Brilliant. Two days before Xmas and I find myself embroiled in some kind of online controversy. And I do know this is me blowing up out of proportion something someone else blew up out of proportion out of something I had earlier blew up out of proportion. Confused yet?

Last Friday, I sent out one of me annual Xmas sendouts, a poem in this case. I had specifically stated that “any unauthorised replication of the following will result in a life-time of wallowing in mud with Kentucky Fried Rednecks.” That should have been clear enough.

Me pal Jay read it and immediately forwarded it to a loved one. Then, he reread it, and decided he understood what I really meant. He emailed me and told me. I panicked. (Don’t ask me why. I just do.) I sent out an emergency missive to all those I sent the earlier Xmas email to, now something less cheery and Christmassy along the lines of don’t freakin’ pass it around! Huff. Huff.

Then, this morning I check me mail to see that Herr Wehrle had massmailed everyone on my list this:

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I am going to bitch now……… I am typing up my final project and someone repeadily emails me at 4 in the am, the computer was buzzing and lighting up like never before. Who the fuck is it, none other but my favorite China man (although he isnt chinese, or he is. Its complicated) Well any way, if you didnt want anyone to use your little hiku or what ever you call it, why didnt you just put a big damn R or C next to it, bust out the trial lawyers or better yet you should have put it in an email that destroys itself within 30 seconds of reading it.

If I did send it to one of my friends I woudl say ‘yeah some kid you dont know but I do wrote it’ would you be happy then? But at that point you are assuming that I would send that. You know what happens when we assume Kenny……???? The truth of the matter is I read it and said to myself what the fuck did I just read, then I remember it was from you and it made sense that it did not make sense. And we both know Mr. Mah, if you ever got that email forwarded back to you, in like a year, you would be busting some serious wood. Those are the facts sir. …….and I am done.

Merry Christmas right back at you toughguy. And I will be loading those stockings, if you know what I mean. Actually I dont know what I mean.

Wehrle

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And you wanna know what the worst part is? As usual, in his hey-jerky style of composition, he’s right. I may have missed the point of Christmas altogether. I did have good intentions, writing this poem just fer me friends. But Xmas is about giving and giving and giving, isn’t it?

So call me Scrooge. I think it suits me, anyway.

As amends, pass my poorly-penned, undeserved poem to anyone you love if you so choose to. I’ll put it up permanently on this site too. And let this be my Xmas present to you guys. Cheers.

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Copyright © 2002 Kenny Mah Ying Fye.