.
There once was a man from Singapore
Whose hometown was really New Johore
His smile was pretty
His buns were meaty
And he spent ages on what he wore.
.
One fine Sunday he went to Bangsar
But was too early for the bazaar
So he sat and sat
Till his bum was flat
And bouncers kicked him out of the bar.
.
.
There once was a man from Singapore
Who found himself, in Bangsar, a bore
Pigeons sat on him
A statue he seemed
And they shitted on the clothes he wore.
.
So into the laundry he went nude
And washed his clothes while naked he stood
The girls were happy
To see this chappy
Who, like a forest, sure had some wood.
.
.
There once was a man from Singapore
Who met this fella from Bangalore
We call him Steve Steve
And give him much grief
And if he pouts, we simply ignore.
.
They danced all night and they danced all day
Till the neighbour’s dogs began to bay
Soon they got hungry
(Like, REALLY hungry)
So for some food they began to pray.
.
.
There once was a man from Singapore
And this other guy from Bangalore
Their tummies growling
So they went prowling
They wanted to makan, more and more.
.
Salmon and lamb, broccoli and clams
Saffron-infused rice with mashed wild yams
They kept on eating,
Eating and eating
Till their trousers split open like dams.
.
.
There once was a man from Singapore
Who ate with this guy from Bangalore
They were so well-fed
“No more food!” they pled,
“Or we will run back to New Johore!”
.
Instead they stayed in good ol’ Bangsar
Where each Sunday there’s a night pasar
They would buy flowers
And build fruit towers
And met this other chap Kenny Mah.
.
…but that’s another lousy limerick for another dreary day. Hehe.
.
.
~ * ~
.
Photographs taken at Bangsar Village II, Kuala Lumpur by Kenny Mah & Steve Steve. Design by Kenny Mah.
Okay, so I suck at limericks… but I thought it’d be fun to see what I could come up with off the cuff, so to speak. Me wonders what limericks you guys can come up with… Go on… Surprise me.
“his buns were meaty”?? dude, i wonder wat u wud’ve written if it was a “girl from singapore” ;P
» Jun
There once was a girl from Singapore
Whose creamy croissants we so adore
And her bee-stung lips
And her earthquake hips
Made her the stuff of legend and lore…
Didn’t know AWOL was from Singapore?!
There was once a man-pen called Kenny
Who did write a pretty penny
He twisted his words
To attract the birds
And he also got one rooster too many
HAHHAHAHAHAA. Oh my god, Kenny you chi ko pek!
There once was a guy wtih a site
Whose bark was worse than his bite
That cute sunny smile
Was really a guile
To hide his perverted side…
XD
There once was a boy
Where he came from, he was coy
But he kept us coming back for stories we enjoy
Whether or not it rhymed, still pretty like a koi!
Aaaahhh… we leave the writing to you Kenny!
“New Johore”? that’s johor bahru, right?
» Argus Limerickus
There once was a lady called Argus
Who knew how to kick up a good ruckus
She was of good grace
And was fair of face
And ran away to join the circus!
» Jesse
There once was a guy with a site
Who loved to bark, and then, nicely bite
His smile hid his wiles
His teeth: sparkling tiles
Pervert? You’re a hundred per cent RIGHT!
Ape ni chi ko pek? Mana ade?
» 550ml jar of faith
There once was a boy from Melaka
Some say from Teluk Belangka
But that is not true
Give credit that’s due
Please lah, he’s not quite so celaka…?
» spiller
Yes it is. And thank you for not replying in a limerick. I’m so regretting this now… LOL
(Damn tough to write leh…)
There was this guy called Kenny,
Whose friends and fans are many,
He has the looks,
And he writes e-books,
And sometimes, they are so funny!
And this guy called Kenny,
He makes my gloomy days all sunny,
He comes to my blog,
And as if in a dialogue,
Leaves his wonderful comments,
This guy called Kenny.
makes me feel like a kid once more reading from a big old poem book
hej! kenny…hahahha…i won’t commend with limerick too…great posting to start my weekend…;-)
How come you didn’t show us a pix of his “buns”?:P
» rokh
Ah… I used to love those! Big ol’ nursery rhyme books. I wonder if they still publish stuff like that anymore?
» danial ma
Haha, thanks. I didn’t realise how bad I was at rhyming till I decided to try and limerick an entire post! Still, it’s a nice start to the weekend, no? More eatin’, more chillin’ out, guys and girls…
» jemima
Those belong to a “paid” site. Here, I can only post stuff that is free ma… LOL
» kak teh
There once was this lady called Kak Teh
Who’d always stop to say “Hi!” and “Hey!“
Her words do appeal
They soothe and they heal
And keep you feeling warm night and day.
…okay, I’m officially all limericked out!
very light and humorous poem..i like!!!
LOL. funny post. and one of the most easy-to-understand post of yours. =P
*Who, like a forest, sure had some wood*
Very nicely put. Lol.
» lotsofcravings
Light for once, right? I’m not that heavy and “cheeem” as some might put it, haha.
» J2Kfm
LOL! Oh dear. *looks at comment above*
» Tummythoz
That was my fav line, for sure.
Off the cuff or on auto. Stanza after stanza. One-liner is for the stand-up comedian. Five-liners are for the poet. Both are art forms.
» Chin
“One-liner is for the stand-up comedian. Five-liners are for the poet.”
Hahaha… I love that! But it’s actually much harder to do them one-liners, don’t you? Comic timing is one of the highest artforms, truly.
they shitted on the clothes he wore.. hahahaha.. or is that they SHAT on the clothes he wore…?!
the gals loved him because he had WOOD!!!
oh wow…my morning just started to pick up… haha.. THANK YOU!
