One:
After a daze of bytes searching for songs to add to my list of favourites, I realise what the problem was. I wanted meaning for my life and I was convinced that it is out there. With money, friends, or even obscure knowledge of music. But those are merely likes. As are my current torments mere dislikes.Perhaps there is no need for all the drama I enjoy so much.

Two:
Got an email from Takehide today. I really found it brilliant; all that talk of year-end parties and him cooking ramen noodles for me (one day). Which made me happy.

But I cannot, in turn, make him happy; I cannot truly spur him on to try BCG again instead of lumbering into one of the local Tokyo firms. I cannot because I have no confidence myself. Not now.

Perhaps I am not as strong as I want to be.

Three:
I spent a good hour plus tonight trying to convince Monkey Boy not to go to Hohenzollernplatz for the Chinese All-You-Can-Eat. Excuses abounded like how I’ve heard it was bad (which was true), how all Chinese buffets are bad (which was not so true), and how there was a global conspiracy to posion Americans with MSG (which was so far removed from the truth it was prolly true).

‘Course I was doing this just cos I wanted someone to bum with. Time spent making me feel good. Plain selfishness? Whatever. Fact remains life doesn’t work this way, unfortunately. Other people have their own lives.

Perhaps I should have mine.

What These Three Things Might Possibly Mean:
I dunno; I’m not the psychotherapist here. It could mean I feel lonely. Or that I’m a jerk. Anything you can think of. Pick something.

Perhaps I’m just not happy.