.
.
When here I am no longer, will you dance at parties still or will you merely linger, waiting for more time to kill? We cook for two now, used to be for one. After, you read your books and I read mine. Do these pages tell of the day we’re done, and what does it say on that last line? Dreamwalking through this slow summer, asleep beneath our single breath; each heartbeat drums a love letter: “May we never part until death.”
Why worry about Forever? We will always have, my dear, the best of our lives together, till comes the day I’m not here.
.
~
.
When time comes for me to pass, I want to move on wrapped in your arms; let the last touch be yours, the last smell your familiar scent, the last sound your tender voice, the last sight your loving face and the last taste your kiss upon my lips. I will fade one day but may that day be very, very far away. Our life together has been my greatest happiness. There is no corner of my heart that you have not brightened. You are everything, my love, my everything.
.
.
P.S. Voices from The Underground
Several fresh new literary voices emerge with the appearance of a slim black volume this Saturday (25th October 2008; 3:30pm) at The Seksan Gallery in Bangsar. The book “Voices from The Underground” showcases the works of nine writers; Catalina Rembuyan, Hazlan Zakaria, Mooza Mohd, George Wielgus, Sheena Baharudin, Evanna Ramly, Reza Rosli, Pey Pey Oh and Kathleen Choo.
天官赐福，百无禁忌
Kenny Mah believes in the good in people. He has been blogging for over ten years. No, his hands aren't tired. Yet.
Credits: Photograph by Queen DSLR © 2007. Design by Kenny Mah.
I know it’s a love letter, but seems a bit morbid where you say “when I’m no longer here” and there’s a big picture of you up there. ^_^ What’s the background in the photo, by the way?
aaaah, it is so beautiful!!!!
» Argus December Dogma
LOL!! I didn’t realize it till after posting it and my dear told me the same thing! But it’s not meant to be morbid, honest! :)
The background is a clock on a wall in Prague that I faded out. The original pic of me by Queen DSLR was rather dark, taken in a kopitiam during a rainy day, but my photoshopping skills have finally improved sufficiently for me to rectify it.
» kak teh
Thanks. *hugs*
Somehow, this entry reminds me the feeling I get when I read The Time Traveler’s Wife.
:)
» mh
And what feeling is that, exactly? :)
*sniff*
I can really relate to this, Kenny.
Btw, when it’s time for you not to be here.. it’s time that most of us won’t be here too..
between you and lemongrass, i have a ‘card’ for every occassion.. which reminds me, hubby’s bday coming up.. can just plagiarize straight off your website.. lol.. (joking)… but really folks.. v inspiring..! thanks for sharing the luuuuurve:D
» Jemima
Aye, so let’s make the best of the time that we do have, right now, with the folks we love around us.
» cumi&ciki
A card for every occasion? Hmm… maybe we could go into the greeting card business, eh, Ms. Lemongrass? :P
hmmm i think time to get some deep inspiration (aka copy and pasting) for the Girlfriend’s birthday in Dec..hahah
if i take a line from each entry you do..should be enough to make a short story by Dec?
» lotsofcravings
Methinks the Girlfriend would much appreciate a single word uttered from your lips than a hundred lines taken from each of my posts… Trust me on that. ;)
“天官赐福，百无禁忌”
isn’t that some chinese saying about not being superstitious? hmmm…
sounds like a reflection of the days when you were sick liddat hor?
oh, can i order a deepavali card? :)
» Nic (KHKL)
Sumthin’ liddat. My baby insisted I add that on since the portrait was so ominous when paired with the text. I’m afraid I’m under orders to remove this picture ASAP so you guys should enjoy it while it’s still up. Figurin’ out what to replace it with… Hmm.
p.s. Deepavali card? Eh…
‘pak-mou-kam-kei’
1st thot you went on holiday then when I saw that pic thot you were saying gdbye to this blog. Phew. Only an incredible love post. Double phew.
Lol at Nic asking for a Diwali card.
» Tummythoz
Ah, who knows? One day I might well say auf wiedersehen to this blog of mine…
Whoopeedooo! Voices from the Underground featuring one of my favourite writers!!! Can someone get me a copy ar?
Why suddenly everyone tokking about Deepavali cards ar? (And awwww….touched by Ciki’s comments :-) )
When I took this pic ar?
