I. Arrivals
I love airports.
They are the nexus between worlds, the centres where ley-lines of travel and commerce meet. (Whyfore then do we have ‘business’ class and ‘economy’ class if not for this? Money travels exceptionally well.)
Airports are also a waiting place, for us to renew friendships and family ties. Remember the airport scenes that bookend the film ‘Love Actually’? All those screams of laughter and warm tears of gladness, simple seconds before recognition and the heart is elated — she’s arrived, safe and sound, my baby’s alright — and fills up with indescribable joy.
There is so much love here.
And people. So many people. They pour out of the arrival gates like ants, first in a trickle (the scouts out to check if the coast is clear), then rapidly build up into a mad mass of heads and trolleys and giant suitcases (attack! attack!) till it’s difficult to separate them all.
“There! Is that her?”
“No, too gaudy. Rachel has better taste than that. Simple lines, clean colours. That one looks like an Ah Lian from Chow Kit.”
“Oh, there’s a whole bunch of them now. All Chinese girls.”
“The flight’s from Hong Kong, small wonder. Aiyo, so many… all long hair some more. Eh, help me out, I can’t handle them all; some are coming from the other end as well.”
Like ants. Like porcelain-faced maidens with raven-black hair. Like Jimmy Choo-strutting clichés from the Mystical Far East. So many, so many of them. How can one possibly differentiate one beauty from the next?
Soon enough though, the stream of passengers thin out. You and your colleagues would be the final ones to appear. (Your boyfriend, with whom I’m colluding on this little surprise, has sent me a text message informing me of this turn of events. Something about your colleague’s luggage getting stuck along the conveyor belt. Will be late, he tells me. All the better. Save the best for last, no?)
And then, you appear like a ray of light, in your yellow blouse and with your brilliant smile as always. You are a sunburst on a rainy Friday evening.
Chatting happily with your friends, you don’t notice me till I’m standing right in front of you with a huge wolf-eating grin on my face. I can’t remember if you screamed but I know you are surprised.
“Welcome home, my dear.”
Flabbergasted would be the term to use, no? Seeing how happy you were was worth the waiting and the devious planning. And for a second (perhaps even more unexpected) surprise I introduced you to the Devil Wears Prada. My sweet Angel meets my little Devil.
O how fortunate am I — a man surrounded by his dearest and his beloved! I couldn’t ask for more…
.
II. Departures
I hate airports.
People leave you here, or you have to leave them behind. Even if there is a return date, that moment seems an eternity away, when you desperately do not want to be apart. Separation is Hell — for family, for blood brothers or sapphic, sorority sisters, but especially for lovers. Young lovers, at that. Fresh and still bleeding from the melding of two hearts.
This is damn painful.
I don’t show this, any of this, though, I won’t allow it. Buck up, I tell myself, be a man and bear with it. Tough it out. All you see is my smile.
We head to the check-in counter after I’ve seen Rachel outside to where her boyfriend is waiting in his car. It’s your turn now, except you’re not arriving. No, you’re leaving. It’s just Melbourne and Sydney. It’s just a week or so. It’s no big deal.
But it damn well is.
There’s just enough time for dinner before you have to head in. We decide on KFC, something reasonably unhealthy so we can both bitch about our virtually non-existent widening waistlines. We order enough food to feed a small village. For a week.
It’s not enough to keep our mouths occupied though, and we talk and I tell you not to buy me anything, knowing very well you will ignore this. What else did we talk about? Nothing comes to mind except you staring at me and whispering, “You silly boy.”
You can see it in my eyes. I’m missing you already.
And how could I tell you about the week to come? The days are duller somehow, without you here. Work is fine but to come home to an empty apartment once more — how did I ever manage to live alone before? How I craved for my privacy and my sanctuary. Now everything is lifeless without you.
You will tell me about the sights and sounds of urban Australia, and it is all muffled by occasional rain and the constant awareness that we are not together. When you check into the new hotel in Sydney and find out they’ve given you a complimentary upgrade, all you can say is you wish I was there with you.
You wish you had cancelled this trip after all. I wish I had said to hell with work and gone with you instead.
How do I tell you that I come home at night and I sleep now on your side of the bed? I don’t know why I do it but it has your warmth somehow. (And I imagine, a couple of timezones away, you are doing the same, and we are connected somehow, together again.)
We count the days together. Five more days. Only four more to go. Three..?
When you had gone in, past the gates, I walked away to the trains, to head back to the city alone. Sitting in the cold and empty carriage, I am so tired I fall asleep almost immediately. And all I can dream of is returning to the airport in a week’s time, to welcome you home, to you and me.
