.
Oh! how I dream of durians
Thorny diamonds fall and dance
When the King of Fruits is ripe
There’s much for ang mohs to gripe
Its sweet almond aroma
Banned from hotels, planes and cars
But true connoisseurs celebrate:
How would you serve this on a plate?
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Kenny Mah is a writer, designer and blogger. He posts regularly on Life for Beginners, a collection of stories about LIFE — love, family, food, fitness, magic, sex, travel, culture and everything else in between. His books include Broken Mornings, 27 Love Songs and Lady (which can be downloaded as e-books from his website).
No need plate! Straight into the mouth! Hahahahhaha!
Soon soon, I can eat those. No need for dreams anymore. Yay!
(P.S You are right about tomatoes being cooked longer having more nutrition. Don’t you have some oil to start with when making ABC soup ? When I make minestrone, I use a little olive oil to saute(and soften) the onions. Then later, add water to make up the soup + dumping other ingredients in. Having oil in the soup helps the tomatoes too!)
i jst had durian last weekend.… but i’m eager for more. hehe… ;o)
» tigerfish
Yay for durians coming soon your way! Do you prefer Thai or Malaysian ones?
P.S. Oh I don’t use oil in my ABC soup at all. Just dump all the ingredients in the pot with water and pray for the best two hours later! Hehe, I might need to pick up more cooking tips from you, dear.
» spiffy
One or two is just never enough, is it? Durians are Malaysia’s version of chocolates or ice-cream. Better yet, durian chocolate or durian ice-cream! Hahaha…
Which brings me back to my question, how else would you serve durian? What new-fangled recipes do we have for this King of Fruits?
durian cake… yummy!! hahah.…cant think of any new recipes tht will go well with durians la. i think Argus might be able to come up with something.. she’s always able to come up with different and unique recipes. ;o)
Imagine bringing it on a plane
BARF! SPEW! BLECH! Someone… get me an oxygen tank!
This fruit should have never been created by the Almighty. It wasn’t the proverbial “apple” (although i am aware biblical scholars will dispute that it wasn’t an apple) that caused man to fall… it was this fruit! It should be condemned to hell… LOL!
I’ve probably started a controversial argument on the existence of this fruit. Well, they may say what they like but i will stand by my views unless someone can successfully tell me how does one make out with a loved one when the stench of this fruit lingers from his/her mouth all the way down to the pitts of his/her stomach. Imagine what happens when he/she accidentally lets out a burp during a passionate kiss… LOL!
Forunately for me, my honey detests the fruit as much as I… LOL!
» spiffy
Durian cake can be divine if done properly. I know of a few bakers in town who’d take up this challenge willingly, hehe.
And Argus would definitely have her own unique take on this, won’t she? Can’t wait to see what she comes up with, haha.
» Paul
Imagine the steward’s horror when he smells it on your breath!
» McCutie
Hahaha, not the fruit that caused the fall of Man lah. This is the fruit that fell on Man! Hahaha… And c’mon, who makes out with durian breath anyway? It’s the communal aspect that is at play here. Though, goodness knows some folks out there might find devouring these rich custardy seeds with their milky sheen and soft almond fragrance romantic… heck, I just convinced myself it might well be!
Fortunately for me, my honey adores the fruit as much as I… LOL!
Why is it that a man and a woman can both eat the same fruit, but his fart smells stinkier??
» Lyrical Lemongrass
My guess is that the ladies fart in smaller portions. Less gas per fart, less stink. The gentlemen tend to go all out in one go where flatulence is concerned, and perhaps in other areas too, much to the woe of the ladies.
I NEVER dream of durians, unless it’s a nightmare.…
WAHAHAHAHAA (Uncontrollable laughter..you can ignore me now..hehe..)
Durians!! Despite my overdose of the fruit on my recent trip back…
I still crave for some.
Especially the Malaysian ones!!!!
» Michelle
Oh, how could dreams of these little morsels of heaven be nightmares… Blasphemy! LOL
» daphne
Yay! I prefer the Malaysian variety too; more flavour! You can never get too much of good durians.
“..little morsels of heaven..”, did you say?
More like spiky green stuff that make known their existence to the high heavens..
(OBVIOUSLY, I don’t share your dream here. So fear not, no hijacking of any durians from this little lady!)
» Michelle
Being the optimist and pacifist that I am, I’d say it just means MORE for me! Hehe.
Oh! how i detest durians
Thorny fruit, fallen from grace
When the so called king of fruits is ripe
There’s foul smell to gripe
Its odour some consider aroma
Blinded people they are
Only the so called connoisseurs celebrate.
How could you even consider serving this?
» keropokman
Some may find its fragrance foul
Like stale gas straight from the bowels
There must be something wrong with your nostrils
To not detect its ardourous thrills
So yes, mate. I’d serve this on a plate
No other fruit deserves praise so great!
I’m amazed, a local (well, Singaporean, but that’s practically the same thing) food blogger not a fan of durians? The horror!
reminds me of all the products that durian can come with..i.e. CAKE!!
missing durian la..despite pleas from the Girlfriend to buy some..
