that it isn’t all about ambition or seeking approval, and when they tell you the same, it sinks in surely.
Valentine’s is a wife waiting for her husband at the airport after months away and holding him for what seems like forever when he arrives, just holding and holding on. No words exchanged; the silence carries all their longing. Valentine’s is a good man waiting for his younger brother to return from his tour around the seas, to settle on solid land, so he can look after him again, so that their parents may not need ever worry and have their reunion dinner be complete.
Valentine’s is about accepting who you are, finally. And passing this lesson on to others who need them. It’s about letting go and finding the joy in the everyday. In the anticipation, the infatuation, the delight, the silly thrills and the girlish giggles. The laughter you say I render in you, rolling and enthralled. Valentine’s is having my portrait drawn by you, for the first time ever (I can only ever remember drawing others, never been put to paper myself before).
Valentine’s is all about love, of course. All the hopes and dreams and passions and desires and the joy. O the Joy! Always, the Joy.
45 Comments
Oh, Kenny! I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day (only V-Day, in my ultra feminist teens). But you make me want to, this year. Happy Valentine’s Day in advance to you.
And am really touched by that which is better not discussed further in public forums. 
in the end, it is all about love
btw, gong xi fa cai
I love what you shared about your parents, long may it continue. I love it that you stayed up to wait for them. I love it that I know you can reach out at any time and have the gift of touching another person’s heart. Yes, you do it everyday. I love it that you can be happy with who you are, and share this contentment with any other soul who needs to learn this feeling. I love it that your joy continues my friend, and that now you have found it, will lift you past the ditches in life
Peace xx
Sharanya
I’ve never really been into the commercial side of Valentine’s Day (nor Chinese New Year, for that matter). I guess this is my shot at reminding myself (and perhaps a few others) of the essence of what is truly important.
And I’m hoping you wil be having a meaningful Valentine’s, in whatever form you can manage, dear. *hugs*
rokh
Yes, it is, isn’t it? I know some people may find this somewhat overly saccharine or sentimental, but what the heck — it’s TRUE!
Msiagirl
You’re the sweetest, dear. *hugs and kisses*
Aaaaww, lovely post! Happy Valentines Kenny!
How romantic! An apt reminder to not think of just cards and chocs and expensive dinners on Feb 14 but to remember that love doesn’t depend on holidays to be called love.
Magz
Happy Valentine’s to you too, dear!
Lyrical Lemongrass
“… love doesn’t depend on holidays to be called love.”
That’s exactly it. You got it, babe. *hugs*
Admit it Kenny, you’re just cheap! haha. But seriously, I think you hit the nail on the spot. But don’t u think that its the same for all the other holidays? Esp. mother’s day and father’s day. Surely our parents deserve to be loved and adored everyday anyway?!
Heya,
I clicked on your blog thru Carrot’s.
You’re absolutely right. Many people have a skewed (materialistic) perception on what Valentine’s day means these days.
“No roses or teddy? You don’t love me anymore!” Haiyo.
Btw, the comment you made about your parents is adorable
Happy V-day!
Paprika
Admit it? I never denied it, dear. Hahaha. But yeah, not just one holiday, or any day, but every day. Love is all around… if we can just see it and share it. (This is getting weird, this was supposed to be my anti-Valentine’s post, and I think it’s getting mushier by the comment, hahaha.)
Pixel
Thanks for dropping by!
And this made me laugh out loud: “No roses or teddy? You don’t love me anymore!”
Haiyo indeed. Have a Happy (Alternative) Valentine’s Day!
Heh.. Happy Valentine’s, Kenny.
The best Valentine’s day is the day we realised there’s love…
a reciprocation…
In an unexpected fashion…
Yet, is showered upon us everday…
nonsensical perhaps but i like to believe it…
anyway, happy valentine’s day lar!
you’re so spot on kenny. happy valentine’s day in advance to you and oh yeahhh… kung hei fatt choy too!
jason
Happy V-Day to you too, bro… Time to be both naughty and nice, hehe.
Nic (KHKL)
Not all that nonsensical, sir, not at all. Keep believing it…
babe_kl
Spot on? More like I’m breaking out in spots! So stress with work!
I’ll be nice, real nice…
such a sweet post, kenny
and my favourite line’s gotta be “Valentine’s is about accepting who you are, finally”.
happy valentine’s in advance! and happy CNY!! (15 days of CNY, so i’m not exactly late in wishing you hehe)
Nice post! Happy Valentine’s day!
Love everyday and everywhere!
jason
Oooh… how nice would you be now? Nice enough to be naughty?
carrot
Advance V-day and concurrent CNY greetings accepted with much pleasure, my dear. How weird is it that when you quoted that line I had to actually scroll up and see if I really wrote that? Hehe, getting old di…
moja
Yeah, just like my fav lyric from The Beatles — “Love, Love, Love…”
such a beautiful piece :). happy CNY and happy V Day kenny!
What the world needs now…is love, sweet love :o) Love that song. Everyday is V day!
Valentine’s is about giving your loved one a welcoming smile even though he/she is in a grumpy mood.
Valentine’s is about taking over some chore your loved one does every day because he/she looks pretty done for the day.
Happylly this time valentine is about a war for the love of hearts lovingly abused for 50 years
hahaha prepare for more loves in 21 days !
happy valentine Chinese new Epic Battlestar
year of the rat
cheers !
Hope you don’t die of diabetes hearing that this post is absolutely “SWEET” for another time. You know which part of this post made me smiled the most. And yes, the bit about your parents is timeless too.