.
Airport photographs by Nina Chantrasmi.
68 Comments
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Stacey Derbinshire
This reminds me of the days where I used to count the days for someone’s arrival. And this place would be my frequent destination then.
I must admit that I love airports too much. Especially the feeling of being excited to welcome your loved ones home. But when it comes to departures, it turns the other way around. And I hate that feeling.
I can relate to this post & just how you feel right now. Like totally.
hellow
Airports also brings to mind:
- shopping : with GST at little red dot at 7%, you save some dough by buying things here. (Changi)
- weighting yourself : i am always tempted to stand on the weighing machines where they weigh your luggage. LOL. (Changi, KLIA)
- makan : the last few trips sending people off and meeting when they arrive, we end up eating at the airport. (Changi, KLIA, Senai)
- makan 2 : the last few trips taking no-frills flight, you must fill up your tummy before the flight. Or you got to pay for expensive instant noodles! (Senai, Changi, Sandakan, Kuching, KKinabalu, Survanabhumi, Don Muang)
- suspect you of carry explosive : the airport staff ask if you can volunteer to take the test to see if you have explosive materials on your clothing and shoes. (kena 2 times in Kingsford Smith)
- total chaos : you absolutely do not know where to queue and can’t imagine that you arrive in UK with an airport that is so ‘ketinggalan zaman’. (London) Haha.. heard that T5 did not improve it!
- one building only? : that’s it ah you will say… you can see right through to the other end! (Senai, Bayan Lepas, KKinabalu, Perth Domestic, Sandakan, Kuching)
- declare your food : signs everywhere remind you of it! (Tullamarine, Kingsford Smith, Brisbane, Perth Intl)
- the airport’s closed : the plane flew too fast and arrived early, you have to sit in the plane and wait for the airport gates to open at 7 AM before you can go off the plane. (San Francisco)
- take a bus first, then your plane : the airport’s too pack, so the plane is parked far far away, so they packed up in a bus and drive you to your plane. (Survanabhumi, Narita)
- pay for airport trolley : wow, so high tech, swipe your credit card and the trolley slides out. but aint trolleys suppose to be free!?!?? (Tullamarine)
- friends can send you off at your seat : ok this is pre 9/11, your friends can escort you all the way to your airplane seat then say bye bye. then walk out the plane. (San Francisco)
Stacey Derbinshire
Thanks for adding me! Hope you continue enjoy reading ‘Life for Beginners’!
Eudora
I’m glad this piece connects to you so closely… it’s the paradox of airports… they are places for both arrivals and departures… welcoming loved ones home and seeing them leave…
But my baby will be coming home soon enough, so I’ll be heading to the Arrivals Hall next. And that’s a place I’m glad to be.
joana
Hellow back!
keropokman
Wowzers! Your comment’s practically a blog post by itself! And it’s hilarious! You should really post this, dude, you wanderlusty traveler you!
Wow you always love to blog so long eh? Hehehe!! So passionate!
we watched the terminal and found it intiguing , if not romantic. Yhey certainly have lots of interesting tales , yours should be one of the deep romantikas in 4 days ?
as i said earlier… u n zewt spook me out… =.=
wat a coincidence… too many in fact… i really hate departures too… i still remember the feeling wen he left… refused to send him off in fact… din even bother saying goodbye… all i told him was i’ll see u in a month’s time…
well… a month has come and gone… he had some initial hiccups so his flight was rescheduled… in fact… he was supposed to arrive yesterday morning at 8am… but he told me tues night dat he’s decided not to come back…
reading d arrival part gave me mixed emotions… one part of me remembers the anticipation of finally being to see him up close again… the other part… realising that it might not happen… *argh*… kenot tahan… but sharing ur happiness prolly will help me through it…
I felt that pain in Sydney airport…leaving my love..can’t really express how much painfull it was =(
I hate departure zone..
It’s here I gained freedom but lost love(s).
It’s here I left with hope and came back in tears.
It’s here I left in tears and came back with hope.
It’s paradox indeed.
Trips like these sure gets you lotsa “love mileage”, eh? Great!
Nastasshea @ Nesh
Hahaha, who said I always blog so long one? The two previous posts weren’t long at all; in fact they were very short!
But yeah, you’re right, I do have a tendency to write lengthier posts. I guess the words have a way of distracting me and making me go further than one should. Talk about verbal diarrhoea…
But it’s my blog, so…
team bsg
Make that in two days. Two more days till our little reunion!
asstha
People come and go, my dear, but we must hold out hope for them to return, and to return to us. Hope can be a desperate thing, but in our hearts, we know it is not; Hope is a deliverer, a salve to soothe our longings and our sadness.
