It isn’t noon yet but the sun feels high above our heads.
We find vacant seats in the nearly full amphitheatre half-encircling the object of everyone’s attention: the Lady Knox Geyser.
Everyone is here to watch her blow.
Soon one of the Wai-O-Tapu Thermal Wonderland staff arrives, navigating the neat rows of visitors to the front of the geyser, which is currently not doing much beyond a few occasional puffs.
Cue a recitation of the history and background of the geyser and her name. Everyone is restless, tired of waiting. Chattering like insects, murmurs and click-clacks.
The staff then proceeds to pour soap down Lady Knox’s gullet.
“So some of you are probably thinking that that’s not a real geyser. She’s putting soap into the geyser. But the geyser is real. She does go off on her own, but her cycle is usually between 24 and 48 hours so if we wait for her, we could be waiting all day.”
As the Bard wisely noted, The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
Basically this process is akin to “inducing labour” with some surfactant — a compound that lowers the surface tension — such as the soap employed here.
And to continue the awkward metaphor in another adjacent direction, this results in a premature, messy ejection.
Slowly the mouth of the geyser begins to froth and bubble. The action is about to begin.
“Alright, I’ve already taken a shower today so I’ll leave you guys with the geyser. Thank you very much.”
Scattered applause but soon everyone is busy looking at the tall column of hot water and steam that is shooting upwards.
Then, as soon as it started, it ends, until barely a dribble is discernible.
The Indian gentleman in front of me and I turn to look at each other. Slowly like in the movies. We burst out laughing till there are tears at the edge of our eyes.
A German tourist standing near us does an amazing impression of Wile E. Coyote’s infamous jaw drop. His disbelief mirrors everyone else’s.
The WTF look is pretty much universal.
An American woman turns to her partner: “Is this it?”
Apparently so.
The Wai-O-Tapu staff is nowhere to be seen, of course, having wisely made her escape before Lady Knox sputtered out.
The gushing of superheated water skywards is already pretty phallic enough; this entire fast draw performance lasts maybe a minute. To say Lady Knox has failed to measure up would be a generous understatement.
What makes our day isn’t the less than full throttle eruption but everyone’s reaction to it. A brief camaraderie, a fellowship of tourists who have been parted from their money but have gained a story to tell everyone back home.