I hope you have a great valentine’s day whatever you are doing. If not, you can bug gai-wong and me!
Cheers.
sc
Not half as beautiful as the people I write about and the people who read these pieces… *hugs*
wmw
Yes… It’s such a Borders/Starbucks-y song for me, but still… always puts me in a peaceful, loving frame of mind. Tee hee.
argus
Sounds like you better half knows exactly what Valentine’s should be, eh?
wizsurf
Thanks for dropping by! But, er, what’s this 50 years of loving abuse? Me so confused…
A Lil Fat Monkey
I’m immune to diabetes by now… it’s a job hazard, writing the stuff that I do. And oh I don’t think I’d be bugging either of you tonight, hehe… I’ve already had a very blissful Valentine’s morning…
Happy Valentine’s Day Kenny! This is a lovely post.
No, that was me. Hee, hee, hee. ;-P
He does the vaccuuming (how do you spell that?!) and takes out the trash. I’m a happy bunny.
Happy Valentine’s Day to u dear!
its been a year, eh? And it feels only lke yesterday tht we went out on a ‘date’ last year. Haha.. My, how the flies! May u hav a gud one this year! 
what a nice read!
hmmm curfew for parents and waiting as a disapproving son. that just made me burst out in laughter.
Happy V Day.
As usual you capture the essense of Valentine’s Day!!! Happy V Day my dearest friend, hugssss.
seowyin
Haven’t heard from you in ages, dear!!! Hope everything is great with you — Happy Vday and CNY too! *hugs hugs hugs*
argus
A happy bunny, or a naughty one? I’ve read your comments about me on your blog, hehe.
Spiffy
Hehe… Yes, we were on one last year, weren’t we? Thanks to a lovable, meddling matchmaker pal of ours. Hahaha. Wonder how she is now. This year though, I’m pretty certain we were both on very different sorta dates… hehe. *hugs*
keropokman
And that’s exactly the response I love to get in my readers — the LOL effect! Hahahaha…
Firehorse
Happy New Year!
Yup, Valentine is not about all that. But i slpt for 12 hrs on V day evening til tis mrng due to insufficient of sleep. Why? Was making gifts for my friends in school and my roommate.
Cheers!
Valentine’s is all about buying a box of chocolate for my mom, and washing my dad’s car.
Happy Belated Valentine’s Kenny. Good post there. Valentine’s Day should be felt from within, and reaching out to dear ones any way we can instead of riding on the commercialised arrangement out there.
And oh, Gong Hei Fatt Choy to you too
Have a blessed year.
Happy Valentine to you my friend. Since they say everyday is valentine so, it’s not too late to wish you that and also Happy chinese new year!
Cheers!
Valentine’s Day is waiting for the chocolates from hubby’s female colleagues. As you have read my last year’s post, it’s the reverse here.
teckiee
Wahh, you’re such a good daughter, leh! Mine was about chaperoning my folks… hahaha.
ImbiNithcy and cibol
Agreed, never too late for Vday … and romance!
Alice
Yes, I did! Wish I was in Japan and receiving chocs from all the ladies… hehe.
such a nice twist to the normal V-day-ish post… specially for ppl who r single like myself… akekeke… really put a smile on ur face…
i do believe it’s commercialised but i think, for once in my lifetime i’d like to do something special with that special person in my life. jz once…
hahaha… waiting 4 ur parents to come home. they more happening den us young uns no? even wen khai ma sent me a sms telling me her hubby surprised her by taking her out dis v-day put a smile on my face and seeing colleagues getting flowers/teddys jz sweet but don’t make me feel bad… at least i can share their joy…
my v-day was spent working rite up til 12am whilst squeezing in dinner wit the family and the 9th Lunar prayer thingy… family downstairs all hving fun, me stuck in my room working
oh well, at least it paid off. big boss sent me a thank u note for completing the job on such short notice..
take care! c ya soon :*
Nice post! Yup, it doesn’t matter whether is it V day or not, as long as couples treasure the love they have for each other.
I spent my V day Zzz…To recuperate from the lack of Zzz the two nights before. Was doing gifts for my friends in class.
asstha
Missed ya around, babe!!
And it sounds like you did something helpful to your company on Vday, so that’s great. You can always your lil on Vday another time, hopefully sometime soon, eh?
It’s especially great that you can share the joy of others — that’s the message I’m trying to put across here, hehe.
*hugs*
Jojo
Sorry for missing out your comments before; it got eaten in spam!
Yep, yep…it’s been ages too that i last saw her.. we’re on different dates alright.. yours went quite alright, i think…=D
mine was simple and sweet.. got a really nice surprise visit..V Day is more than just chocolates and presents, i’ve come to discover.. and it feels real good. *hugs hugs*
p/s: so you know, i’m still very much unemployed.. sighh..
Spiffy
Hehe, I think we both had great dates, and that’s what matters, yeah? Hooray for Romance!
*hugHUGhug*
P.S. I’ll continue to keep a lookout for ya, in fact will be calling you soon about a position…
Wow nicely drawn! Very nice picture!
Nastasshea @ Nesh
I think so too! I shall pass your compliment to the artist. I’m still well chuffed over my first portrait…
this is a very sweet post. i think the one that makes me smile the biggest was the one where the wife embraces the husband at the airport silently.
though i don’t celebrate valentine’s day now, i think the world needs more people like you =)
hope you had a good valentine’s.
Zaty
I’m glad that one made you smile; the wife in question is a close, dear friend of mine. And the world doesn’t really need more people like me; it just needs people to be happier and smile more often, is all. Life is good.
Incoming Links
Leave a Reply