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I Dream of Durians

Written by Kenny Mah on
Jul 16th 2008

60 Comments
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Durians!

.

Oh! how I dream of durians
Thorny diamonds fall and dance
When the King of Fruits is ripe
There’s much for ang mohs to gripe
Its sweet almond aroma
Banned from hotels, planes and cars
But true connoisseurs celebrate:
How would you serve this on a plate?

.


60 Responses

  1. tigerfish says:

    No need plate! Straight into the mouth! Hahahahhaha!
    Soon soon, I can eat those. No need for dreams anymore. Yay!

    (P.S You are right about tomatoes being cooked longer having more nutrition. Don’t you have some oil to start with when making ABC soup ? When I make minestrone, I use a little olive oil to saute(and soften) the onions. Then later, add water to make up the soup + dumping other ingredients in. Having oil in the soup helps the tomatoes too!)

  2. spiffy says:

    i jst had durian last weekend…. but i’m eager for more. hehe… ;o)

  3. Kenny Mah says:

    » tigerfish
    Yay for durians coming soon your way! Do you prefer Thai or Malaysian ones?

    P.S. Oh I don’t use oil in my ABC soup at all. Just dump all the ingredients in the pot with water and pray for the best two hours later! Hehe, I might need to pick up more cooking tips from you, dear. :)

    » spiffy
    One or two is just never enough, is it? Durians are Malaysia’s version of chocolates or ice-cream. Better yet, durian chocolate or durian ice-cream! Hahaha…

    Which brings me back to my question, how else would you serve durian? What new-fangled recipes do we have for this King of Fruits?

  4. spiffy says:

    durian cake… yummy!! hahah….cant think of any new recipes tht will go well with durians la. i think Argus might be able to come up with something.. she’s always able to come up with different and unique recipes. ;o)

  5. Paul says:

    Imagine bringing it on a plane :)

  6. McCutie says:

    BARF! SPEW! BLECH! Someone… get me an oxygen tank!

    This fruit should have never been created by the Almighty. It wasn’t the proverbial “apple” (although i am aware biblical scholars will dispute that it wasn’t an apple) that caused man to fall… it was this fruit! It should be condemned to hell… LOL!

    I’ve probably started a controversial argument on the existence of this fruit. Well, they may say what they like but i will stand by my views unless someone can successfully tell me how does one make out with a loved one when the stench of this fruit lingers from his/her mouth all the way down to the pitts of his/her stomach. Imagine what happens when he/she accidentally lets out a burp during a passionate kiss… LOL!

    Forunately for me, my honey detests the fruit as much as I… LOL!

  7. Kenny Mah says:

    » spiffy
    Durian cake can be divine if done properly. I know of a few bakers in town who’d take up this challenge willingly, hehe.

    And Argus would definitely have her own unique take on this, won’t she? Can’t wait to see what she comes up with, haha.

    » Paul
    Imagine the steward’s horror when he smells it on your breath! :lol:

    » McCutie
    Hahaha, not the fruit that caused the fall of Man lah. This is the fruit that fell on Man! Hahaha… And c’mon, who makes out with durian breath anyway? It’s the communal aspect that is at play here. Though, goodness knows some folks out there might find devouring these rich custardy seeds with their milky sheen and soft almond fragrance romantic… heck, I just convinced myself it might well be! :P

    Fortunately for me, my honey adores the fruit as much as I… LOL!

  8. Why is it that a man and a woman can both eat the same fruit, but his fart smells stinkier??

  9. Kenny Mah says:

    » Lyrical Lemongrass
    My guess is that the ladies fart in smaller portions. Less gas per fart, less stink. The gentlemen tend to go all out in one go where flatulence is concerned, and perhaps in other areas too, much to the woe of the ladies.

  10. Michelle says:

    I NEVER dream of durians, unless it’s a nightmare….

    WAHAHAHAHAA (Uncontrollable laughter..you can ignore me now..hehe..)

  11. daphne says:

    Durians!! Despite my overdose of the fruit on my recent trip back…

    I still crave for some.

    Especially the Malaysian ones!!!!

  12. Kenny Mah says:

    » Michelle
    Oh, how could dreams of these little morsels of heaven be nightmares… Blasphemy! LOL

    » daphne
    Yay! I prefer the Malaysian variety too; more flavour! You can never get too much of good durians. ;)

  13. Michelle says:

    “..little morsels of heaven..”, did you say?