No other fruit deserves praise so great!
May I suggest mangos? They’re almost the same colour.. *blinking innocent eyes..*
» lotsofcravings
Durian cake seems to be the front-runner favourite. No love for tempoyak? Hehe.
» Michelle
Mango? Mango? How can thee compare the resplendent sunkissed sheen of a perfect durian to… to… MANGO? *faints*
‘Fragrance’, oh that’s too complimentary
A stench is what I might use.
Maybe the nasal hair’s neatly trimmed.
More smell gets thru the narrow tube.
May I suggest something else for the plate?
Delicious mango definitely my take.
i think i finished my quota of durian for my lifetime. stopped at around secondary school. or maybe i joined the green movement, decide no longer to pollute the air. LOL…
my absolute kryptonite!
they said durian is an aphrodisiac…
seems like them yellow meat made you rather poetic, eh? hehehe.…
» keropokman
Another one for the mild mango?
Your tastebuds must be doing the tango
To confuse such sweet ambrosia
For a substitute hardly better
I fear your palate I must educate
If this is what you place upon my plate…
The green movement? Oh do stop. You’ve got me laughing so hard now. LOL
» Nic (KHKL)
Your absolute Kryptonite? What’s happening to all our fine Malaysian boys and girls? Don’t our parents feed our children this Fruit of Kings no more? Sighs… I blame the education system, really.
As for me being poetic prowess of durian flesh, oh good meat can make me sing anytime…
Urrggghh, durians! I’m not ang moh but I hate the smell of raw durian and fake durian essence. However, cooked or baked durian (sweet soup or cake or sweet) I can take.
(By the way, Kenny, your discussion of farting with LL is most illuminating, if not fumigating.)
I day dream about durians and wake walk to the vendors to get it. Living in Thailand for 1 1/2 years sometime ago, I missed the local durians so much that I binged on local Thai Monthong and Chanee everyday for a week.
» Argus With Embarrassment
Sweet soup? You mean tempoyak, I hope. (Though I’ve heard of a chicken soup with durian; can’t imagine what it’d taste like. Apparently the broth is clear despite the durian.)
And you’ve got to love that line — “farting with LL” — I’m sure she’ll appreciate its inherent sense of indignance, if not dignity. Hehe.
» Chin
Now that’s the sign of a true connoisseur — imagine being in a land surrounded by durians everywhere and yet still craving the best specimens possible. You are a champ. It’s instances like these that make me wanna holler out “Malaysia Boleh!”
awww i missed those that i used to get fresh from dropping off the tree back in my hometown…bliss…
» rokh
Wahh… that’s a great memory to have. Did any of the durians fall on any unfortunate folk’s head? Hehe.
May God bless your breath, stinky lil fingers and fart!
Now excuse me while I barf…
» A Lil Fat Monkey
Fart? What fart? Good boys don’t fart, mein Freund.
Precisely my point…you’re never good to start with…tee hee
» A Lil Fat Monkey
Oooh.. *bitchslap*
I felt that, darnit! Lol.
We have tons of Durians here in Philippines. Unfortunately I am allergic to ‘all’ fruits so I haven’t tasted one. But most of us here don’t like the smell of Durian though.
So which durian is your favourite?
D24 / Sultan Durian — the durian that was originally served for the Sultans.
D100 — it got registered with MARDI in 1970, and after like 30 over years is finally begin to shine.
D197 / Mao Shan Wang, that’s expensive and people still pay?
me wonders.. which fills your plate? they certainly wont be on mine!
(btw, me no durian expert, me just happens to read Sunday’s paper which had a write out on it. LOL)
eh… how do you rate your bau hidrogen sulfida on the scale of 1 to 10? LOL..
» equilibrium2008
Which is a pity, really. I think the smell is the second best part. (The best part’s the taste, of course.)
» keropokman
I’d go for D24 for I don’t really have any favourites. The flesh must be firm, not squishy or hard, and the aroma must be present though not overpowering.
I like mine as it is, raw… but with a certain twist. I like them chilled.
Otherwise used in cakes like a durian cheesecake. Divine. But not a big fan of durian desserts in form of sweet soups. In Malacca, durian cendol and dodol (a durian candy) is very popular. Go figure. Never did anything for me.
P.S. On a scale of 1 to 10? It’s probably off the charts! LOL
my mum freezes durian in her freezer. after a hard day’s of house work, she’ll enjoy your frozen durians.
i know people who eats durian with rice! but i prefer mango with rice ala thai style.
i like dodol, but not the durian flavoured ones. yikes. eat the original dodol, dun bother about durian dodol. pui! LOL.
» keropokman
Well, I don’t freeze them; they’ll be too hard otherwise. I just chill them in the fridge.
And yes, I’ve heard about durian with rice! Er, to each their own? Definitely not my cup of tea, uhm, bowl of rice?
or “plate” of rice?
we should all have durian party..
