The year two thousand. A new millennium as centuries swap. I’m twenty-one years old and as emo as can be. I write lovelorn poems and mood pieces despite not having really lived yet. I write about searching for “The One”, as encouraged by various pop songs and TV dramas. It’s all rather depressing.
Today, eleven years later, this is interesting largely because I no longer believe in the concept of “The One”, not when certain conceptualizations of romance can lead unwitting victims down the road to emotional imprisonment. Not a swell time, really. Still. It’s fun to look back in time, and say hello to myself.
Be kind.
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You Are The One
Almost An Anthem For The Year 2000
There is someone we all search for.
Someone that will be more than just a friend. Someone who will be our match for life. Someone who will be flesh to our lonely bones. The One.
I look for you too.
It’s not easy, this search. There are times I feel like giving up; it’s too hard. Perhaps, but the day that I find you, I will know it would be worth the days spent searching.
There are also times when I get tired of hoping for all the right qualities, the sort that are just right for me, to appear. Why not settle for someone almost like something wonderful, a quick compromise so I need not wait? I mean, I’m not looking for a perfect partner, just the one who would be perfect for me. And I for you.1
Someone to whom I would seem perfect.
That’s why I can’t settle for anything less. It would be too unfair to me and the poor creature I chose out of impatience. If you are the one, you will be worth the wait.
Do I believe in the only one, that there is only one person for another in this world? I think I rather not believe that; it limits love to a game of chance.
Love isn’t just luck, it’s a lot of hard work and perseverance. I know this from my struggles with my dearest family; struggles which bear the sweetest fruit. But my orchard is still missing one bloom – would I ever find you?
I don’t know, but I feel that I would rather die trying than take my last breath in the prescence of someone I do not love.
But who is this person I would love?
I haven’t met you yet; but maybe I know you by heart.2
While I can’t profess the same level of romantic idealism that Ms. McBeal has, I am almost sure we suffer the same grief and longing. The pangs of missing someone who hasn’t come yet. The loss of someone I haven’t found yet. The sweet dreams that do not return a reality I can taste.
I wait by the door of my heart, hoping that you will open it one day. Would I know you should you knock on my door?
I was her she was me
We were one we were free
And if there’s somebody calling me on
She’s the one
And if there’s somebody calling me on
She’s the one 3
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I can only pray I can know you as well as Mr. Williams does.
I can only hope the day you come, I will know you are the one.
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1 “She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.” – Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting
2 “No we’ve never met / Haven’t found him yet / But I know him by heart / No we’ve never met / Haven’t found him yet / But I know him by heart” – Vonda Shepard, I Know Him By Heart
3 Robbie Williams, She’s the One (Lyrics written by Karl Wallinger)
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Copyright © 2000 Kenny Mah Ying Fye. Image: Redesign of the original “She’s The One” post, circa 2002. Music: Silverchair – Anthem for the Year 2000 • Vonda Shepard – Ask the Lonely • Robbie Williams – She’s the One
Kenny Mah believes in the good in people. He has been blogging for over ten years. No, his hands aren't tired. Yet.
awww !!! u should seriously publish a coffee table book of all your works :)
@vimesh: Thanks, bro – that’s really kind of you to say so.
(Those who know how big a procrastinator I am though would shake their heads and tell you that’s some long waiting for that to happen, if ever. Darn.)
I am still at the millennium juncture. Yes. It’s tiring and sometimes it feels suffocating.
Very nicely crafted.
@Carpe diem: Breathe.
Breathe, my friend, breathe. We rush around so much that sometimes we forget to just do this most basic of actions – to simply breathe.
Sometimes the person you really need is the one is the one you didn’t think you wanted.
Amendment:
*is the one you didn’t think you wanted.
@jemima: So true, that. I met the Devil with the most mundane of intentions, a couple of friends meeting up for drinks for the first time… and the rest is history, as they say. *winks*
The One.. so many have gone through hell and back, in the process of searching for the One, or trying to retain who they think is the One.. It’s not a nice process, but it’s oh-so-worth-it. In the end, all the sacrifice is nothing compared to the joy and everlasting happiness of having the soul mate, the life partner and the best friend, all in one. Happy Monday dear! :)
@iamthewitch: Happy Monday to you too, dear!
And ditto everything you said. It’s oh-so-worth it. Totally. *beams*
Jiwang *giggle* Never wrote such poems but I did attempt a few limericks!
