The Appetizers
Floggers.
It’s a term that will strike wholesome fear into the hearts of competent criminals and invoke lusty desire in the loins of the more sexually adventurous among us. For those unsure of what floggers are, allow me to summarize a couple of definitions, via Wikipedia:
- A disciplinarian who flogs, i.e. administers a flogging as a physical punishment;
- A multi-tongue whipping implement specially made to use for such fetish and/or erotic BDSM flogging, usually of the cat o’ nine tails-type; a miniature version for male genitorture is called ball whip
Goodness me. With an introduction like that, can anyone blame me for trembling with trepidation ahead of my meeting the floggers last Thursday evening?
Do not fret for my soft, pliable flesh though, my trusty readers — these aren’t any common floggers. Nay, these are Floggers with a capital F. So pray tell, you may be asking now, what does the letter stand for?
Fun, most definitely. Finicky, yes — given their very specific and hard-to-please palates. Famished, quite often, with their insatiable appetites. Filthy, if you have ever been party to their obscene and cheek-reddening conversations. Fantasy, why not? They sure do have a tendency to be lyrical and poetic at times, bringing on throes of near-orgasms in their legions of fans. But most of all, above everything else, Floggers are about Food.
Yes, food. Why else would we call them Floggers? Are they not Food Bloggers after all?
The Mains & the Desserts
One may surmise these are a species both enchantingly dangerous and charming like death… by chocolate. And indeed they are. So, when I received an invitation to attend a most exclusive dinner prepared lovingly by the infamous and elusive FatBoyBakes, how could I refuse the opportunity to be a privileged and pampered dinner guest?
Our esteemed host had warned us ahead of time that this is but a simple meal for friends. If one may take a peek at the menu for the night (carelessly reproduced below), one may infer that our generous chef is both a loquacious wordsmith and a beautiful liar. Most of us were going, “If this is simple, what on earth does he produce when he decides to try something more challenging?”
Of course, having a menu does save me, the poor and verbally impaired narrator of this culinary tale, the trouble of recounting the smashing dishes presented that night. Suffice to say, this non-flogger would attest to both the quality and quantity of the food available, i.e. it was very good and there was a lot of it.
Strangely enough, it’s never the food who is the main star of the evening. Nothing steals the show better than the Floggers themselves. Such an affable and gregarious bunch, always ready with a witty quip and a smidgen of the latest juicy gossip. I am afraid I am unable to repeat much of what was exchanged that night, not on account of a threat of violent physical torture by the other dinner guests, but mostly due to a faulty memory.
Or, as our brainybitchybenevolent host would put it, “They don’t make young people like they used to. Back in my days…”
The Menu
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Credits: Original photographs and other reviews by Paprika and Nigel A. Skelchy.
90 Comments
Hey, still hangover from the dinner issit??? No wonder you becummning not yourself today…or is this your real true self?
Precious Pea
Cum now, cum now, you cunt possibly be referring to our lil exchange on Facebook, could you, my dear? All I did was adhere to the creative spelling playfully used by our redoubtable peers.
In fact, I think it’s rather becumming. No?
must be the wonder of the loving food n drinks for you have deeply befallen and becumming over the topmost flogging delight oredi !
told you them floggers are dangerous
LOL !
it amazes me how “simple” that is. OH u guys are so blessed.
wow. another floggers’ meet! u must be well-fed
’simple’ seem like an understated word here
I am sure he is not himself or himself after being pampered with such a delicious meal! lol!
wah…this is called ’simple’ dinner ah… i am curious what a full-fledge-out-to-impress dinner menu would look like! heehee…
everything sounds and looks so lovely…i am so jealous!!
and yes…this entry of yours does sound a bit drunk!
gosh, those foods are really delicious. youre destroying my diet ahaha…
btw, who’s that cutey guy with eyeglasses.. he is cute la. hehe
floggers, food bloggers, foodies or not, i believe those who enjoy their food are those who enjoy life…and they are always ready with a joke (cold or steamy..hehe)
too bad i wasnt able to attend the awesome party…and i was on OT that night somemore…depressing…*looking for snacks*
Floggers? I didnt know such word exist. Hee
Goodness, gracious Kenny! Those food looks sO-owh-yummylicious! *drools* I wish I got invited. I bet the desserts tasted great too. Chocolates? who could resist ya?
