.
Tell you something. The way to a lady’s heart must be through her stomach. The sweetness and the flavours she savour must pass through them irresistible lips, don’t they? Careful when you brush the grease and the cream from them lips, she might bite. And bite oh so nicely.
Still, let me tell you something more. If you are to woo a lady, to encourage her to eat her way into your heart… try to avoid any form of durian the first time, even if it’s chocolate durian. Some heavenly pleasures are meant for the second date and then some…
.
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Tell you something. The monkeys never come out no more.
I mean at Batu Caves, of course. The 272 steps, the Hindu temple at the foot of the limestone hill, the temples inside the caves, the flutter of pigeons, feathered rats with wings as one of my Italian friends reminded me, these you get all the time. But them monkeys have been missing for the past few visits I’ve made with my guests.
Today? Today there are monkeys everywhere. Big Papa Monkeys, saucy Mama Monkeys and sweet lil Baby Monkeys all over the place. Eating bananas and whatever else the tourists manage to dig up from their pockets and their knapsacks. Stealing hats and posing for Polaroid moments.
What made this trip different from all the rest? Maybe it’s my guest. Maybe the monkeys recognise one of their own..?
.
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Tell you something. Coffee tastes like coffee.
Except when it doesn’t. How do you persuade a friend who’s visiting you from New York City by way of Hong Kong that Malaysian coffee is something different altogether from the usual Starbucks fare we get everywhere? Ipoh white coffee and Kemamam. Batu Pahat. Aik Cheong and Kluang. I bet there’s kopi from Sabah and Sibu too!
Let me tell you something else: Wherever it comes from, what brand might it be, coffee just tastes that much better when I’m drinking it with you.
.
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Tell you something. I rarely go home.
Go home to my hometown, I mean. It’s too slow for me. A land of retirees. People always say it’s nice, and it is. But nice ain’t exciting. So mostly I take my guests from overseas to Malacca, our self-professed Historical City of Malaysia, the place where It All Started. The Stadhuys and the Clock Tower. All those red buildings and that nifty anecdote about betel-leaves and spitting-staining. The ghostly mouse-deer stationed at the roundabout like a David waiting for another Goliath. A Famosa. The fort and our lost fortunes. Them chicken rice balls at the corner of the bridge over Sungai Melaka. Jonker Street: antiques, fake and genuine, and thousands of useless knick-knacks.
And when we stop and rest and sup on some ice-cold cendol, laced with the sweetest of gula Melaka, let me tell you something, that this is the life — and what a life it is!
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Words & design by Kenny Mah. Photographs by Devil Wears Prada, Superekin & Kenny Mah.
Special thanks to Keropokman and Lyrical Lemongrass. This post wouldn’t be possible without them.
Oh what a life indeed! But let me correct you, the way to a woman’s heart is DEFINITELY NOT through her stomach! That only applies to you guys!
And BTW, you want monkeys or you don’t want monkeys now? Got monkeys oso grumble, no monkeys oso grumble.….sigh.…what a life!!
Dear Kenny,
Gah!
I was bowled over that there was a new entry. Been a while, bro. 
I love Ipoh white coffee, have it on special order from Old Town White Coffee factory (a friend works there) to get 2 bags a week.
I am in love with it. Hazelnut or original, don’t matter. I love it.
I also adore and love Starbucks. I’m one stamp away from my 2010 planner
And I only started the card 2 weeks ago. 
Your friend is cute. Not the Devil (he’s cute too, but taken
), the other one.
Ha ha …
Ok … take care …
Ken.
i must say that the way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach too. mmm…ok perhaps that’s just me.
welcome back to madness, kenny mah!
There really is coffee from Sabah! Supposedly pretty good.
Glad to see you back in action again. Miss those post of yours…
wow! love the new banner.. looks so sazzy! hugs ciki
btw, pls kindly update our link to http://www.cumidanciki.com .. thanks so much!
yeah, i go back to malacca twice a year at the most. xmas and cny, never spending more than two nights there. can’t imagine i’ll ever live there again, but never say never, i guess…
Back to bloggin means u have more time for yourself i hope
Those work days u put in are crazy
I’m a food blogger but seriously I don’t think to win my heart is through my stomach,
LOL
I’ve been to Batu cave but not Ipoh nor Malacca yet.…. I want a cup of white coffee!!!
hey you havent been writing for a while eh?
i LOVE Melaka. oh wait, if I go for another visit come Dec, can bring me around?
i dunwan Satay Celup only. anything else will do.
Hometown is when the young returns old , or issit ? Coffee is best when you are not thinking about it , ain’t it ? and yes the 272 steps are actually many thousands if you counted those you stepped in , past those obese monkeys and the pampered pigeons & Lord Khrisna. Still its wonderful when its a 3some
)
Tell you something…
I hardly go back to my hometown either — between work and the madness of life, it’s maybe only twice a year or less. But there’s caramel custard to rival any other custard on the face of the planet (I should know, I tried searching for some to fill the hole when I was overseas and it only worked when I made it myself). There’s the hor fun, which is thin and fine and translucent and absolutely delicious, and unlike anything else anywhere.
Tell you something else…
Next time I go back, I’ll bring back some Ipoh White Coffee for you.
PS: Seeing and CK on Sunday made my afternoon.
Thank you so much for coming, it was a joy to sing for friends!
Still like Melaka quite a lot actually
It’s restful!