» cumidanciki
Hahaha, SHAT would be the correct word but it don’t have no two syllables that I needed…
Plus, SHITTED is just a whole new level of class, donthcathinkso?
Could you go back to the meaty buns you mentioned earlier?
hahahahahahaha!!
first of all i like New Johore.
and then… his BUNS were MEATY??? what is that supposed to mean??? oh… does it mean his bum? as in buntut? or…????
and what about… Who, like the forest, sure had some wood.… wahlau…does it mean what i think it means??
and then… dogs got bay one ar? i always thought they barked and growled…
and finally…til their trousers split open like dams… somehow i am tickled pink by this line!!! heeheeheeheeheee ~oh i am so evil la~
more limericks kennnnyyyy!!! limericks are fun!
err…umm…i am lost here
: ~)
Oh Kenny Kenny
You’re so funny
Arms are getting flabby
Good thing your teeth’s still shiny.
» Paul
Hahaha, which ones — the char siew pau or the dai bao? LOL
» lingzie
I think you just went and analysed every one of them limericks! *fainteds*
» jeff lee
Oh, don’t be. Just grin and bear with it; we’re a mad, mad bunch, we are.
let’s have both the charsiew pau and the dai pau!
» keropokman
Oh Kenny is indeed getting fatty
And my, aren’t some of us getting catty?
I’m not so funny
But my nose is runny
If you didn’t know better, I’m turning batty!
… and I am with all these limericks!
» spiller
LOL. Oh if you only knew what those terms mean for us… a private joke. Hehe.
Great limericks and photos! =)
there was once a guy called kenny
who had one beer too many
so he went to sleep
it was very deep
and he woke up with a big beer belly!
*runs and hide*
» Caramel
Thanks!
» ~ elfie ~
There once was a guy named Kenny
Who had one wisecrack too many
So he went to bed
And had dreams instead
Of a time when he was just uncanny…
Okay, so not doing this anymore. I suck at it! LOL
There once was a guy named Kenny
Who loved to spend a pretty penny
He bought lots of shirts
Ties, pants, even skirts
And then he’d drink pints of Kilkenny!
» Célestin
T’was once a reader named Célestin
Whose rhymes were as smooth as satin
He left small verses
And knew great curses
In Tamil, Malay and Mandarin!
(Berbalas pantun pulak ni…)
is that bangsar village 2? i recognise the carrot cake from marmalade. delicious and goes so well with ur limericks! =)
btw, are those veges from the pasar malam? lol
» masni
1. Yeppers. Marmalade @ BVII it is. I love that carrot cake!
2. The Telawi Pasar Malam @ Bangsar, yes. The veges are really fresh and the flowers very cheap! Got these for the apartment, woo-hoo!
okay..i just fainted…
There once was a man named Kenny
Who had a best friend named Denny
When Denny was unwell
Kenny would always tell
Cos Denny would be whining all night to Kenny…
» jeff lee
*runs out and buys smelling salts for jeff*
» Célestin
There once was this dude named Célestin
Who could sing showtunes in Latin
He went to Vegas
And sang till Christmas
But no one understood a word of his Latin…
Hehe.
There once was a man named Kenny
Who was terrified of his Aunt Annie
She would scream loudly
He would hide proudly
In the closet of the house of his Aunt Annie…
» Célestin
There once was a man named Kenny
Who really did have an Aunt Annie
She was quite scary
And didn’t like no fairies
So we sent a swarm of them after Aunt Annie.
(Only we didn’t. Ecks.)
There once was a man named Kenny
Who sometimes pretend to be Fenny
Does that sound funny
He dress looking queenie
In dresses from the closet of Aunt Annie.
» keropokman
There once was a man named Kenny
Called himself Fenny, sometimes Denny
It’s no skirt that wilts
He prefers pink kilts
And black stilettos of which he has many.
There once was a man named Kenny
He had written limericks so many
His fans were cheerful
To get such an earful
Of so many limericks written by Kenny…
» Célestin
There once was many different people
Some were called Kenny and dressed in purple
Some wrote limericks
Some had nasty ticks
Some wished they could get rid of their love handles…
lol u’re funny kenny
(either tht or u seriously hav too much time in ur hands :>)
If only those 2 had come to PJ with the other young man then the rising 3some would have metted D 4 virile rambostuous fellas within da H2O to complete the night’s filipinavanza , with full gusto all inclusive high teasers plus some
» Jun
Time is hardly what I got, dear. I’m almost THIRTY, remember?
» backStreetGluttons
2, 3, 4, H20? That sure is a lot of numbers, man… LOL
Lousy? But it appeals to readers like myself who just like to read simply
Is food is the new limerick?
or is poem the next picnic?
cotton soft pav with colourful vocabularies?
or 4-lined Blake with sweet strawberries?
all is good, so take a pick!
haha, i think i’ve lost that jiwang-ness for rhymes d…
» tigerfish
Oh limericks are great! Don’t get me wrong, dear. It is my limericks that are lousy, hehe.
» Nic (KHKL)
Hahaha, I think I’m gonna put an end to the rhyming here and reply your comment in prose, not verse.
But we don’t call you the Poet for nothing ma…
am i too late to rhyme?
i would for a dime
maybe i need more time
or risk getting fined!
… how is that? lol
First monkeys, then marmalade
Good friends and food on our plates!
Er, that’s the best I can do.
» the_lighthouse
Never to late to rhyme
Though I lack the dime
To give you more time
Is surely a crime?
Yep. I’m getting WORSE at this.
» Steven
I shan’t even try and attempt a reply to that in verse… LOL
Kenny,
You buy flower buat apa?
Hehe, just for decoration lah. And to appease my heart’s desire.