And by the way,
they call this Simple?
*Looking back at the menu*
No, I don’t think so! *big grin*
hmm whats that stain on the menu..errr..hum…wine stain sure?
LOL
). We’re just a bunch of food porno-graphers!
Now now now, I don’t remember we flog anyone (maybe in dreams but that’s a different story
The photo actually makes my mouth water already…
Your palate must have been brought to heaven that night?
i’m speechless at such a euphonious write up. loquacious wordsmith? apatu?
brainybitchybenevolent? moi? bitchy? not the slightest hint of canine on me.
team bsg
Yes, you did warn them Floggers are dangerous… but see, I do love me some danger… What can I say? I’m a reckless fella…
daphne
Oh indeedy. Blessed are Floggers but more so, Friends of Floggers.
Jun
Well-fed would be a MAJOR understatement.
rokh
Hehe, our host is a maestro of both food and understatements…
Big Boys Oven
Pampered would be one way of putting it. Entertained and enlightened would be another, perhaps more accurate at that…
Lingzie
Hah? Got meh? I didn’t drink that much that night ma… Last night with Rasa Malaysia @ King Crab however… I practically ‘ate’ my alcohol… tee hee.
(Watch out for what I mean in a foodblog near you soon…)
equilibrium2008
The cutey with eyeglasses? That would be Appetizer No. 1, otherwise known as Joe with lots of cravings, a.k.a. Nipples. Go on, ask him how he got that nick. You know you want to…
Nic (KHKL)
Aiya, Pakcik Nic — we’ll catch up soon enough for another floggers party, I’m sure. And yeah, I’ve been convinced that since I blog about life, I too would have to blog about food, since it’s such an indispensable part of life.
Eudora
Oh you should know we walloped the appetizers thinking that was the meal… and then out came the main dishes! But no matter how much we devoured, ALL of us made sure we kept sufficient space for the DESSERTS later. Hehe…
lotsofcravings
Wine stain? Is that what you think it is…
jason
Oh ho ho ho, and who exactly do you flog in your dreams, bro?
su
My palate brought to heaven? Oh yes and then some… Let’s just say there were heavenly choirs in song that night. Or was that just FBB, Nigel and Allan?
fatboybakes
Euphonious? What does that mean? Mabuk, issit? I’m telling you all lah, I didn’t drink that much that night….
And did I call you bitchy? A thousand apologies. I really meant… uhm, waitaminute. Bitchy is right what…
So this was the dinner you dare not leave un-drunk for fear the young people of nowadays will be forever tainted as frail & weak?
Oops is the big bow-wow (doubt I qualify to call out biatch) not suppose to know?
Tummythoz
Hehe, yeap this was the one. And trust me, the big bow-wow knows all, he does… He’ll sniff us all out eventually…
food!
of course la. How would I ask him though. err..
—
When I sleep around I’ll start a food blog.
what?
Men are meat too!
—
(winkity wink)
What a “simple” dinner…it’s so simple that
I’m beginning to question …what are “questionably organic groundnuts”….LOL!
wah seh! what a sumptuous meal! i am salivating now!
i see big chunks of roast khinzir! with that sambal!
the tiramisu! is that for 1 person each? or share share one?
next time, can i gate crash ah?
What? Me? Appetizer? Hahaha…it was a blast bro. It was a blast. Sad that I had to leave so early..
To the host : Fridaylah next time, Saturday oso can
I swear I left a comment here earlier. Anyways, appetizer? me? Hehehe…Twas a blast bro..
