Fried Chillies & Feisty Chicks

.

The ladies, they do, of course, spice up your life. With their smiles enchant­ing and their wiles beguil­ing, we are gladly snared in their soft and ten­der snatches, their slow swoon­ing upon our big, strong arms (even if ours aren’t, not really). Women made of iron, of steel, sleek and shiny but never cold to touch.

Bryan Adams demands of us whether we have ever truly, truly loved a woman; I ask, have you touched one? Truly, truly touched her?

Women are made for touch; some say the women whom we watch over and lust after are not women at all — real women are made of touch, your touch­ing them, their touch­ing in return. The inti­macy of skin and hair and sweat and the pangs that attack you when you are soaked in their smell.

Touch her. Touch her today before she drifts away into another fig­ment of your sad imagination.

.

.

The alco­hol does the trick.

Every time. The flow­ers in her hair you have may plucked from a con­ve­nient vase of water and placed them upon her with the sweet­est of caresses, but it don’t mat­ter. What counts is the alcohol.

A good woman wor­thy and wise would know her drink, and hold it too.

She can dif­fer­en­ti­ate an ale from a lager, and dis­tin­guish a whisky from a whiskey (and not by the sin­gu­lar, extra ‘e’ either). She can sip on her sake, swal­low her ouzo, chug on bai­jiu and throw back her vodka like a real Russ­ian. Never try to out­drink these sirens of sack-wines, these medusas of mead; they’ll have you flat on your back before you know it (and you may well enjoy that too).

Still, what do I know? I never touch a drop myself.

.

.

The colour of money would dye the tresses of many pretty lasses, but a true femme fatale does not believe in rain­bows, only the crisp lay­ers of a thick wad of cash. Bags of them, neatly packed, untrace­able num­bers. They have no time for song, no time for trou­ba­dours wast­ing their dreams on a unat­tain­able fantasy.

Women are fried chill­ies, they bite and they burn, they burn and they bite, yet once you have had a taste, never would you give up this ride…

.

~ * ~

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Pho­tographs by Hairy Berry, Lyri­cal Lemon­grass and Ciki of Cumi & Ciki.
Design by Kenny Mah.
The 1st Annual Food­sters’ Awards by Fried­Chillies.

May 22, 2009 – 5:18 pm | By Kenny Mah | Posted in Arts, Food, Friends, Life, Malaysia, Photography, Stories | Tagged , | Comments (52)

52 Comments

  • J2Kfm wrote:
    May 22, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    wait, why oh why was that feisty nomad fan­ning her­self with RM50 notes?!!!
    lucky dev­ils y’all .…. to be present for such glam­ourous event.

  • the_lighthouse wrote:
    May 22, 2009 at 11:25 pm

    everyone’s smil­ing! :D

  • ladyironchef wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 12:29 am

    when i was read­ing this line, “heir slow swoon­ing upon our big, strong arms (even if ours aren’t, not really…” I was rolling all over the floor, well maybe a bit exag­ger­at­ing, but damn funny. LOL

    this post is kinda out­dated bro! i was expect­ing some Lon­don post haha. Jet lag’s over, time to work eh. heh

    I love your descrip­tions of the ladies, and the alcohol-effect, well writ­ten! :)

  • gina wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 10:13 am

    A drunken woman is never a pretty sight. LOL!

    It has been a long, looooong time since I last got­ten intoxicated.

  • backStreetGluttons wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 11:53 am

    No doubt the first woman cometh from a man to com­fort and please and in the realm of the Heav­enly Stars since a mil­lion years or so ago they have clev­erly becometh equal , in many cases more so …while some are as you have ten­derly men­tioned becometh…

    ..sweet .fried chill­ies
    LOL !

