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There Once Was A Man…

Written by Kenny Mah on
Jan 15th 2009

58 Comments
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Reflections on a Slice of Carrot Cake

.

There once was a man from Singapore
Whose hometown was really New Johore
His smile was pretty
His buns were meaty
And he spent ages on what he wore.

.

One fine Sunday he went to Bangsar
But was too early for the bazaar
So he sat and sat
Till his bum was flat
And bouncers kicked him out of the bar.

.

A Marmalade Menu

.

There once was a man from Singapore
Who found himself, in Bangsar, a bore
Pigeons sat on him
A statue he seemed
And they shitted on the clothes he wore.

.

So into the laundry he went nude
And washed his clothes while naked he stood
The girls were happy
To see this chappy
Who, like a forest, sure had some wood.

.

Make mine Marmalade...

.

There once was a man from Singapore
Who met this fella from Bangalore
We call him Steve Steve
And give him much grief
And if he pouts, we simply ignore.

.

They danced all night and they danced all day
Till the neighbour’s dogs began to bay
Soon they got hungry
(Like, REALLY hungry)
So for some food they began to pray.

.

Steve Steve Eats

.

There once was a man from Singapore
And this other guy from Bangalore
Their tummies growling
So they went prowling
They wanted to makan, more and more.

.

Salmon and lamb, broccoli and clams
Saffron-infused rice with mashed wild yams
They kept on eating,
Eating and eating
Till their trousers split open like dams.

.

Mr. Long Beans

.

There once was a man from Singapore
Who ate with this guy from Bangalore
They were so well-fed
“No more food!” they pled,
“Or we will run back to New Johore!”

.

Instead they stayed in good ol’ Bangsar
Where each Sunday there’s a night pasar
They would buy flowers
And build fruit towers
And met this other chap Kenny Mah.

.

…but that’s another lousy limerick for another dreary day. Hehe.

.

A Lil Fruity...

.

~ * ~

.

Photographs taken at Bangsar Village II, Kuala Lumpur by Kenny Mah & Steve Steve. Design by Kenny Mah.


58 Responses

  1. Kenny Mah says:

    Okay, so I suck at limericks… but I thought it’d be fun to see what I could come up with off the cuff, so to speak. Me wonders what limericks you guys can come up with… Go on… Surprise me. ;)

  2. Jun says:

    “his buns were meaty”?? dude, i wonder wat u wud’ve written if it was a “girl from singapore” ;P

  3. Kenny Mah says:

    » Jun
    There once was a girl from Singapore
    Whose creamy croissants we so adore
    And her bee-stung lips
    And her earthquake hips
    Made her the stuff of legend and lore…

    ;)

  4. Didn’t know AWOL was from Singapore?! ;-)

    There was once a man-pen called Kenny
    Who did write a pretty penny
    He twisted his words
    To attract the birds
    And he also got one rooster too many

  5. Jesse says:

    HAHHAHAHAHAA. Oh my god, Kenny you chi ko pek!

    There once was a guy wtih a site
    Whose bark was worse than his bite
    That cute sunny smile
    Was really a guile
    To hide his perverted side…

    XD

  6. There once was a boy
    Where he came from, he was coy
    But he kept us coming back for stories we enjoy
    Whether or not it rhymed, still pretty like a koi!

    Aaaahhh… we leave the writing to you Kenny!

  7. spiller says:

    “New Johore”? that’s johor bahru, right? :P

  8. Kenny Mah says:

    » Argus Limerickus
    There once was a lady called Argus
    Who knew how to kick up a good ruckus
    She was of good grace
    And was fair of face
    And ran away to join the circus! :P

    » Jesse
    There once was a guy with a site
    Who loved to bark, and then, nicely bite
    His smile hid his wiles
    His teeth: sparkling tiles
    Pervert? You’re a hundred per cent RIGHT!

    Ape ni chi ko pek? Mana ade? :P

  9. Kenny Mah says:

    » 550ml jar of faith
    There once was a boy from Melaka
    Some say from Teluk Belangka
    But that is not true
    Give credit that’s due
    Please lah, he’s not quite so celaka…?

    » spiller
    Yes it is. And thank you for not replying in a limerick. I’m so regretting this now… LOL

    (Damn tough to write leh…)

  10. kak teh says:

    There was this guy called Kenny,
    Whose friends and fans are many,
    He has the looks,
    And he writes e-books,
    And sometimes, they are so funny!

    And this guy called Kenny,
    He makes my gloomy days all sunny,
    He comes to my blog,
    And as if in a dialogue,
    Leaves his wonderful comments,
    This guy called Kenny.