To the host : Next time Friday nightlah, us young un’s don’t really go out partying anymorelah. Heheheh
equilibrium2008
How would you ask him? Eh, that I will leave entirely up to you… Be creative in hunting down your dates.
This might be a good point to mention that Nipples has a really pretty and vivacious Girlfriend di… Oopsies.
G
Yes, well. I can imagine the title of your ‘food blog’ already — Eating Meat?
tigerfish
‘Questionably organic groundnuts’? I believe they are just, uhm, kacang. Like what you get with a steaming dish of nasi lemak.
keropokman
Share share lah… If just one person whack, wahh… mabuk leh… Warning: High alcohol content. Hehe.
isn’t that what you want? LOL..
last Sat when you were busy eating in Sg, I was at a friend’s place. they made tiramisu too, but not in the nice glass container as in your pic, but… it was good! they splashed cognac in it.
aiyo, at this hour, hungry man looking at those desserts!!!!!!!!
I am so jeles! *Hhmph*
hmm err he is taken
but well just want to tell him he is cute but if he is taken, i rest my case hihi 
I am craving of those foods now. I wonder where in the Philippines I can find those food..
keropokman
Mabuk? On a Thursday night? You must be replying in jest, dear sir. Next day have to work some more leh… I’m one of them young people these days that they did not make them like they used to.
Gina
Jangan ler jeles. Jom makan!
equilibrium2008
Taken, also can tell him he is cute ma. You’re in the Philippines now?
aiyoyo..im getting alot of attention eh..until fbb had to *alert* me..
i wish to take all dis compliments gracefully but by no means am i *cute* larr…pretty sure the other 2 guys are much *cuter* then me..
haha kennymah looks like u can setup a dating agency thru here d haha
yes I am from Philippines although I am half chinese
yah just tell him somebody says he is cute la.. 
lotsofcravings
Well, then we must thank FBB for his constant vigilance, then, must we not?
And haiya, if a lady finds you cute, bro — you jolly well should take the compliment ma. Maybe you’re more her type than our Baker and our Chicken Rice Boy? Hehe.
equilibrium2008
I just did. Tell him, I mean.
And I shall consider setting up a dating agency… I certainly would not do worse than any of those speed-dating folks, would I?
well yeah, you will be one of the best dating agency ever… oh my you really did tell him *blush*… is lots of craving is the guy with eyeglasses? gosh, i just want to disappear…
equilibrium2008
Well, I just assumed he’d read this. But you’d have to thank FBB for alerting him, hehe. Don’t lah disappear… I wanna see what happens when you two finally exchange words… at risk of his Girlfriend wrathing on me.
(Yes, I know there is no such word as ‘wrathing’ but it sounds cool. So there.)
wicked…. no la, im scared his gf might get back at me la..
and besides im not pretty also err..
equilibrium2008
No lar, no lar… I don’t think his girlfriend reads my blog. I will find out the next time I meet them… if she spanks me or something.
Then again, I wouldn’t mind that…
well i forgot to thanks fbb, whoever he is la… if you notice i dont post my pics coz i experienced already being stalked. this in fact my third blog. the first two, i have deleted them coz they made nasty comments there.
oh well mr. nipples youre cute la. too bad your taken already
and you’re right Kenny should put up a dating company. if that happens I will be his first client 
equilibrium2008
FBB = FatBoyBakes… the host of this wonderful dinner party. And I’m not sure if you should worry being stalked or if Nipples should worry about being stalked or if I should worry about both of you stalking my comments section.
Kiddin’, just kiddin’.
Hmm, first client ar? I wonder what I’ll call my company… Any suggestions? Please don’t say something like “Plug ‘n’ Play” …
ahaha the name is cool. better than “hide and seek”.. Oh I wanna meet FBB too. I hope its okay if I will add their links to my blog.