@Paul: I’m beginning to suspect that every time you call me “jiwang”, you really mean “emo”… *laughs*
what is it abt being 21? i was also an emo chic. but i guess we do grow out of it, and looking back, i dunno what came over me, but, like u said, it’s quite fun (and funny sometimes, too, esp seeing how we’ve grown).
@Jun: The looking back part can be both embarrassing yet highly amusing. I think growing up means getting a thicker skin and learning to laugh at ourselves.
And being kind. Kind to others and kind to ourselves.
quite sweet wat. and precocious too, for a 21-year-old. and ultimately … prophetic? :D
@Sean: Prophetic? I’m no seer or oracle, my friend. Just… grateful, and we’ll leave it at that. *winks*
I believe although we had found our another one but he/she maybe not “The One” for you until the last day of our life~~
@Choi Yen: I sorta believe in The One Who’s Right For Right Now. Trying to tell the future, or worse, control it, seems to be a recipe for unhappiness to me. (I oughta know; been there, done that.)
Yet the romantic in me would like to see that though – the “until the last days of our lives” bit. *hugs*
I still believe in THE one! Everyone should have one.. and if we are patient, we normally find what we’re holding out for!! xoxo
@Ciki: Patience and persistence. Good virtues to be had. You said it, dear.
i wait by the door at my heart… oh so touching-nya!!! something that worth to repeat… i super like your writing!!!! XD i may need your help for such touching writing if i ever publish a book ok? i mean you gotta be the editor lol
@fufu: Me, an editor? Oh all the stuff I’d miss… I’d be terrible with typos… Come to think of it, I’d probably need an editor myself! Hahaha…
Dear Kenny -
I still wait at the door to my heart … :) but this time with hope that one day, I will find that person. And right now, I’m just happy being me. :D
Thanks for another wonderfully thought through, heavenly penned and wickedly deliciously piece of prose … :D
*hugs*
Ken.
@Kenneth: That’s fantastic – and trust me, most of us, myself included, weren’t able to simply be happy being ourselves. It’s the best start… and the best way to open the door to our hearts, by being content with who and how we are.
*hugs*
wat a sentimental post! like it very muchie^^!~can try to write lyrics for song~~
@xjion89: You mean the “She’s the One” bits? Uhm, that is the lyrics to a song… sung by Robbie Williams. *winks*
i wouldnt know if he’s the one if he really comes knocking on my door, let’s just wish he got the right key to unlock the door himself..
@lena: Maybe the way to him getting the right key is you handing it over to him? Sometimes even the best of us need some help. *winks*
Brilliant, I like it. Also like the look and feel of your blog.
If you’re looking and waiting for The One, stop. It’s about time, and it’s up to God. It’s true that there is someone out there who was made just for you. It’s true that it is someone who isn’t perfect but who is perfect for you. And you will both know when you meet – there will be no doubt about it in your hearts. The Hollywood or pop term for this is soulmate. This person will almost be a mirror-image of you. Which is why you will not meet them if you’re not ready yet. You must be as perfect in yourself, your affairs and your life before the person enters your life. You would have gone through many emotional and spiritual experiences and “evolved” before meeting. The key is to keep “working” on yourself, especially your inner self: improve at all times, be better always.
If I sound like I’m an expert on this to anyone, don’t be fooled. I’m still learning about this concept like everyone else. How come? Because I “found” my soulmate and had to learn the hard way and I am only just beginning to understand. The strange thing was, I was just enjoying life when we met. My life was fab, and I had everything I ever wanted and I had reached a time in my life when I had excelled physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually – so being pretty fab in myself too. This is what I meant by being ready. And we were only friends. Totally unexpected.
Good luck :) and don’t think of who, or when, or how…only think about how to be the best you can be :)
@superbadkitty: Tanks for leaving your comment – I really appreciate your thoughts and your sharing them.
Me, I’m still learning. I’m certainly not seeking “The One” any more (this piece was written by a 21-year old me, eleven years ago) and it’s not simply because I have found my partner and we are happy together. No, it’s because I realise, through good times and bad, the only “One” I ought to focus on is myself. No one else can make my life better; it’s not about giving up the responsibility for my own life to another, whoever that ideal of a person may be.
We are all humans, we all make mistakes. And this is the beautiful thing about who we are and what makes us unique and special and enable us to contribute to the world around us.
Good luck to you too. And thank you for being wonderful.