I do hope he comes back to you. Whatever happens though, don’t let anything or anyone pull you down. Remember you’re always the sweetest girl… in someone’s eyes… make that someone yourself, dear.
*hugs*
cioccolata
My dear, it can never be easy leaving someone. I know that pain, though not your pain. I pray that you are able to replace the departure zone that you hate with the arrival gates and the one you love.
Nic (KHKL)
Ah, my brother, we should sit down some day over several cups of hot green tea and talk about love lost and found. We are likely kindred souls, you and I.
Let’s start with your sakura blossoms…
P.S. What ‘love mileage’? Mana ada?
ohh love this post..although i nvr had to be in that situation when you hated the airports..airports is all about the gateway to something new..holiday..uni..work i suppose (if you treat JB as somewhere new and exciting)..
i remember when for my first trip to HK, i hate the departure area coz im gonna leave my mom behind. but after a month of staying there, I am looking forward of the HK airport to see my love ones again..
Nice one.. enjoy reading it
ur the only blogger i know with ppl leaving poetry in ur comments… wah, why is everyone so romantic? lol.
lotsofcravings
Oh I’ll treat JB as somewhere new and exciting, heading down there next weekend with The Devil Wears Prada. Any recommendations for good eats there?
equilibrium2008
Yes, it’s always a bittersweet affair with the airport, isn’t it? The ones we leave behind vs. the new friends we will make wherever we will go. Travel (or at least, affordable travel) is one great leveller of the distance between people.
Neil
Hey, the poetry-in-comments didn’t start here! You should go worry Nic (KHKL), Lyrical Lemongrass and FatBoyBakes on this! I totally blame them.
ah.. JB is next to Singapura! You can come and eat here! LOL…
I like and hate airports as well!
Well, used to like airports since it meant vacations, holidays…but too much traveling has made me hate airports now + plus those restrictions in carry-on items, need to take fingerprints (now all 10 fingers in some US airports…dunno when they start toe-printing…blah!)….it’s just so tiring! and I hate those!
If not, I still like airports - arrivals or departures!
i hate (long) transits, cafes/restaurants in the airport, and bf getting me some soooo not romantic gift from airport’s souvenir shop ><
Thanks for that wonderful comment Kenny.. I’ll say it’s better then the one u left in my blog
It made me smile…
I do so love your lengthy post so don’t ever stop with the words diarrhea k??? *hUgS*
yeah, that is why sometimes, i cant blame them why people hate airport that much hehe..
Definition of “love mileage”: all that longing and anticipation gotta be worth something when the lover returns…supernova! Ya, we all so romantic wan.Have a lovely weekend coming up!
ah. memories. the tears of joy and sadness at the same time. I remembered. The ambivalence of airports and emotions.
keropokman
Hehe, I will be heading to Singapore too, in addition to JB. Who knows, might bump into you and the other food bloggers based in the Lion City?
tigerfish
All TEN fingers? Whatever for? Are they expecting nefarious passengers to do a Doc Frankenstein and cut/splice digits from another’s hand and graft it on their own? *shivers*
kampungboycitygal
Hahaha, oh that is a so-not-subtle hint to kampungboy to get you better gifts the next time he travels.
asstha
Well, I replied your comment here before hopping over to your blog, dear, so forgive me the difference in tone. Do go whichever makes you happier…
And thanks for the encouragement; I guess I will go on with the verbal diarrhoea after all.
equilibrium2008
Yeah, but we should also hold out hope that there will be a reversal of fortunes at the airport, that those who leave will return too.
Msiagirl
Supernova? Woo hoo! Dontcha know it, girl! We talking about da love thang…
Will have a fab weekend, dear, esp. once my lil Devil comes back… No worries about that, haha.
daphne
Well, I do hope there are more tears of joy than sadness in your life, dear. *hugs*
yeah, dont worry, i am looking forward to see airport again this september.
btw, can we exchange link?
equilibrium2008
This September? Hmm, I wonder what awaits you?
P.S. No problemo on exchanging links, just include your url in your next comment. My Bookmarks page (of blog links) have been taken off for the moment as there are too many broken links and many new blogs as yet unlinked. Some housekeeping will be done once I’m done with this humongous project at work, hopefully by June. *fingers crossed*
hmm someone who will makes me feel complete
mine is http://equilibrium2008.wordpress.com
Ah-Ha! So this is the post that inspired Joe! I was telling him, last Friday i was at the departure hall to send off my sis, bro-in-law and nephew. Trying to hold back my tears as usual, but ended up crying like mad. SO EMBARRASSING!