» Lyrical Lemongrass
Uhm, cos Deepavali is less than a week away. I personally can’t wait for that Oktobervali Brunch this Saturday. It’s the event of the month for me! :D
As for the pic, it was one rainy day late last year; we were in a Hainanese Kopitiam near my old place, having coffee with the Diva & Boy Boy when you snapped this pic. It was one of my fav portraits ever but too dark to use… till now. The wonders of Photoshop! ;)
Kenny, I’m going to give a persuasive speech this week, (part of the assignments, of course). Asking your permission to feature you and LFB as part of the speech. I’m going to convince people into blogging.
May I?
:D
Could this be your take on the Bob Dylan inspired movie “I’m Not There”?
Your blog is looking very flash these days lah!
» moja
Of course, you have my permission. How flattering! I’m a tad concerned that using me as an example might very well persuade folks to AVOID blogging though. Hahaha…
» Tunku Halim
I’m dying to watch that movie actually, esp. Christian Bale’s performance. But no, it’s not inspired by that but rather, in a very roundabout manner, another movie I haven’t seen yet, ‘Milk’ by Gus Van Sant. Cinephiles would notice the colour scheme of the pic above mirrors the film poster’s.
But that’s just me and trivia. :P
Looking at the title, followed by your photo and the first para, I was like ‘choi choi choi’!!!!
» Precious Pea
I know, I know. My darling is very, very displeased with me. I swear it was an accident… the original title of this post would have been “Milk” (see above comment) but you know things are with me blogging, I start out one way and it takes a completely different turn. I was listening to Ingrid Michaelson’s “Corner Of Your Heart” (which influenced one of the lines here) and thinking of Stephen Daldry’s “The Hours” rather than “I’m Not There” by Todd Haynes…
Very complicated lah.
Anyway, will change the pic soon rather risk a domestic maelstrom tonight. :P
Haha…I don’t know how to describe leh….you read the book and tell me how you feel. Especially the ending part….when it gotta to with the wife and his kid. Or you wait for the movie to be out…and watch it.
Come to think of it, besides the The Time Traveler’s Wife, there’s also PS I Love You (dont’ watch the movie, read the book – if you are into getting yourself depressed), and the Ronan Keating song : If Tomorrow Never comes.
aha
dedicated to the only one worth dedicating , once more…
» mh
“Or you wait for the movie to be out…and watch it.”
That seems to be what everyone does these days, right? Wait for the film to be released first, watch it, and if it’s any good, read the book. Well, I believe I shall continue to buck the trend on this. ;)
» backstreetgluttons
Hehe. Yes. :D
can you write something in the genre of jackie collins? this is too deep for me….
speaking of morbid, i just attended a funeral yesterday, and these days modern crematoria can get your ashes ready within 3 hours… cool huh! in the oven at noon, lunch, and presto, ready to be interred or dumped in the sea.
beautiful as your prose is, alas, i cant see myself utilising it…..on anyone…(without sputtering and choking and gasping for air)
it just occured to me, that for a non food blog, u have a LOT of food blogger regulars hor….
Ah, you changed the banner pic. Thank goodness. It somehow changes the mood and tone. Can’t pinpoint why. I mean your love letter is still sweet and lovey, but the morbidness is gone. Ah, your sweetie and I look at things similarly, hor? ;-)
Oh, I too want to watch ‘I’m Not There’. Hope the library here will get its DVD soon. Just saw ‘Kite Runner’ on DVD last night — pretty good, though I still can’t fathom why the protagonist as a child was so bad to his loyal best friend, Hassan.
i shud stick the 2nd half of ur post on the pall care ward.
» fatboybakes
1. Jackie Collins? Hmm, now what does she write again? :P
2. As for the speed of modern crematoria: Ashes to Flashes?
3. LOL
4. Maybe my blog is food for the food bloggers? Just a thought.
» Argus Dogma
Yes, well my sweetie is enamoured by your classiness so I’d so the two of you are on the same wavelength. Just glad the pic’s less morbid for you guys. :)
P.S. So many good movies to catch, so little time!
» Jun
Pall care?
oh lord, killing yourself isn’t the answer to your miseries. you have more to live for. always remember that suicide…..oh wait, it’s just a sweet love letter and not a suicide note…right? hope i’m right …. errrr
» A Lil Fat Monkey
Very the funny, Monkey. :P
In the throes of love, I guess.Get in, with both eyes open. Once in, with one eye closed. Married, with both eyes covered!!
