You stab at the pieces of salad – a lettuce leaf, a scrap of beef bacon – and you tell me about the battles you have had with your students, their teachers, the parents, the whole circus. Everyone has sky-high expectations these days, everyone wants only the best results, but no one seems to want to put in the hours, the hard work. You are shaking your head even as I nod. I understand. I see. I get you.
You tell me about your recent trip back to your hometown for your reunion dinner, for precious time spent with your family. You tell me nothing is certain, that it can all change in an instant. That’s life, I said, that’s how it works. I consider and then I ask you, carefully mentioning that this is probably one of those clichéd questions folks ask when they have minds far too idle, what would you do if this was the last year of your life.
To be more specific, I tell you I don’t mean this to be what you would like to have achieved – this is not about successes. I don’t mean ticking off items from a bucket list either – forget bungee-jumping or backpacking in Peru. I mean to ask you, what would you do to satisfy yourself that, when you go, that this life of yours has been enough?
You raise your head from contemplating your salad and look me straight in the eye. You want to spend more time with people who matter, you say. People who matter to you. You don’t want to be remembered as the best singer in town or someone who made a lot of money; you want to have been a good friend and a good daughter. With the most important things in life, there are no battles. You know what matters.
And so we do, I say. We know what matters to us, we do.
Kenny Mah believes in the good in people. He has been blogging for over ten years. No, his hands aren't tired. Yet.
I think we always know, don’t we. It’s just whether we -want- to put in the effort, because we take for granted some things will always be there until it’s too late. This year? Let’s live like it matters because in the end, it -does-. It was a lovely afternoon, m’dear. Thank you for the precious time.
@Spindle Girl: It does matter, it really does.
And yes, it’s all about the work. That in itself can be the most satisfying thing, more so than the results.
Here’s to more salads and French toast in the months to come!
it might actually be easier to make a lot of money (or be a good singer) than to be a good friend/son/brother. and more often than not, we’re drawn to what’s easier, right.
how apt it is for me to be reading this now, at a time when in the past six hours, i haven’t been very good at all. *dashes off in a cryptic swirl of mist*
@Sean: Hmm. I have to say that since I’m neither a good singer (or any sort of singer at all) nor do I own a mint, it might just be easier to be a decent friend. Mostly that involves more listening and less talking, and lots of hugs.
You haven’t been very good at all? Is this a clandestine affair that you have been having without informing your adoring fans and readers? I shall text you and find out. Heh.
I have friends whose parents put all the blame on the teacher instead of their child themselves or themselves, when their child don’t try hard enough or when they as parents, don’t put in the effort to teach their kids.
I just don’t get it.
Is it so difficult for people realize that As or H1s don’t come easy? They don’t miraculously fall from the sky. Blood, sweat and tears are needed for them to appear in your transcript. Similarly, to be successful in one’s career, relationship or family matters, a lot of effort is needed.
@Michelle Chin: Uhm, I think the point my friend was trying to make (if any) is that grades and academic results aren’t everything. Kids need more than that to grow and develop. Also, our achievements in these areas do NOT define us. What a shame if we allow them to.
This person sounds like me.
@B: We all have a little bit of that person inside us. *hugs*
We really do know what matters. It’s only that sometimes, this knowledge gets hidden and squeezed into some tight, dark corner of our minds, and we simply forget that it’s there.
Knowing what really matters and sticking to it is difficult these days, what with the materialistic mentality that is modern society.
@Michelle: Amen to that, sister. *smiles*