  • Poh Chu wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Wine, wal­let, women = Very Happy men? :P

  • jordan wrote:
    May 24, 2009 at 10:06 am

    real women for real men? never knew cili padi cld be so spicy! ;)

  • jemima wrote:
    May 24, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    It should be But­ter­fly & Bee, no? :P

  • thenomadGourmand wrote:
    May 24, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    hhaaha.. we hot fiery siz­zling women eh? dun play play! ;p

  • cumidanciki wrote:
    May 24, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    lol:P wot an honor to be fea­tured on life for begin­ners.. ahem. ppl as me, yar why? i say.. lai­dat lar.. :P :P

  • jencooks wrote:
    May 24, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    I see dog­gies bag for take-away, not door gifts?
    Ooh Ciki’s smile so captivating.

  • Paul wrote:
    May 25, 2009 at 8:26 am

    Ah the for­bid­den tastes of women and chill­ies! Can I make a joke about swing­ing to the other side? :)

  • HairyBerry wrote:
    May 26, 2009 at 9:46 am

    dude, they should give you an award that night for “the most cre­ative descrip­tion of women” la.

    i lurve my chill­ies, be it cili padi, ker­ing, with kicap, pick­led or blended. wasabi too. ok, that’s tech­ni­cally not a type of chilli. hehe..oh, we are STILL talk­ing about chill­ies here, right? hehehehe…

  • Jun wrote:
    May 26, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    eh why we we both men­tioned bryan adams in our lat­est posts so ngam one ;p

    dude, seri­ously, u dun drink? never ever touched a drop of that sweet elixir?? ;>

  • Lyrical Lemongrass wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Scene 1
    Ciki: WTF I smile big big and LL’s cam­era focus­ing on stoopid kenny instead.
    Kenny: Yar, why?

    Scene 2
    LL: It’s truf­fle oil dahling.
    Ciki: Yar, why?

    Scene 3
    Becks: I killed Chucky for 250 bucks.
    LL: Yar, why?

  • ~ elfie ~ wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Sis­ters around the world UNITE! :D

  • fatboybakes wrote:
    May 28, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    kenny mah, what an inspi­ra­tional post. looks like i missed a fun event, and am con­stantly reminded by the numer­ous posts that i did. sigh. its amaz­ing what pho­tog­ra­phy can do to a woman hor.…

  • bosscat wrote:
    May 30, 2009 at 11:43 am

    woman is fried chill­ies?? fried is heaty… chilly is spicy… wau.… good com­bi­na­tion descrip­tion for women.…

  • thenomadGourmand wrote:
    May 31, 2009 at 12:36 am

    LOL at AWOL’s com­ment. though I stil dunno what this chucky biz abt..all twit­ter­ing on it last week! ohhh no.. was it KORN?

    @fbb: aiyoo..kenny should hv air-brushed my pic more! ;p

  • Girl Japan wrote:
    May 31, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    It sounds like a mad, fun event for sure, what fun!!!! I just love a gal who can throw back = )

  • the_lighthouse wrote:
    May 31, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    just noticed the dog­gie bags com­ment. do u always have door gifts with ur parties?

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 22, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    We were indeed very for­tu­nate to be invited by our gra­cious hosts Adly, Riz, et al of Fried­Chillies. And the glam­our was not less­ened by how casual and warm the atmos­phere was at the event. Def­i­nitely went well with the awards cat­e­gory of every day Malaysian streetfood.

    As for that feisty nomad, haha — I best let her speak for her­self… :P

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 9:54 am

    And so they are… Good food and even bet­ter com­pany does that to ya. :D

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 9:55 am

    I know, I know… it’s out­dated but going over a thou­sand UK pho­tos is kinda scary to me now, plus I’m still trav­el­ling for work. :P

    Excuses all, I know. Okay, get­ting at them posts, sir!