» Chin
LOL!!! I hope that last bit isn’t really true. I have seen so many loving couples after decades of marriage to be inspired, rather than discouraged. :)
If goosebumps on my arms and pricks on the back of my neck are anything to go by, I’ve got plenty of them. Oh, and the good kind.
That fateful day you say, the day you would fade away; that day would never come. For memories and people are one and the same; they exist for as long as a speck of dust takes to land on the same spot twice.
» Michelle
“the day you would fade away; that day would never come. For memories and people are one and the same”
Which makes me wonder, How do we want to be remembered? As a good person, good citizen, good child and parent, a good friend, a good lover? Who will we be when we are gone?
“Who will we be when we are gone?”
We will be the words we spoke, the actions we took, the choices we made, the changes we created. We will be our laughter, our tears, our anger, our emotions.
We will be all our living years squeezed into one minute, one hour of each day.
» Michelle
I knew you’d have a great answer to that question o’ mine, dear. And so it is. That’s who we will be — who we have been all the while, who we are, in fact, right now. :)
No lah. Covered the eyes in laughter and also in response one another’s gaffes and weaknesses!
» Chin
Hahahaha… That’s true too! Perfect. :D
That’s exactly what I want. To have what I have now with my beloved last till the last of our lives.
You have very successfully, single-handedly (with some help from yours truly) created an emo in me.
Now you’re making me think, what kind of person am I?
» Michelle
Created an emo? Maybe that could go on my tombstone:
“Kenny Mah. 1979 – 20xx. He created emos.”
:P
(And yes, what kind of person are you?)
I’m an attention-seeker who doesn’t like crowds; a bubbly fun person who likes to be alone; a person with an emotional scale ranging from deep depression to light-hearted eccentricity.
I’m a walking contradiction-of-sorts. That is, if you haven’t figured out already. (Which is another one of them contradictions, because I wish people would just ‘get’ me, but hate it when they really do.)
Kenny, it’s a wraaaaapp!
I did my speech yesterday and my lecturer seemed happy with it!
mwahahaha!
the hellish week of assignments is OVER. now it’s turn to sink my face into books for my final exam!
:d
» Michelle
“I’m an attention-seeker who doesn’t like crowds”
That sounds like one of my ex’s.
“a bubbly fun person who likes to be alone”
That sounds like another ex.
Heh, I better stop here before I run out of ex’s… LOL
And it doesn’t matter that more people don’t get you so long as the precious few who are important to you do.
» moja
Congratulations, dude! Do get some shut-eye though before your finals prep. You’ll need it, bro. :)
*blink blink*
I’m a couple of your ex’s rolled into one? Probably means that you and me better stay platonic FOREVER! :lol:
*me wonders if you’ve got an emo ex as well..*
» Michelle
Platonic it is. I can’t be falling fall each and every one of my readers, can I? Imagine the chaos that will ensue! :P
As for emo ex’s, let’s not get into that, mostly for my personal health. LOL
“Imagine the chaos that will ensue!”
Ah, imagine I did! And what horrors!
You’d have to change “Comments” to “Cat-fight-ments”.
And instead of “Leave a reply”, you’d do well to change it to “Leave a catty remark”.
Yikes!
» Michelle
Nah, can’t be that bad. Not all my readers are female, see? Can’t imagine my male readers fighting over me. :P
“Can’t” imagine? Or “do not want to” imagine? LOL
I left you a comment on some other post, got eaten up.. *sigh*
Just saw FBB’s take on modern ‘crematoria’ (reminds me of his clitoria references). Hey, they can cool your cremated remains in 3 hours? (Kenny, it’s your doing for generating these thoughts of death, OK? Now I know it was because of the washed brightness of the picture, accidentally mimicking those in obits. Thanks for the compliment, sweets, by the way. *waves embarrassed hands*) And then FBB mentions ‘presto’ and I read it mistakenly thinking he can make pesto from someone’s ashes for lunch.
(Haiya, I should check meself into an old folk’s home before I forget.)
» Michelle
I don’t think the comment got eaten; it’s here, I believe.