  11. rokh says:

    makes me feel like a kid once more reading from a big old poem book

  12. danial ma says:

    hej! kenny…hahahha…i won’t commend with limerick too…great posting to start my weekend…;-)

  13. jemima says:

    How come you didn’t show us a pix of his “buns”?:P

  14. Kenny Mah says:

    » rokh
    Ah… I used to love those! Big ol’ nursery rhyme books. I wonder if they still publish stuff like that anymore?

    » danial ma
    Haha, thanks. I didn’t realise how bad I was at rhyming till I decided to try and limerick an entire post! Still, it’s a nice start to the weekend, no? More eatin’, more chillin’ out, guys and girls…

    » jemima
    Those belong to a “paid” site. Here, I can only post stuff that is free ma… LOL

  15. Kenny Mah says:

    » kak teh
    There once was this lady called Kak Teh
    Who’d always stop to say “Hi!” and “Hey!”
    Her words do appeal
    They soothe and they heal
    And keep you feeling warm night and day.

    …okay, I’m officially all limericked out! :P

  16. very light and humorous poem..i like!!!

  17. J2Kfm says:

    LOL. funny post. and one of the most easy-to-understand post of yours. =P

  18. Tummythoz says:

    *Who, like a forest, sure had some wood*
    Very nicely put. Lol.

  19. Kenny Mah says:

    » lotsofcravings
    Light for once, right? I’m not that heavy and “cheeem” as some might put it, haha.

    » J2Kfm
    LOL! Oh dear. *looks at comment above*

    » Tummythoz
    That was my fav line, for sure. :P

  20. Chin says:

    Off the cuff or on auto. Stanza after stanza. One-liner is for the stand-up comedian. Five-liners are for the poet. Both are art forms.

  21. Kenny Mah says:

    » Chin
    “One-liner is for the stand-up comedian. Five-liners are for the poet.”

    Hahaha… I love that! But it’s actually much harder to do them one-liners, don’t you? Comic timing is one of the highest artforms, truly.

  22. cumidanciki says:

    they shitted on the clothes he wore.. hahahaha.. or is that they SHAT on the clothes he wore…?!

    the gals loved him because he had WOOD!!!

    oh wow…my morning just started to pick up… haha.. THANK YOU!

  23. Kenny Mah says:

    » cumidanciki
    Hahaha, SHAT would be the correct word but it don’t have no two syllables that I needed… :P

    Plus, SHITTED is just a whole new level of class, donthcathinkso? :P

  24. Paul says:

    Could you go back to the meaty buns you mentioned earlier? :P

  25. lingzie says:

    hahahahahahaha!!
    first of all i like New Johore.

    and then… his BUNS were MEATY??? what is that supposed to mean??? oh… does it mean his bum? as in buntut? or…????

    and what about… Who, like the forest, sure had some wood…. wahlau…does it mean what i think it means?? :P

    and then… dogs got bay one ar? i always thought they barked and growled…

    and finally…til their trousers split open like dams… somehow i am tickled pink by this line!!! heeheeheeheeheee ~oh i am so evil la~ :P

    more limericks kennnnyyyy!!! limericks are fun! :P

  26. jeff lee says:

    err…umm…i am lost here

    : ~)

  27. keropokman says:

    Oh Kenny Kenny
    You’re so funny
    Arms are getting flabby
    Good thing your teeth’s still shiny.

  28. Kenny Mah says:

    » Paul
    Hahaha, which ones — the char siew pau or the dai bao? LOL

    » lingzie
    I think you just went and analysed every one of them limericks! *fainteds*

    » jeff lee
    Oh, don’t be. Just grin and bear with it; we’re a mad, mad bunch, we are. :P

  29. spiller says:

    let’s have both the charsiew pau and the dai pau! :D

  30. Kenny Mah says:

    » keropokman
    Oh Kenny is indeed getting fatty
    And my, aren’t some of us getting catty?
    I’m not so funny
    But my nose is runny
    If you didn’t know better, I’m turning batty!

    … and I am with all these limericks! :P

    » spiller
    LOL. Oh if you only knew what those terms mean for us… a private joke. Hehe.

  31. Caramel says:

    Great limericks and photos! =)

  32. ~ elfie ~ says:

    there was once a guy called kenny
    who had one beer too many
    so he went to sleep
    it was very deep
    and he woke up with a big beer belly!

    *runs and hide*

  33. Kenny Mah says:

    » Caramel
    Thanks! :)

    » ~ elfie ~
    There once was a guy named Kenny
    Who had one wisecrack too many
    So he went to bed
    And had dreams instead
    Of a time when he was just uncanny…

    Okay, so not doing this anymore. I suck at it! LOL

  34. Célestin says:

    There once was a guy named Kenny
    Who loved to spend a pretty penny
    He bought lots of shirts
    Ties, pants, even skirts
    And then he’d drink pints of Kilkenny!

