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On the whole, anything that gets you writing and keeps you writing is a good thing. Anything that stops you writing is a bad thing.
~ Neil Gaiman

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So I sit at my desk and wait for inspiration to start writing. Or at least that’s the concept. With my PC in front of me and loads of stuff I can fiddle with, settling down to focus on any one thing seems all but impossible. And yes, I know, why don’t I switch off the damned computer and write on paper like good and deceased authors do? Hasn’t happened for years… I think my fingers are completely wired to the keyboard now… nothing flows from a pencil, no matter how well sharpened it is.

(This is no reason to retire such a faithful instrument however; other uses abound, such as impalement on one’s knees when frustrated with stubborn sentences that refuse to form, though I would suggest using someone else’s knees if available and to run if successful. Who knows? The adrenaline from fleeing may inspire; it will go a long way in preventing an unwelcomed case of writer’s arse¹ at the very least.)

The alternative is to lie in bed and try to nap and get some rest. (I’ve been strangely buzzed these past couple of days and unable to sleep much; at this stage I’m pretty zombie-like.) Of course, the moment my head hits my pillow and I close my eyes, all the ideas and thoughts crawl out of wherever they were hiding and besiege me. It’s fighting a losing battle either way – if I try to ignore them, I just waste hours attempting slumber; if I get up to put the ideas down to words, I just get sucked into some other highly enjoyable activity that is very much not Writing.

Time for some discipline, methinks. So I decided to draw up some rules for me to follow if I’m ever gonna get this writing thing off the ground. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Set specific deadlines to finish a story, and make sure I meet them.
2. Get up at six every morning and sit down in solitude to contemplate and write.
3. Be prepared to revise and edit my work; to cut away entire paragraphs if necessary.
4. Interview people; journalism helps me understand people better.
5. Observe and take notes wherever I go.
6. Market and sell everything I complete.
7. Learn to love and appreciate rejection letters.
8. Collaborate with someone else – another writer or artist.
9. Read one or two books a week.

A reality check and a few minutes later, I’ve amended my list somewhat:

1. Set specific deadlines to finish a story, and make sure I meet them even if I don’t end up meeting them.
2. Get up at six every morning and sit down in solitude to contemplate and write. Try waking up before noon first.
3. Be prepared to revise and edit my work; to cut away entire paragraphs if necessary. Get a good editor instead, preferrably someone else kind enough to be cruel.
4. Interview people; journalism helps me understand people better. Hello? They have this thing called the newspaper?
5. Observe and take notes wherever I go. Try and not get flattened by a bus when crossing road while listening to .mp3s.
6. Market and sell everything something I complete.
7. Learn to love and appreciate rejection letters. Learn to make projectile missiles from rejection slips and return to sender.
8. Collaborate with someone else – another writer or artist. (Flirting with cute waitresses does not constitute ‘collaboration’, though the way they strut is Art surely.)
9. Read one or two books a week something other than a webpage.

All of this is making me depressed. Ga. I hate making lists. Actually I love making lists, but they don’t do me no good. It’s like having an addiction without any of the highs. Who knows? A stiff drink might just do the trick. While it’s not explicitly part of Neil Gaiman’s excellent advice on writing and getting published, I would like to think it’s in the right spirit (no pun intended). A gin and tonic sounds real sweet now.

It seems I’ve figured everything out except for the part where I actually do some writing. I don’t think I have to worry about expiring from excessive boredom or alcohol consumption – Procrastination alone ought to do the trick. And maybe this is really what stops me from doing anything right (or indeed, anything at all); the whole weary fear of going beyond merely contemplation. Justin’s always telling me to take action, to do it now and to have a sense of urgency about the whole business.

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Maybe I’m built differently but it has never worked. Yeah sure, for a while in the beginning, every single time, I always have that spur of enthusiasm to get things done and to make Life happen for me. But this is adrenalin on loan, and it always fades. I have to figure out a way to avoid straying off this path, to focusfocusfocus.

The thing is, do I even know what path I’m on?

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~ * ~

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Current Mood: Consumed
Current Music:

• Elliot Smith – Condor Ave.
• The Cure – Where the Birds Always Sing
• Manic Street Preachers – My Little Empire

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