I am not sure if he will read this though hehe…well the third option re:stalking, i guess would be appropriate la…
equilibrium2008
Haha, I believe FBB and Nipples will be well flattered, but then I can speak for either of them.
Btw, did I just advocate stalking? Egads and gazooks! Uhm, like, no.
Muahaha, a full spread like tat definitely doesn’t deserve to be crowned as “simple” dinner~
Good food, great company!
Oh i didn’t know you’re an advocate of stalking la… Oh thanks if you could give my regards to them. I have also visited their site and they write well just like you…
Oh well FBB is good looking too… But I prefer Chubby guys like nipples. unfortunately. he is already taken.. hehe
Pat & Unkaleong
Yikes! The spam filter ate up your earlier comments and I just rescued them. But yes, food, Pat. And Unkaleong, I am all for Friday the next round… We young un’s really ought to stick together
JOJo
That’s what I always say too — ‘Good food, great company!’
equilibrium2008
Did you just call Nipples “chubby”? Oh me, oh my…
Better yet…
Did you just call FBB “good looking”? Oh me, oh my…
muahahahahahahahahahaa……i’m sure its a miscomm, since my photo doesnt even appear on your post la donk…[whacks you on the head].
fatboybakes
Yes, well. Given you’re of them anonymous bloggers like Precious Pea and Paprika, how to post your pic?
And: ouch.
I’m back babes…..missed me?
The Quiet Storm
You betcha, gorgeous, you betcha.
Welcome back!!!
yeah just called him chubby la.. why am i wrong?
-FBB- I just visited your blog and it makes my mouth water ahahaha…. Oh well, all of you writes very well..
equilibrium2008
Eh, whether right/wrong I’ll leave it to the two of you lah. Hehe. But FBB’s blog is indeed mouth-watering… just as the man himself will water you with his gems of wisdom yesteryear or yesterdecade…
ahaha, hmm i wish i can also taste those food in person la. but so far, ill try explore more about filipino exotic dishes too…
so the other guy isn’t FBB? then where is his pic..? hehe
equilibrium2008
Ooh, what are more exotic Filipino dishes? Please don’t tell me is them duck embryos har…
And no, it isn’t FBB. The Appetizers (left to right): Joe with lots of cravings a.k.a. Nipples, Allan Yap of Just Heavenly fame, Unkaleong of recent KFC Chicken Rice commercial fame.
FBB would be more of a main course, perhaps even an eight-course Chinese banquet. Us young un’s can’t possibly compare…
more of a main course? lei seong sei ah!
I see la… I hope to see him too. I thought he is the long hair one.. hehe
Oh the one with duck embryo is called “Balut”. We got a lot of exotic foods here such as Papaitan made of internal organs of a cow and lots of onions and ginger. We have sisig also, made out of pigs brain… yummy.
Myabe you’d want to post his pic though.. hehe
fatboybakes
Oh but it is the Truth, sir — what are us young un’s but mere appetizers in your mighty, meaty-main-dishy presence? We bow and cower at your brilliance and magnificence…
equilibrium2008
Eh, cannot post his pic lar… he’s one of them anonymous bloggers… tak nampak muka one… As for your Filipino delicacies, perhaps you might interest FBB with an invitation to sample your exotic fare. Me? I’m much too mundane for such, uhm, un-mundane dishes. Pigs brain did you say..?
Yes pigs brain… hmm yummy delicacy here. we call it sisig.. oh we also have soup #5 which is they believe to be an aphrodisiac. I wonder made of bull’s testicles. It is served in chinese restaurants here i guess older guys shouldn’t buy that expensive viagra pill if this soup really works though..
Penis Stew
1 pound of penis, ram’s or bull’s
1/2 pound of testicles
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
3 tbls. Fish Sauce
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper
Scald the penis, then drain and clean (doesn’t say how you clean a penis. Not sure a guy would know since this penis is, well . . . never mind). Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil. Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes. Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet. Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden. Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil. Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender. Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.
equilibrium2008
This must be the first recipe I’ve ever received in one of my comments… and what an ‘interesting’ recipe at that.