    More like spiky green stuff that make known their existence to the high heavens..

    (OBVIOUSLY, I don’t share your dream here. So fear not, no hijacking of any durians from this little lady!)

  14. Kenny Mah says:

    » Michelle
    Being the optimist and pacifist that I am, I’d say it just means MORE for me! Hehe.

  15. keropokman says:

    Oh! how i detest durians
    Thorny fruit, fallen from grace
    When the so called king of fruits is ripe
    There’s foul smell to gripe

    Its odour some consider aroma
    Blinded people they are
    Only the so called connoisseurs celebrate.
    How could you even consider serving this?

  16. Kenny Mah says:

    » keropokman
       Some may find its fragrance foul
       Like stale gas straight from the bowels
       There must be something wrong with your nostrils
       To not detect its ardourous thrills
       So yes, mate. I’d serve this on a plate
       No other fruit deserves praise so great!

    I’m amazed, a local (well, Singaporean, but that’s practically the same thing) food blogger not a fan of durians? The horror! :P

  17. reminds me of all the products that durian can come with..i.e. CAKE!!

    missing durian la..despite pleas from the Girlfriend to buy some..

  18. Michelle says:

    No other fruit deserves praise so great!

    May I suggest mangos? They’re almost the same colour.. *blinking innocent eyes..*

  19. Kenny Mah says:

    » lotsofcravings
    Durian cake seems to be the front-runner favourite. No love for tempoyak? Hehe.

    » Michelle
    Mango? Mango? How can thee compare the resplendent sunkissed sheen of a perfect durian to… to… MANGO? *faints*

  20. keropokman says:

       ’Fragrance’, oh that’s too complimentary
       A stench is what I might use.
       Maybe the nasal hair’s neatly trimmed.
       More smell gets thru the narrow tube.
       May I suggest something else for the plate?
       Delicious mango definitely my take.

    i think i finished my quota of durian for my lifetime. stopped at around secondary school. or maybe i joined the green movement, decide no longer to pollute the air. LOL…

  21. Nic (KHKL) says:

    my absolute kryptonite!

    they said durian is an aphrodisiac…
    seems like them yellow meat made you rather poetic, eh? hehehe….

  22. Kenny Mah says:

    » keropokman
       Another one for the mild mango?
       Your tastebuds must be doing the tango
       To confuse such sweet ambrosia
       For a substitute hardly better
       I fear your palate I must educate
       If this is what you place upon my plate…

    The green movement? Oh do stop. You’ve got me laughing so hard now. LOL

    » Nic (KHKL)
    Your absolute Kryptonite? What’s happening to all our fine Malaysian boys and girls? Don’t our parents feed our children this Fruit of Kings no more? Sighs… I blame the education system, really.

    As for me being poetic prowess of durian flesh, oh good meat can make me sing anytime…

  23. Urrggghh, durians! I’m not ang moh but I hate the smell of raw durian and fake durian essence. However, cooked or baked durian (sweet soup or cake or sweet) I can take.

    (By the way, Kenny, your discussion of farting with LL is most illuminating, if not fumigating.)

  24. Chin says:

    I day dream about durians and wake walk to the vendors to get it. Living in Thailand for 1 1/2 years sometime ago, I missed the local durians so much that I binged on local Thai Monthong and Chanee everyday for a week.

  25. Kenny Mah says:

    » Argus With Embarrassment
    Sweet soup? You mean tempoyak, I hope. (Though I’ve heard of a chicken soup with durian; can’t imagine what it’d taste like. Apparently the broth is clear despite the durian.)

    And you’ve got to love that line — “farting with LL” — I’m sure she’ll appreciate its inherent sense of indignance, if not dignity. Hehe.

    » Chin
    Now that’s the sign of a true connoisseur — imagine being in a land surrounded by durians everywhere and yet still craving the best specimens possible. You are a champ. It’s instances like these that make me wanna holler out “Malaysia Boleh!” :D

  26. rokh says:

    awww i missed those that i used to get fresh from dropping off the tree back in my hometown…bliss…

  27. Kenny Mah says:

    » rokh
    Wahh… that’s a great memory to have. Did any of the durians fall on any unfortunate folk’s head? Hehe.

