We sit in the car. There is no where else to go.
The girls have you boxed in, a prisoner-of-war in the backseat. We turn from the front, wielding our weapon of choice, a small silver box. I open the lid and the treasure within is gleaming under the interior light. A simple scheme — a chocolate durian cake for a durian virgin.
Jenny tells you it’s not too bad – it tastes like sweet garlic, she says. Jess simply states that if they had to taste it (Jess last year, Jenny two years ago), then you will jolly well do so too. CK merely sniggers, malevolently.
I shove the chocolate durian cake under your nose, and I say, “Eat.”
And so, bravely, you cut into it with the plastic fork provided. You lift up a fairly sizeable chunk. You hesitate for half a second – “it smells,” you squeak – before you swallow the entire piece.
We wait.
You are unable to speak. We tell you to drink some water and swallow. More water, more. Your face looks as shell-shocked as Bambi’s when caught in the headlights of a six-ton tank. More water, more.
When you finally do speak, you tell us that it taste even worse than you imagined. You stare daggers at Jenny and tell her it tastes nothing like sweet garlic. You drink more water.
We remind you that you are no longer a durian virgin; you are a real man now.
You consider this, and soon a big smile spreads across your face.
And then you burp.
Kenny Mah believes in the good in people. He has been blogging for over ten years. No, his hands aren't tired. Yet.
That was so sweet!
@Rad: Thanks – I think my friend would argue that it as smelly rather than sweet, haha.
I bet that burp ‘kills’ them all. :p
@jemima: Too true!! *evil laughter*
Looove the Bambi comparison!
@Jenny: It’s soooo true, right? Hehe.
LOL good times!
Need to get the pix from Jess, one of them you can literally see the moment I realized it tastes nothing like sweet garlic but more like poo (sorry durian lovers).
@Randy: Hahaha… Jenny certainly got you there telling you it tastes like sweet durian! Tee hee.
Haha I thought Devil likes durian. (Dunno where I saw that before) Tell him he can join me in the “Say-no-to-durian-club” LOL
@Baby Sumo: Devil does like durian — this was our poor friend Randy who ended up a durian victim, hehe.
Can’t understand why people don’t like durian, hehe :P
@Choi Yen: Hear, hear! They don’t know what they are missing out on — this is the King of Fruits, after all.
this is inspiring me to go hunt down a mangosteen virgin and force-feed him with the world’s most luscious fruit! :D
@Sean: …mangosteens, on the other hand, are probably the Dregs of the Society of Fruits. Eww.
i can relate to that. never fancied durians until i discovered the Musang King. Ate daily last year for one whole month to make up for my 38 years of not knowing durians. And then I stopped…and now I reckon I’ll give durian the dirty look till the strange cravings return one fine day…one fine day and i wonder when.
@missyblurkit: You ate durian every day for one whole month? Oh wow. That must be a world record of sorts… Let me know when you have your durian cravings again and we can go for a durian buffet… *winks*
Haha the inevitable burp after durian! I definitely wouldn’t want to be anywhere near :P
@iamthewitch: One burp is never enough! Hahaha…
And yet I bet it still stinks! I don’t like durian either!
@Paul: Hmm. I wonder if we counted all the durian lovers and durian haters leaving comments on this post, which side would be the majority?
a Smithsonian story about durians puts it, “Durian is like red onion that has been left in the cellar for years and then marinated in acetone.”
nuff said
@kc: ‘Nuff said? Not quite.
Allow me to counter with what the British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace wrote in 1856:
“The five cells are silky-white within, and are filled with a mass of firm, cream-coloured pulp, containing about three seeds each. This pulp is the edible part, and its consistence and flavour are indescribable. A rich custard highly flavoured with almonds gives the best general idea of it, but there are occasional wafts of flavour that call to mind cream-cheese, onion-sauce, sherry-wine, and other incongruous dishes. Then there is a rich glutinous smoothness in the pulp which nothing else possesses, but which adds to its delicacy. It is neither acid nor sweet nor juicy; yet it wants neither of these qualities, for it is in itself perfect. It produces no nausea or other bad effect, and the more you eat of it the less you feel inclined to stop. In fact, to eat Durians is a new sensation worth a voyage to the East to experience. … as producing a food of the most exquisite flavour it is unsurpassed.”
Now, then. ‘Nuff said.
@Baby Sumo, I love durian very much, it smells so nice, heaven! hahahaha. So I can’t join your “Say-no-to-durian-club”. :P
@devil ck: You can join my “CAN’T-Say-No-to-Durian-Club” instead. *evil laughter*
LOL! Maybe my mother can join the club on my behalf.
@Baby Sumo: We welcome Baby Sumo’s Mom to join the club, haha.
FORCED FEEDING lol.
@Michelle Chin: Consider that a privilege. *chuckles*
No! Ahahaha. But durian is sweet although at the same time it is also super wet worn socks smelly!
@Rad: Oh the poor durian — such a maligned fruit!