» keropokman
Yes, that too! LOL
P.S. I’ll have you know one of my readers called me up this morning and told me that after reading this entry she just had to rush to her favourite bakery and buy a durian puff or two. Hehe.
» BossCat
Sounds like a brilliant idea! Even better if someone here owns a dusun, a veritable durian orchard, haha…
“but i prefer mango with rice ala thai style” — keropokman
Hail keropokman! And Hail mango with rice!
So now we have keropokman and Michelle leading the Mango Team, and we have BossCat and moi leading the Durian Team.
Who will win ‘The War of the Fruits’? (I can smell a sequel already — ‘The Return of the King… of Fruits’! LOL)
P.S. McCutie and A Lil Fat Monkey can pair up as the Cheesecake Team since they’re both so cheesey-lovey-dovey… Hehe.
Wah.. the durian picture sure looks good. I feel like licking the computer monitor!
Prefer Malaysian durians of course, but I’ve lost touch in them. Need to try them all.
Can only find imported Thai durians in California, and Taiwan. They are non-stinky and I don’t like it
» gina
Well, won’t you rather lick a real durian instead?
» tigerfish
Hahaha, a lady after my own heart… someone who understands the magic of the durian fragrance!
smells like almonds, huh… you’re too kind…, erm… the initial taste if fine.. the aftermath is not even funny. me no like durian
haha
» cumi&ciki
The ‘aftermath’? Oh that I’ll have to agree with ya… The lucky ones don’t have to share a bathroom…
Durian in season now? How come i didn’t see any? Or something wrong with my senses both sight and smell? Saliva dripping when i see your friend enjoying his own thumb! Hahah! Finger licking good!!
» Precious Pea
Well, we did buy these durians from the supermart, already shelled and so we could select the very best of the lot. Finger lickin’ good indeed. cK knows all about it, he does.
Never knew that mild-mannered keropokman doth hate durian so!
I didn’t like durian as a kid, but now am appreciating it more as I grow older. But am still a fence-sitter, which is probably unusual — most people either LOVE durian or HATE it.
» Camemberu
That’s true, very true. Most folks I know either LOVE durian or HATE it. Fence-sitters are rare indeed where the King of Fruits is concerned. Perhaps you haven’t tasted the very best samples yet? Do try some more, dear… Hehe.
P.S. Mild-mannered keropokman? You make him sound like Clark Kent/Superman. Instead of “super” we have “keropok”, hahaha…
hey Kenny! How are you doing, im very well!! tummy is growing bigger every week…and feeling great!
I havent dropped by here too for quite sometime.
» Nicole
Yay for the baby bump!
somehow, this season I’ve been downing some durians, on-the-house.
not one cent was spent (OK, so one cent’s extinct, bite me).
when I dont see them, I dont crave for them. But when they’re laid bare, waiting to be savoured, I can’t help my itchy fingers. yummy.
» J2Kfm
For me, it’s like this: I see, I want. I don’t see, I still want!
I will lick it of her!
Durians we get it frozen here
Sometimes with severe freezer burns
If ever I get me some fresh durians,
I would serve it with Queen of the fruit
and eat them with gold fork and knife
Boy, it is hard to write a poem. I tried but couldn’t get the ending word to rhythm. Good job on your poems. I just read your Tong Sui poem as well. You have “kicked foods up a notch” with your writing talent.
» big boys oven
Maybe it’d be more socially acceptable if you ask her permission first? And who is this “her”? Curiouser and curiouser…
» Lee Ping (MrsHBT)
Thanks, dear. Haven’t had you drop by in a while. Hope you’re doing well. And your reply in verse is so very cute!
Durians!!! My hubby loves it and he’s an ang moh..LOL. He got free durian from a seller at a supermarket who challenged him to eat in front of the standbys. If he succeeds he will have the 1/2 portion of durian he was looking at! I think the seller regretted because my hubby was looking at quality durians…LOL Now, he looking for nicknames Durian Susu & Durian Ice cream. We tasted Durian Susu which is very sweet, smooth, fragrant and thick flesh. One of our friends said that to eat Durian Ice Cream you need to have to scoop it with spoon because the flesh is too soft t handle by hands.
One of my friends who worked in a local hotel told me of a situation they — the Receptionists faced with an American guy. He was upset becos the hotel banned Durians entering the vicinity! He threatened to report to Human Rights and lodge a police report against the hotel’s discrimination on Durians… hmmm I think the hotel only put up notices without the picture of Durians. Nowadays, hotels put up a poster of crossed durian sign instead of No Durians Allowed… Could be due to the incident.
» pixen
Your husband is Da Man!
I was just discussing durians again with my friends the other day and wondering if we’d ever find an ang moh who enjoyed it. I mean, we know of a couple of high-profile ang mohs who do, but nothing like a normal person… like us.
Good on Mr. Pixen, then.
» pixen
P.S. As for Durian Ice-Cream, methinks it’s something I’d avoid cos I prefer something with firmer texture. Or one could it eat it as instant ice-cream? Yes?