  28. May God bless your breath, stinky lil fingers and fart!

    Now excuse me while I barf…

  29. Kenny Mah says:

    » A Lil Fat Monkey
    Fart? What fart? Good boys don’t fart, mein Freund. ;)

  30. Precisely my point…you’re never good to start with…tee hee

  31. Kenny Mah says:

    » A Lil Fat Monkey
    Oooh.. *bitchslap*

    I felt that, darnit! Lol.

  32. We have tons of Durians here in Philippines. Unfortunately I am allergic to ‘all’ fruits so I haven’t tasted one. But most of us here don’t like the smell of Durian though.

  33. keropokman says:

    So which durian is your favourite?

    D24 / Sultan Durian – the durian that was originally served for the Sultans.
    D100 – it got registered with MARDI in 1970, and after like 30 over years is finally begin to shine.
    D197 / Mao Shan Wang, that’s expensive and people still pay?

    me wonders.. which fills your plate? they certainly wont be on mine!

    (btw, me no durian expert, me just happens to read Sunday’s paper which had a write out on it. LOL)

    eh… how do you rate your bau hidrogen sulfida on the scale of 1 to 10? LOL..

  34. Kenny Mah says:

    » equilibrium2008
    Which is a pity, really. I think the smell is the second best part. (The best part’s the taste, of course.)

    » keropokman
    I’d go for D24 for I don’t really have any favourites. The flesh must be firm, not squishy or hard, and the aroma must be present though not overpowering.

    I like mine as it is, raw… but with a certain twist. I like them chilled. :D

    Otherwise used in cakes like a durian cheesecake. Divine. But not a big fan of durian desserts in form of sweet soups. In Malacca, durian cendol and dodol (a durian candy) is very popular. Go figure. Never did anything for me.

    P.S. On a scale of 1 to 10? It’s probably off the charts! LOL

  35. keropokman says:

    my mum freezes durian in her freezer. after a hard day’s of house work, she’ll enjoy your frozen durians.

    i know people who eats durian with rice! but i prefer mango with rice ala thai style. :-)

    i like dodol, but not the durian flavoured ones. yikes. eat the original dodol, dun bother about durian dodol. pui! LOL.

  36. Kenny Mah says:

    » keropokman
    Well, I don’t freeze them; they’ll be too hard otherwise. I just chill them in the fridge.

    And yes, I’ve heard about durian with rice! Er, to each their own? Definitely not my cup of tea, uhm, bowl of rice? :P

  37. keropokman says:

    or “plate” of rice?

  38. BossCat says:

    we should all have durian party.. :D

  39. Kenny Mah says:

    » keropokman
    Yes, that too! LOL

    P.S. I’ll have you know one of my readers called me up this morning and told me that after reading this entry she just had to rush to her favourite bakery and buy a durian puff or two. Hehe.

    » BossCat
    Sounds like a brilliant idea! Even better if someone here owns a dusun, a veritable durian orchard, haha…

  40. Michelle says:

    “but i prefer mango with rice ala thai style”keropokman

    Hail keropokman! And Hail mango with rice!

  41. Kenny Mah says:

    So now we have keropokman and Michelle leading the Mango Team, and we have BossCat and moi leading the Durian Team.

    Who will win ‘The War of the Fruits’? (I can smell a sequel already — ‘The Return of the King… of Fruits’! LOL)

    P.S. McCutie and A Lil Fat Monkey can pair up as the Cheesecake Team since they’re both so cheesey-lovey-dovey… Hehe.

  42. gina says:

    Wah.. the durian picture sure looks good. I feel like licking the computer monitor!

  43. tigerfish says:

    Prefer Malaysian durians of course, but I’ve lost touch in them. Need to try them all.
    Can only find imported Thai durians in California, and Taiwan. They are non-stinky and I don’t like it :P

  44. Kenny Mah says:

    » gina
    Well, won’t you rather lick a real durian instead? ;)

    » tigerfish
    Hahaha, a lady after my own heart… someone who understands the magic of the durian fragrance! :D

  45. cumi&ciki says:

    smells like almonds, huh… you’re too kind…, erm… the initial taste if fine.. the aftermath is not even funny. me no like durian :( haha

  46. Kenny Mah says:

    » cumi&ciki
    The ‘aftermath’? Oh that I’ll have to agree with ya… The lucky ones don’t have to share a bathroom… :P

  47. Precious Pea says:

    Durian in season now? How come i didn’t see any? Or something wrong with my senses both sight and smell? Saliva dripping when i see your friend enjoying his own thumb! Hahah! Finger licking good!!