(If any of you readers at home are keen on trying this recipe out, do let me know about the ‘results’ — both the dish and the after-dining-experience. Ahem.)
As for cleaning the bull or ram penis, uhm, I don’t think it’s much different from cleaning any piece of meat. Er, what I mean is… Nevermind. *sniggers*
hehe, oh well its also a chinese recipe
And its quite expensive when you order it from Chinatown here in Philippines.
equilibrium2008
Yes, well. Us Chinese are renown for our inability to waste any part of an animal destined for the cooking pot, are we not?
And I can imagine it’s quite expensive. You don’t exactly have bull penises flying all over the place, do you?
hehe in Tagaytay slaughter house maybe..
have you visited Philippines? If ever you have a chance, I will show you around and let you taste unique Filipino cuisines. Each provinces here have their own specialty. The Balut, is really nice, known to be good for having stronger knees. hehe 
equilibrium2008
Good for stronger knees? Well, I wouldn’t mind a flatter tummy and broader shoulders. Got dishes for those?
Thanks for the kind invite, btw!
I think they also have those kind of foods here though. hehe.. I enjoy reading your blogs… Gosh I can’t believe that because of your blogs, I was able to avoid logging in at forums that usually depress me hehe.. Thanks Ken…
equilibrium2008
Really? Then I’ll have a Tummy-Flattening-Soufflé and Big-Shoulder-Rack-of-Lamb, please. No more need for workouts, eh?
Forums that depress you? Usually it’s the perfect forms of other people that depress me…
yes there are some forums that has no rules you know. and it is good ive decided to start my blog at wordpress. at least I can decide which one can post or not.
equilibrium2008
Ooh… forums that are like the Wild Wild West. No rules, just guts ‘n’ glory! Something like that?
But yeah, comment moderation is important. I have had less-than-savoury experience with spammers so I advocate this simple security measure for any would-be bloggers.
hehe same thing in my case. Yes, forums where you can anything under the sun…
equilibrium2008
Anything under the sun? Maybe that’d be my next blog topic. Speaking of which, I need to blog again but soon. Maybe this Thursday, since it’s a public holiday.
All my time seems to get sucked up every day before I even get down to anything remotely, uhm, fun.
hehe at least today was able to post 2 blogs la… yeah maybe that’s a good title, anything under the sun..
equilibrium2008
Two blogs? That’s a lot! I’m lucky to blog even once a week, sometimes once a month. Anyway, we’ll see if that title turns up in your blog first or mine…
yeah two blogs sometimes more. I just write something about life, love, friendship. or if i read something nice and very touching i’d post it to my blog… if its about my travel, i just post their pics.. not as detailed as your blog la..
hehe
equilibrium2008
I think those are very nice topics to blog about… I guess I blog about similar stuff… it’s all about Life here.
It’s been awhile since my last blog entry but I really won’t have time till Thursday, which is a public holiday. Times like these I’m glad that Life for Beginners isn’t a column-style blog which readers would expect to be updated regularly.
In fact, I’m sure I have months with only a single blog entry when I’m superduperbusy!
ahaha, in my case, i love to blog so I just try to write anything… if its about the places i’ve been, i only put some pics of places i visited.
ive always been a frustrated writer though and blogging has been a great help for me.
equilibrium2008
What does the term ‘frustrated writer’ mean, though? Too often it’s been used simply to mean writers of unpublished or unfinished work, but is that necessarily a bad thing? Writers write. Isn’t that enough?
Hehe. Just a bit of silliness there. Of course it isn’t; it never ever is.
hmm for me it means dreaming or wanting so bad to be a writer but unfortunately, with circumstance, it cant happen
equilibrium2008
Maybe not now, but with time and a little hardheadedness, everything is achievable. Or as that sportswear ad says, “Impossible is Nothing.”
kenny! this post made my tummy hurt from envy!
walio! looks like the que is long, wonder when I will be call as a guest to FFB dinner parties!
dizzy
Oh no — that’s quite the opposite effect, dear! You’re supposed to be reeling from a sense of satiation, almost as if you were there yourself, sampling the fare… no? Oh well. Envy, it is then.
