.
The morning air shimmers in your throat, glides in like a crisp phantom; your nostrils flare gently like a mountain blossom awakening. This is only half way up, you know this, but the view is already magnificent.
She tells you that she cried watching the DVDs of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset you lent her. Surely they aren’t weepies, you question her, you remember the films differently. She cried at the ending of the first film and the beginning of its sequel. So much wasted time, so many lost years. Lovers who should have been, who never were, never could be.
We wish for happy endings but more often than not, there are always more chapters filled with bitter regret and missed chances. If only, if only…
You put on your coat, against the chill. You’re not wearing anything beneath but the sheen of your lover’s kisses, the warmth of embryonic embraces in the night, the dried sweat and slipperiness that attached you both together, like eels, like tigers in the dark of the night, the sweet darkness of the night. Never letting go, not even when you know you eventually have to, never letting go. Now the sun is coming up, dawn is breaking, and something else as well, you reckon. It’s almost time to leave.
Do you remember the closing scene of the second film? How Céline dances to Nina Simone’s “Just in Time” while mimicking her moves, slow and unconcerned, having all the time in the world, while Jesse simply looks on at her, happier than he’s ever been. He’s married, with a kid, and a plane he’s gonna fail to catch if he doesn’t leave soon. But who could leave?
She’s dancing, he’s watching her, they’re smiling, all the years of longing not really mattering any more…
It’s time to leave, you really must go. But there are no regrets, no bitterness, nothing missed, nothing taken and nothing lost. Nothing but this moment. Not never were, not never will be. For now, you are. You are together.
One last kiss and you both say goodbye.
.
~ * ~
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Words, photograph & design by Kenny Mah.
Mt. Kinabalu, Sabah.
(Also: Sabah I & Sabah II)
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Notes on the various reasons why this writer STILL has not delivered the 3rd instalment of the Great British Invasion (nor indeed the promised segments on Macau and Hong Kong):
1. So I am back from Macau… but work’s been crazy again and I just missed not one, but TWO surprise birthday parties while I was working in Sabah…
2. … and there’s more work-related travel to come, so I expect future blog posts to be much delayed. But never fear, true believers, for I shall still blog, even if it takes me weeks and months (but let’s hope not, let’s really hope not)…
Hangadon zou diau. Panau poh.
(translates as I miss you. Goodbye.)
“STILL has not.…” HAHA we have faith
IF, and IF. They often seem to make or break the numerous things that happened to us. I often wonder if I never have told you, will the outcome be different? But I’m glad I did. It’s better that I told you than regret not telling you, it meant hell lots of difference. What if, doesn’t matter anymore, we both understand it could never be. And now we say goodbye, otherwise I’ll surely never want to let go.
Sorry for the rant, your blog has become a place for me to say whatever i cannot say elsewhere
dont worry we shall all wait patiently..
Awwww… both Before Sunrise & Before Sunset were just breathtaking weren’t they? And the final scene when Celine, still dancing, simply states to Jesse, you’re going to miss that plane, and he answers just as simply back, I know… how can anyone NOT cry?? I remember standing up in the theatre after this, clapping my hands loudly tears streaming down my face. And I don’t even do crying at movies, OK!
gorgeous shot.. u climbed it ar?
So syrupy so bitter. The joining together and the parting of ways.
ya lor dude, long time no see already. life must be hectic these days, i guess.
take care and remember to eat, no matter what!
cos a hungry man makes an angry man.
Greatings, Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!
Saurooon
*gasp*
*pengsan*
One of my favorite-test places in the world! Kinabalu Park! At the chalet facing the mountain complete with fireplace!
*gasp*
*jealous* *jealous*
Lucky I’m going next month!
Didn’t you just love it?
And isn’t seeing her, wrapped and shrouded in mists of love simply … breath-taking?
Ah … I love it.
And thank YOU for … reminding me of it!
Hope you had a brill time there!!!
Cheers,
Ken.
me is back almost every weekend la..hehe
if not, we meet in sg la.
aiyoh, ini minggu kita orang pergi road trip la, dude. haha!
The Romance of Gunung Kinabalu! The epic love story of 2009!
separation’s the hardest word… =(
Travelling again? aiyo, whn we gonna sit dwn and makan??
I jz met ladyironchef the otr nite! What a story!
sabah sounds beautiful and magical place.
Where else in Sabah did you visit besides Mt. Kinabalu? Looks beautiful.
Hangadon zou diau, too.
1. You do? You guys really still have faith I’ll finish them missing segments? Haha, that’s more faith than I have really… But a promise is a promise…
2. Don’t worry about “rants” on my blog. So long as they aren’t hurtful to anybody, it’s fine. It adds to what I hope this blog represents also — “We all have a story. What’s yours?”
That is the tagline, the blogline, after all.
I’m just wondering if the object of your affections is reading these comments too?
Of course, we will all wait patiently, if need to, we will bug and pester u everyday! haha. yeah your tagline says everything, everybody have a story to tell.. heh of course not she’s not, lifeforbeginners is my secret hide-out to say whatever i cannot say elsewhere ma
Awww, I’m touched, Joe, I really am. *sniffs sniffs*
I know! That’s so the scene, man… A perfect final shot of a film… they don’t make films like that anymore, sighs… I feel like I’m growing old with them also… I was in my 20’s like their characters were in Before Sunrise… and now I’m entering my 30’s, their age in Before Sunset… it’s like, we do grow older and we grow up some, but never all the way…
Not really, just drove up half-way point, to the Mt. Kinabalu Park… still, it was magnificent oredi. Whets my appetite for an actual climb next year, yes?
“So syrupy so bitter.”
Like cough syrup hor?
Some might argue a hungry man is a horny man, but er, let’s not get into that…
We gotta catch up soon lah… when you next in KL?
I had a most brilliant time with Lady Kinabalu and I’m sure you’ll have a blast too. Dance under the stars, surrounded by the swirling mists and some sad song that reminds you what it’s like to be happy, my friend…
Neato. Just note that I don’t really update daily, mate…
Then jom mari meet up this weekend lah… before I start a-travellin’ again…
Oops. Penang, rite? Sorry… dah lupa.
I have no idea how I missed out on this comment of yours, but hey, better late than never, right?
As for a secret hideout, hmm… I’m not too sure how “secret” of a hideout a public blog is, bro…
Epic? Nothing’s really epic anymore, dear…
“it’s like, we do grow older and we grow up some, but never all the way…”
but can we grow old without the wrinkles? =p
Maybe if we had a fortune to spend on wrinkle cream or a complete makeover?
I thought HARDEST was the hardest word? *lawak bodoh*
Yups… major load of travelling… which explains why I only just saw your comment, almost a week late. Eesh…
It is, mate. One of the most beautiful places I’ve visited in Malaysia, and I’ve been to every state. Simply gorgeous and breathtaking scenery.
Mostly around the town area of Kota Kinabalu but also Kundasang. The Filipino Market is a riot of sights, sounds, and SMELLS.