  48. Kenny Mah says:

    » Precious Pea
    Well, we did buy these durians from the supermart, already shelled and so we could select the very best of the lot. Finger lickin’ good indeed. cK knows all about it, he does. ;)

  49. Camemberu says:

    Never knew that mild-mannered keropokman doth hate durian so!

    I didn’t like durian as a kid, but now am appreciating it more as I grow older. But am still a fence-sitter, which is probably unusual – most people either LOVE durian or HATE it.

  50. Kenny Mah says:

    » Camemberu
    That’s true, very true. Most folks I know either LOVE durian or HATE it. Fence-sitters are rare indeed where the King of Fruits is concerned. Perhaps you haven’t tasted the very best samples yet? Do try some more, dear… Hehe.

    P.S. Mild-mannered keropokman? You make him sound like Clark Kent/Superman. Instead of “super” we have “keropok”, hahaha…

  51. Nicole says:

    hey Kenny! How are you doing, im very well!! tummy is growing bigger every week…and feeling great!

    I havent dropped by here too for quite sometime.

  52. Kenny Mah says:

    » Nicole
    Yay for the baby bump! :D

  53. J2Kfm says:

    somehow, this season I’ve been downing some durians, on-the-house.
    not one cent was spent (OK, so one cent’s extinct, bite me).

    when I dont see them, I dont crave for them. But when they’re laid bare, waiting to be savoured, I can’t help my itchy fingers. yummy.

  54. Kenny Mah says:

    » J2Kfm
    For me, it’s like this: I see, I want. I don’t see, I still want! :lol:

  55. I will lick it of her!

  56. Durians we get it frozen here
    Sometimes with severe freezer burns

    If ever I get me some fresh durians,
    I would serve it with Queen of the fruit
    and eat them with gold fork and knife

    Boy, it is hard to write a poem. I tried but couldn’t get the ending word to rhythm. Good job on your poems. I just read your Tong Sui poem as well. You have “kicked foods up a notch” with your writing talent.

  57. Kenny Mah says:

    » big boys oven
    Maybe it’d be more socially acceptable if you ask her permission first? And who is this “her”? Curiouser and curiouser…

    » Lee Ping (MrsHBT)
    Thanks, dear. Haven’t had you drop by in a while. Hope you’re doing well. And your reply in verse is so very cute! :D

  58. pixen says:

    Durians!!! My hubby loves it and he’s an ang moh..LOL. He got free durian from a seller at a supermarket who challenged him to eat in front of the standbys. If he succeeds he will have the 1/2 portion of durian he was looking at! I think the seller regretted because my hubby was looking at quality durians…LOL Now, he looking for nicknames Durian Susu & Durian Ice cream. We tasted Durian Susu which is very sweet, smooth, fragrant and thick flesh. One of our friends said that to eat Durian Ice Cream you need to have to scoop it with spoon because the flesh is too soft t handle by hands.

    One of my friends who worked in a local hotel told me of a situation they – the Receptionists faced with an American guy. He was upset becos the hotel banned Durians entering the vicinity! He threatened to report to Human Rights and lodge a police report against the hotel’s discrimination on Durians… hmmm I think the hotel only put up notices without the picture of Durians. Nowadays, hotels put up a poster of crossed durian sign instead of No Durians Allowed… Could be due to the incident.

  59. Kenny Mah says:

    » pixen
    Your husband is Da Man! :D

    I was just discussing durians again with my friends the other day and wondering if we’d ever find an ang moh who enjoyed it. I mean, we know of a couple of high-profile ang mohs who do, but nothing like a normal person… like us.

    Good on Mr. Pixen, then.

  60. Kenny Mah says:

    » pixen
    P.S. As for Durian Ice-Cream, methinks it’s something I’d avoid cos I prefer something with firmer texture. Or one could it eat it as instant ice-cream? Yes?

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