I don’t understand. Are u sending off and picking up the same girl? Than how come she got a boyfriend too?
I find airports intriguing as well because it’s the first thing you see when you come to a new place. it’s the very place that gives you the first impression (except for the bird’s eye view from out of the plane’s window lah). Very important place for a country….pity there was heist in ours recently. Malaysia’s KLIA among top 10 airports in the world, damn proud of it!
equilibrium2008
That’s great! Here’s to September coming sooner and the two of you meeting again! *hugs*
Precious Pea
Where got embarrassing one? Wait till this Sat nite; it’d be my turn… hey, even grown men can weep, right? … Right? Right? Er…
maymay
No lar. In Part I, the “you” refers to my Angel, the lovely Rachel, whom her boyfriend Jefery was picking up from the airport. I was there to send off the Devil Wears Prada (the “you” in Part II), so I went a few hours earlier so I could surprise and welcome Rachel home.
Two different people, two different parts. Same day. Same airport. Geddit? No? (Aiyo, this is what I get for writing in the second person…)
marsha
I’m so with you on that one. I am very proud of KLIA and having travelled quite a bit, I dare say very few can compare to it.
For a minute there I was all confused over who Rachel and ‘you’ were. But that’s just blurry me.
Oh, to miss your beloved is so bittersweet, ja? Time for pillow sniffin’ and all the rest of the mushy stuff, heh heh.
argus
Naw, don’t beat yourself over being confused over who ‘you’ was, considering there is two of them, and I do seem to prefer the second person perspective of writing… It’s surprisingly more natural to me than the traditional third person. Of course, this isn’t purely second person; it’s more of a mash-up between first and second? More of first person, but still…
But bittersweet? Perhaps. No mushy stuff. I just release any mopey-ness I may have by blogging. You readers will just have to bear with me, oh the patient lot that you are.
You have lovely and interesting posts here. I love airports too, they make the endless list of the things I love in life. Your begining words about airports are quite poetic, are u a poet?
elvis
Thanks for leaving such a lovely comment!
But no, I wouldn’t consider myself a poet; poetry’s really not my thing, though of late I’m beginning to return to a familiar appreciation of the form. I know plenty of rockin’ poets though, if that counts?
oh, the love-hate relationship with airports! tell me abt the joy of return, and the agony of separation, and i’ll tell u abt the yearning to be home, to fly back into his arms once again…
Wow..!! you very the cheem..!! i had to read it again..
hi kenny, i dont think i still have something to look forward this sept. he just broke up with me about an hour ago.. he said he was too pre-occupied with a lot of things and he is not giving me enough time.
Jun
O do, do tell me about it, dear…
Mama BoK
Where got very the cheem? Just have to read slow-slow lor…
equilibriium2008
Oh dear. Are you okay? *hugs*
Used to hate airport with all those separations and love lost.
Now i just can’t wait to fly away. Time to break away n i’m glad i made it.
xiulongbao
I know what you mean, to some extent. I believe it’s important to break away and let go… before we can move on with our lives (which may or may not include fresh love, longer-lasting one hopes).
Eternal optimist that’s me: Never Give Up, Never Surrender!
We can arrange to ‘bump’ into each other if you do come down. You should have my email add from the admin portion of the comments. ;-P
keropokman
Hahaha, you got me there. Will email you my contact and let’s see if the accidental ‘bumping’ happens…
“You can see it in my eyes. I’m missing you already.
And how could I tell you about the week to come? The days are duller somehow, without you here.”
I want to cry.
wah, lurve Msiagirl’s definition of love mileage…supernova, yupe!
hey, when are you coming over to sg??? facebook me lar if you are coming…am having exams soon but can still squeeze out some time…(that’s just an excuse for me to “curi makan”)…haha!
Finally…I manage to find some time out to put my note here….
What you did at the arrival hall…simply lovely
What you did at the departure hall…simply silly
^_~
You are lovely and silly…because you love
And love is the only gift…you gained in return
Hug*
I am the one who is traveling most of the time. After too much traveling, especially that long hour traveling is killing me. If I would have a choice, I hope scientist can really work on the “Teleport” so I can get to the destination without “flying”.
Beside, I prefer to have someone welcoming me home, rather than sending me off. I will cry. So, most of the time, I went to airport alone…never say goodbye http://imeau.wordpress.com/2007/12/17/never-say-goodbye/
Hey I like airports too but hate them if they get too big :S
just imagine, the check in gate is located at the very end of the airport and there is only 15 minutes left before the plane leaves!
trying to be okay… just trying to say everything i want to say in my blog though.. but i know i will be alright soon
thanks la. 