As for imaginining, I’m sure you guys can do pretty well imagining on your own, hehe.
» Argus D’Margus
Pesto from human ashes? I hope FBB’s not serving that this Saturday for his Oktoberfesteevali Brunch… I was hoping more for muruku and Bavarian beer. :P
As for thoughts of death, my apologies if I have offended. T’was not my intention so, honestly.
What offence? No off fans, lah, Jungmann. It’s all good.
But make sure FBB’s pesto is not grey in colour, OK? ;-P I made murukku for the first time today, incidentally. Now sakit tekak from eating it. Cheh.
*hobbles off for a snooze in a coffin*
» Argus D’Margus
Then, got ‘on’ fans, issit? LOL
(Man, this conversation is getting weird…)
Drink lots of hot honey tea with ginger… soften that sore throat in a jiffy. Methinks I better go easy on those murukku today too. :)
hmmmm luckily i managed to see this photo before you removed it! kinda morbid and ominous as the other readers have said… but i do get that its meant to be a declaration of love. :)
but yeah i can imagine how she feels looking at the photo with that text. if my guy showed me something like this i would INSIST he get rid of it too! lol
and…the background is a photo of a clock? look and look and look also dont look like clock wor… :P
» lingzie
The background is indeed the photo of a clock face in Prague but I guessed I blurred it out too much, hor? :P
The original pic is now my profile pic on Facebook if you’re on my friends list. :D
Hmmphh.. . I think we can plagiarize this as wedding vows.
Oh Kenny, that is indeed slightly morbid. Then as I re-read it, I realized it has sentimental love notes in it..must be by sniffy nose and irritating cough that masked it.
天官赐福，百无禁忌…too deep for me….don’t understand. ;p
palliative care. whoopsie. too much medspeak. how was ur long weekend btw? :)
» gina
Really? Who would wed to these words of mine? I wonder what form my own vows would take/ (But let’s not get ahead of ourselves… We haven’t even taken care of the proposal yet, haha…)
» daphne
It’s all clear in hindsniff, er, hindsight. :P
» tigerfish
“The heavens bless us with good fortune; therefore no calamities befall us” … or sumthin’ liddat. Also too cheem for me. LOL
» Jun
Very good and friend-packed weekend in KL, JB and S’pore. But my baby fell sick so it’s my turn to play doctor-and-nurse. Poor, poor Devil Wears Prada. :(
you’re not here? i was not here too….
but now, Ayam Beg.
didnt pop over for a while now and first thing i read is you sharing your love letter? hehe
I agree with Pea, “choi choi choi”..
But then again, you know what they say about death and taxes…
» keropokman
Wilkommen zurück! :D
» sc
Some days, every breath is a love letter…
» unkaleong
Urgh. Don’t remind me about taxes… :P
so lovely, so desireable, so wanting to own one. . .. . available, a great lifetime experience…… that is what life is about . . ..a perfect one!
» big boys oven
Oh-kay…
Kenny: Funny, my thoughts have been going over the same threads for awhile now – death and what becomes of the life we leave behind. Morbid? Perhaps…Beautiful rhyming prose, my friend.
» Eliza D
I think it’s part of growing up more than simply growing older… we want our lives to have meant something and to have left something more than our bones and ashes behind. I’m still wondering what I will leave behind me.
Y’know, I was just talking about death the other day with my dad, and I asked him, what happens to the money in my savings account if I die? Maybe I should write up a will, just in case.
His reply was the sweetest: “Now, why would you want to do that? You don’t even have a lot of money to be important enough to write a will. And even if you had millions, they wouldn’t mean anything if you’re not here anymore.”
» Michelle
Your dad is a very wise man, my dear. I mean, one should always have a will written up, for estate planning purposes. It’s not always money that one leaves behind but perhaps some prized possession that would mean a lot to a loved one for sentimental reasons.
However, it’s not our money or possessions that mean anything once we’re gone but our loved ones, the ones we leave behind. It’s tough reconciling myself with this, personally, but I have done it before when my grandfather passed on, and so: we all survive.
Haa, I also thought, “Why is Kenny writing about death now?”…even before I finished the first sentence! Choi choi choi indeed. Ah, all the more, we should treasure the now…while we are STILL HERE!
» Camemberu
LOL! I think your comment made me laugh the loudest. And enough true it is. :)