It started with a bad romance.
You tell me Lady Gaga is your favourite singer. It wasn’t the songs or whatever meanings they held, you say. No, it was more the drama and the theatricality of her videos that caught your attention. Is this a little shallow of you, you ask.
Maybe it is, you answer for me, but you can’t help yourself. It really is a sort of a bad romance.
She is quite a performer, I assure you.
Her songs, you whisper, as though sharing a secret, I wasn’t really into them at first. Then ‘Bad Romance’ came out and that song, that song transcended boundaries, you gush. There’s a reason why we like certain artistes more than others. Usually it’s because the artiste really speaks to them or they can relate to them. Yeah, that’s true, I say.
But really, what really pulls me towards Lady Gaga is the way she dedicates her work to her little monsters.
Little monsters?
That’s what she calls us, her fans. You may say that she’s just saying all those things about her fans to brainwash us… but I don’t think so. I have never seen any artiste as dedicated to her fans, who thinks about her fans as much as other artiste do. In most interviews, she talks about her fans. I mean, when she was on tour, she bought pizzas for her fans who are waiting outside her hotel for hours.
You pause to take a breath. I smile at you, at your joy and your passion.
Everyone behaves to what extent they can, I say at last. It’s not easy being an artiste or someone popular. My favourite writer would always wait till the last person in line has their books signed before leaving even if it means his signing hand is almost worn off… but not all writers can do that, can they? Not with their commitments, their families.
Yeah, you say, it’s this kind of dedication that really makes the difference. I don’t know why I’m so crazy about her though. Anyway, I should stop talking about her, I sound like a borderline fanatic by now, don’t I? You’re going to be bored.
I’m never bored, I say. Not when I’m listening to someone who cares so much about something. It’s an honour.
Me, I’m not really into Lady Gaga. But I understand the attraction. It’s nice to feel someone you admire caring about you. Someone who gets what you are going through, someone who puts that to words, to song, to whatever medium that gets through to you. Growing up and becoming an adult can be a lonely, terrifying process. It doesn’t hurt to have a little help along the way, even if it all goes in one direction only. This is why I write, I guess. This is why I blog. Putting myself out there, out here, for the past decade, it can be a lonely business. Does it matter if I am read or if I am not? What remains true no matter what is simply this – that I am writing, that I have a voice and that I am using it. I survive, I get stronger. This is me, I tell myself. This is me and I am writing for myself and for myself only.
Except this isn’t exactly true.
I am also writing for you. I am writing for the light and the colours and the beauty that is you and you and you. Your lives and your courage and your strength and your joy fill me up. You are reason enough to keep writing, to keep sharing as you too share with me.
I think of my friend and how Lady Gaga is a beacon in the dark for him. Then surely for me it is all of you who are my beacon and my light and my rainbow. Thank you.