Big Boys Oven
Long queues = very good food, ma!
who says long queues = good food.
that’s an urban legend. haha…
long queues
= slow cook who gets panic attacks and keeps opening the fridge doors for gush of cool air to cool themselves down.
= efficient queue management system. they should install a queue system.
(In Singapore it will have a ‘ding dong’ and blinking red numbers on a board without voice.
In Malaysia it would be a computer simulated voice calling out: Nombor Tiga Satu Dua Dua, Kaunter Lima. Nombor Tiga Satu Dua Tiga, Kaunter Lima, in addition to the blinking red words on the board.)
= marketing ploy by their consultants. Make people think the food’s damn good by doing the delay tactic. People out there like the many Kens of the world will fall for it.
Oh, how we changed topic so much. LOL
Haha.. thanks to this post of yours.
A few of us are organising a pot luck dinner and came out with this menu list. People who are coming can join forces to come out with the dish, as long as all the dishes will appear on that night. LOL We will see how it turns out. haha…
Menu inspired by this blog post.
“Simply Peranakan”
*The Bibik’s Fiery Kari Ayam*
A secret recipe stashed under Bibik’s bed. The fussy and meticulous bibik prepares the drool some Kari Ayam.
*Ponteng School for Babi Ponteh*
Organic black pork, secretly imported from Hokkaido. Tenderly braised with Fictitiously Organic Black Bean under the charcoal flames.
*Not Bananas, but Udang Nanas*
Succulent wild prawns and freshly picked juicy sun-riped pineapple. Now you know how nyonyas capture their baba’s hearts.
*Hey Mr Cabin aka Enche Kabin*
Hand Crafted with tender loving hands. Little golden nuggets made from 10 exquisite ingredients. Please leave some for others.
*Oh What a Mess - The Ultimate Rojak*
The salad with a difference. Forget extra virgin olive oil. This orient salad uses the highest grade hae-ko and the freshest ingredients.
*Dancing for Dessert - Bubur Cha Cha*
Cha Cha Cha, you gotta dance for your dessert. Questionably Organic Sweet Potato, Tender Yam, Sago and Extra Virgin Coconut Milk. Drool on….
keropokman
Hehe, I’d go for your last definition… I’m always a huge sucker for marketing ploys… what can I say? I’m all about appearances… wonderfully superficial this way.
(And on a side note, why does everyone call me ‘Ken’? The name’s Kenny, haiyo-gozaimassss… Or worse, use my both my names squashed into a single word uttered like a machine-gun-fire: “How are you, kennymah?” I am much confounded, ladies and gentlemen.)
And wah, what a potluck… am I invited?
*muka tak tau malu as usual..*
Just reading your menu list is a riot of laughter and dare I say it? — envy. I think FBB’s got some competition in menu-name-design leh… :p
kenny, you have given a new meaning to the word floggers! and you’ve made writing at food seems so easy.
hahaha! I like that Dancing for Desseert - Bubur Cha-cha.
Can I add another one?
The grand finale - the Black and white minstrel show - Bubur Pulut Hitam.
Kak Teh
I love the grand finale — “the Black and White Minstrel show” indeed! Perfect!
the dinner became a lunch, and we all went to google / beg / steal / extorted recipes from all over and prepared the dishes. LOL…
keropokman: Hehe, how’s that for ingenuity? Well done, floggers!
OMIGOD, talk about major fun that night.
And tonight. Looking fwd to your loquacious and hopefully libidinous post regarding black and white. 
Nigel: “Black and white”? What post might this be? But yeah, Sat nite was major fun… can’t wait to write about it…
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