    :P

  35. Kenny Mah says:

    » Célestin
    T’was once a reader named Célestin
    Whose rhymes were as smooth as satin
    He left small verses
    And knew great curses
    In Tamil, Malay and Mandarin!

    (Berbalas pantun pulak ni…)

  36. masni says:

    is that bangsar village 2? i recognise the carrot cake from marmalade. delicious and goes so well with ur limericks! =)

  37. masni says:

    btw, are those veges from the pasar malam? lol

  38. Kenny Mah says:

    » masni
    1. Yeppers. Marmalade @ BVII it is. I love that carrot cake!

    2. The Telawi Pasar Malam @ Bangsar, yes. The veges are really fresh and the flowers very cheap! Got these for the apartment, woo-hoo! :D

  39. jeff lee says:

    okay..i just fainted…

  40. Célestin says:

    There once was a man named Kenny
    Who had a best friend named Denny
    When Denny was unwell
    Kenny would always tell
    Cos Denny would be whining all night to Kenny…

    :P

  41. Kenny Mah says:

    » jeff lee
    *runs out and buys smelling salts for jeff*

    :lol:

    » Célestin
    There once was this dude named Célestin
    Who could sing showtunes in Latin
    He went to Vegas
    And sang till Christmas
    But no one understood a word of his Latin…

    Hehe.

  42. Célestin says:

    There once was a man named Kenny
    Who was terrified of his Aunt Annie
    She would scream loudly
    He would hide proudly
    In the closet of the house of his Aunt Annie…

    :P

  43. Kenny Mah says:

    » Célestin
    There once was a man named Kenny
    Who really did have an Aunt Annie
    She was quite scary
    And didn’t like no fairies
    So we sent a swarm of them after Aunt Annie.

    (Only we didn’t. Ecks.)

  44. keropokman says:

    There once was a man named Kenny
    Who sometimes pretend to be Fenny
    Does that sound funny
    He dress looking queenie
    In dresses from the closet of Aunt Annie.

  45. Kenny Mah says:

    » keropokman
    There once was a man named Kenny
    Called himself Fenny, sometimes Denny
    It’s no skirt that wilts
    He prefers pink kilts
    And black stilettos of which he has many.

    :P

  46. Célestin says:

    There once was a man named Kenny
    He had written limericks so many
    His fans were cheerful
    To get such an earful
    Of so many limericks written by Kenny…

  47. Kenny Mah says:

    » Célestin
    There once was many different people
    Some were called Kenny and dressed in purple
    Some wrote limericks
    Some had nasty ticks
    Some wished they could get rid of their love handles… :P

  48. Jun says:

    lol u’re funny kenny :P (either tht or u seriously hav too much time in ur hands :>)

  49. If only those 2 had come to PJ with the other young man then the rising 3some would have metted D 4 virile rambostuous fellas within da H2O to complete the night’s filipinavanza , with full gusto all inclusive high teasers plus some

  50. Kenny Mah says:

    » Jun
    Time is hardly what I got, dear. I’m almost THIRTY, remember? :P

    » backStreetGluttons
    2, 3, 4, H20? That sure is a lot of numbers, man… LOL

  51. tigerfish says:

    Lousy? But it appeals to readers like myself who just like to read simply :D

  52. Nic (KHKL) says:

    Is food is the new limerick?
    or is poem the next picnic?
    cotton soft pav with colourful vocabularies?
    or 4-lined Blake with sweet strawberries?
    all is good, so take a pick!

    haha, i think i’ve lost that jiwang-ness for rhymes d… :(

  53. Kenny Mah says:

    » tigerfish
    Oh limericks are great! Don’t get me wrong, dear. It is my limericks that are lousy, hehe.

    » Nic (KHKL)
    Hahaha, I think I’m gonna put an end to the rhyming here and reply your comment in prose, not verse. :P

    But we don’t call you the Poet for nothing ma… ;)

  54. the_lighthouse says:

    am i too late to rhyme?
    i would for a dime
    maybe i need more time
    or risk getting fined!

    … how is that? lol

  55. Steven says:

    First monkeys, then marmalade
    Good friends and food on our plates!

    Er, that’s the best I can do. :P

  56. Kenny Mah says:

    » the_lighthouse
    Never to late to rhyme
    Though I lack the dime
    To give you more time
    Is surely a crime?

    Yep. I’m getting WORSE at this. :P

    » Steven
    I shan’t even try and attempt a reply to that in verse… LOL

  57. Bosscat says:

    Kenny,

    You buy flower buat apa?

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