Hey
Great blog
Beautiful writing
And since I’m far far away, in the land of the long white cloud (NZ)
Yes, I love/hate airports too
airports rarely evoke such memories for me.. i usually leave and come back with family/ friends..rarely anyone sends/ pick us up.. we just took the cab! hahaha
Hey all… reply your comments soon, after dinner with the Devil Wears Prada. Cheers!
ah.. when we have the time to sit and sip, my friend…
carrot
Don’t cry, my dear… We’re reunited after over a week apart. Now I dread writing a post about the wait for the Devil returning from Melbourne… takut nanti more tears from the readers. Aiyo.
Nic (KHKL)
Erm, not sure yet. Might be this Saturday actually. Don’t you come up to KL during the weekends anyway? Won’t we just be reversing locations?
But yes, will Facebook you and email Keropokman tomorrow. Be so cool to meet my Singaporean blogger pals!
imeau
That’s a lovely note you left here, dear. And trust me, I’d love that ‘Teleport’ function too — I’d be wherever my loved ones are and also, avoid all them dreadful traffice jams!
I too prefer having someone welcome me home versus sending me off, but I can’t help seeing my loved ones off, even if it hurts.
Jian aka Cokeworld Citizen
Hahaha… that’s a scary scenario! I’m famous for being at the airport super-early but one time I actually was late due to some ticket mix-up and was THE LAST PERSON TO GET ON THE PLANE. O the embarassment! O the indignation! (After years of being unnecessarily early some more.)
equilibrium2008
And again I’m reminded of that Fugees song that goes “Everything’s gonna be alright, everything’s gonna be alright…” And it will.
su
Well, heloo there, Su-Far-Far-Away-in-the-Land-of-the-White-Cloud. Thanks for reading! It means muchly to me.
sc
Haiya… I take the cab also ma… but not so much drama if I write about cab rides from the airport. Hahahaha…
Jun
O we will find the time one day, my friend. Consider it a promise.
yeah kenny, that is in fact my song right now.
haha so all ur dignity and hardwork gone down the drain…eventually.. XD
I never get to the airport super early especially when I am coming back to Penang from Spore. Aiyoh…Spore glue too strong…kenot…unglue…myself…hehe
equilibrium2008
Good to know that. Hang on, dear.
Jian aka Cokeworld Citizen
Yalor, so malu only. Singaporean glue is that strong meh? It never manages to stick on me though…
i can’t help but smile a huge smile at the end of the entry. =)
sigh. airports huh. =T reminded me of the time i left my family for nz. i tried hard not to cry because i had a guy friend there seeing me off, and he half-jokingly said how he can’t wait to see me cry (lol). i choked back my sadness and just waved back at the crowd above the escalators without wearing my glasses because if i wore it, i could see my family & friends clearly and huge tears might fall down my cheeks. i didn’t want to allow my friend the satisfaction of seeing me get teared up, so i walked on without looking back as soon as i reached the passport-checking machine.
i was still feeling miserable as i got on the plane, but as i looked around and saw my friends with unhappy faces, i stopped feeling sad because i should actually feel happy for doing something not everyone gets to do. so i prayed everything will be okay for my family, friends and myself. and i felt much better.
wishing you all the love and happiness in the world for you and your SO, kenny <3
Zaty
Thanks for sharing your story… it’s not easy, is it? But you were brave, and it’s true, we should be happy and grateful for what we do have.
And thanks again for your well wishes. *hugs*
airports..i still remember the 1st time i flew on my own. my trip to Laos. was supposed to fly with ’someone’ but ended flying by myself. sad? very much..but happy also tht i’m finally gonna go visit my cousin.
i don’t think i’ll want to fly alone again tho.. it can be a very lonely affair.
*******************
i remember sending my friend off at the airport when he was leaving for the US. a whole bunch of us were there to send him off. think there were only 2 girls tht time.. his gf and i. i cried like nobody’s business..think it was worse than his gf. haha… of course after tht i got teased and laughed from the others like mad. *blushes*
spiffy
Flying alone can be a very lonely affair, agreed. But whenever I have to fly alone, I use it as an opportunity to have some time alone to myself (though surrounded by a plane full of strangers) and reflect.
Does wonders when you little else to do but watch popcorn movies on tiny screens and hum to the beat of the man snoring next to you…
i just plug in my mp3 and snooze off.. hehe.. ;o)
spiffy
Old Uncle Mah here don’t have .mp3 player ma…
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