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Haha, that’s why I said she’d have to be able to hold her drink — just like these ladies here! ;)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Ooh, sir, I do love me some of those tasty, feisty fried chill­ies! ;)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 23, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    I bet! lol

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:46 am

    Oh, it gets spicier, mate, with every lit­tle deli­cious bite… ;)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:46 am

    You mean sting like a bee, float like a but­ter­fly? Hahaha…

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:47 am

    No, ma’am! Wouldn’t dare to play play with any of you lah… :P

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:49 am

    Nay, m’lady — it’s an hon­our for me to fea­ture your lus­cious vis­age upon my pedes­trian html pages… ;)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:50 am

    Dog­gie bags = door gifts = lotsa lil sur­prises inside! :)

    Her smile cap­ti­vates one and all, indeed.… How can one not fall for her? I sure did… (Shhh. don’t tell Prada, ok?)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:51 am

    You get my swing vote, sir! LOL

    P.S. We should so dis­cuss the mer­its of the Kin­sey spec­trum one day.…

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Ooh, screw chill­ies — I want my wasabi too! Hot, hot, hot!

    P.S. Of course, we’re still talk­ing about chill­ies here, aren’t we? Hehe.

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:57 am

    Very the ngam, indeed. Cos we’re tight, sista, very the tight! :)

    Of course, I do drink lah… Just had some soju yes­ter­day. But the nar­ra­tor of this piece is a tee­to­taller or maybe he/she is just lying? You never know.…

  • ~ elfie ~ wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    hmm… what was in those dog­gie bags? dog­gie bis­cuits? hehe…

  • jemima wrote:
    May 27, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    LOL„ sure why not? After all, he’s the great­est. ;)

    Actu­ally this post title could be renamed as The Mis­tresses of Spices. :lol:

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    Lotsa good­ies for good boys and good girls! But for the naughty ones, when they opened their bags, they were hor­ri­fied to find… [ Fill In The Blank ]

    :P

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 28, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    Yeah, I’m with you on that one — def­i­nitely one of the great­est ever! :)

    And I like your ver­sion of an alter­nate title, sounds kinda like a Mira Nair film, no? And we’ve got the sexy ladies to star in it oredi, hehe.

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 28, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Girl, you are SOOOO evil. :D

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 28, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    P.S. Re: Scene 2. Haiyo, it did look like a small bot­tle of pure ine­bri­a­tion, which I guess, used in the right way, truf­fle oil also qual­i­fies? :P

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 28, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    And Broth­ers around the world, let’s CHASE after all these sis­ters! lol :P

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 28, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Don’t worry, there will always be next year’s awards. Plus, this will prob­a­bly be the last post you’d see on it since no other blog­ger posts quite as late as I do. Pai seh lah, come to think of that.

    It was a great event, very fun, but oh it would have been more fun with you round, boss. :)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 28, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    P.S. Dunno what LL, Ciki and Ms. Nomad gonna say about your last com­ment on the won­ders of pho­tog­ra­phy though…

    P.P.S. Didja read LL’s com­ment above? :lol:

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 31, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Hahaha, I like that — “heaty” — but not the sort of “heati­ness” we get from eat­ing heaty foods but the heat of red-blooded woman, no? ;)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 31, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    What on earth is KORN??? I saw you guys all hav­ing that word in some form or another in your tweets… con­sider me lost; another inside joke, issit? :P

    As for air­brush­ing, aiks… I don’t do any of that lah, my mod­els appear only with their nat­ural beauty, ahem ahem. ;)

  • Poh Chu wrote:
    May 31, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    Heaty women now? Wah it gets spicier and spicier! ;)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 31, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    “I just love a gal who can throw back”

    Make that the two of us! :D

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    May 31, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    Ready for Round 2? Hahaha…

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    Jun 1, 2009 at 8:57 am

    Well, this wasn’t a party I hosted, mind you. It was organ­ised by the good peo­ple of FriedChillies.com but gen­er­ally it is nice to have door gifts for guests, though we don’t always man­age this.

    You know what the best door gift is? A HUGE hug! :)

  • the_lighthouse wrote:
    Jun 1, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    ROFL

    here’s a huge hug for u too!

    ~ ~ H U G S ! ! ~ ~

    :)

  • Kenny Mah wrote:
    Jun 2, 2009 at 12:46 am

    Awww… I love read­ers who give hugs… it’s truly the gift that keeps giv­ing! :)

    *hugs back*

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