Lemme tell you a secret, the monkeys came out cos you brought along some cutie. Now you tell me who this cutie is? LOL
tell you something, I’m so damn glad you are back!
everybody is so fast leaving comments! see so many people missed you!
tell u something.. I am glad you are back!
yay, you are back.
love to read your posts
Finally a new post! Don’t leave us waiting so long next time, ok? =)
Note to myself: Must come again! =)
tell you something.
it’s monday today! haha…
tell u something– i rarely go home too. in fact, i rarely miss home nowadays. strange? sad? or just plain… flat?
let me tell you something, regardless exciting or not, it is nice to have a sense of where you are from
it has been two years since I last read your blog.… hahahaha.….
what’s a life?
life is beautiful when it’s complete with history…and built up our future with this beautiful recalled.
what’s a life?
life is beautiful when it’s come with vision.
life is beautiful because i am blessed with family and friends.
what’s a life…
goodbye 2009..welcome 2010..hoping will be good 1..
1. I guess the women I know are mostly either food bloggers or ladies that prefer a succulent leg of lamb over a string of pearls. Blame them. Haha.
2. Monkeys: Want atau tak want? That is the question…
(Considers A Lil Fat Monkey and Cumi & Ciki)
… better say want.
Heya Ken,
I know it has been awhile since my last post, a month or so, I believe. Mucho apologies… just had this big event to plan and execute… but on the bright side, it went off smoothly and I’m very happy.
Btw, am totally jealous that you have Ipoh white coffee on special order! It’s really the only thing I like about Old Town Kopitiam (the food is very passable), but I’m not one for authenticity… I tend to like cham (kopi/tea mix) ais wherever I go…
And Starbucks? People may bitch about them, but I find it simply convenient and for chilling out.
I’ll pass the compliment to my friend Superekin, who’s now in Macau, haha.
Madness? I never left, not really.
I will make note of that for my next trip to Sabah. Thanks, bro!
Aww, that’s so sweet of you to say so, dear. I’m certainly glad to be back…
Sazzy? I love that word… The banner for this post is only gonna be up for as long as this post is the most recent one, though. The moment I post again, there it goes! *poof!*
Only Xmas and CNY? You just made me feel so much better about myself, hehe.
Hey Kenny,
No need to apologize … your adoring legion of fans await patiently … ha ha
Happy to hear about your successful event … anything we might’ve heard of? 
Hah, no need to be jealous … I can always reserve if you ever want. My friend would be more than happy, I’m certain. There was a time that I had made advanced bookings for 27 packs
for friends of course. I would’ve been bouncing off the walls with that copious amount of caffeine in me. 
Starbucks is one of my favorite places to chillax in. Seriously. Music’s good, as is the free Internet. Sofas could be bigger, but I’m not really complaining.
Glad that you’re back and yeah, like cumiciki mentioned, the banner rawks. Oh yeah (CUMICIKI: your blog makes me SO hungry at work. Not a good time to read your blog …)
Oh and yeah — pass the compliment on.
See ya around!
Ken.
Hey Ken,
My “adoring legion of fans”? Where got? I am fortunate to have a few dedicated readers for whom I am very grateful for, but fans? Haha, you prolly mean Lyrical Lemongrass or FatBoyBakes or Cumi & Ciki.
Thanks for the offer of reserving some Ipoh white coffee for me. I’ll certainly take you up on that when I’m in dire need of an extreme caffeine fix. To chillax, as you put it…
And the compliment? Passed on with pleasure.
Ah well, it’s close to the end of the year now. Things are finally lightening up, thankfully.
Oh gosh, the ladies are all abandoning me here…
You totally need to go to Malacca — esp. Jonker Street — you’ll love it!
A month plus, at last count. But like riding a bicycle, one does get back into the groove of it with practice.
And let me know when you’re visiting Malacca — if I’m back then, I’d totally bring you around.
Pampered pigeons sound about right. But obese monkeys? Where got? Quite slim what. Can still jump off all the tourists’ heads and all… LOL
Forget the Ipoh White Coffee, bring me the caramel custard!!! Hahaha…
Just kiddin’. I think I gained a few kilos just reading your delicious comment here…
It was a joy to sit as part of the audience and be really, truly entertained as we weren’t ever before. Truly Malaysian is how we’d put it, to cop a line from your group (and we know where that line was copped from also, haha).
Your every knowing wink at us added to the enjoyment of the show. You guys ROCK!!! KL Young Singers F.O.R.E.V.E.R.!!!
True, but sometime so restful I can lose my mind… I need frenetic energy… Only urbania provides that, methinks.
Haha, I’ll tell you when you take me and Devil out for dinner… LOL
That’s sweet of you, bro… and somehow Cumi & Ciki left almost the same comment as you even though I hadn’t approved your comment when she left hers! Incredible.
I am too. *looks at ladyironchef’s comment above*
I am also pretty amazed. Haha…
More coming, I promise!
KL Young Singers, a new band?
Young but not new lah. More about them here.
Okies! Might even have one up today! Hehe.
Thanks!!
ROFL… (and so the sarkiness continues…)
Hmm. I guess I’m kinda the same way too. I think it’s part of growing up and making a life of our own. Having said that, I plan to head home more often in 2010. Family ties are one of the best things in life, really.
I’m from the Historical City of Malaysia, the place where it all started… What does that say about me, I wonder?
U r really funny!!@##@
I don’t think A Lil Fat Monkey and Ciki would agree…
TWO YEARS??? What kept you away for so long? Hahaha…